Beyond the distant star

Beyond a distant star

Written by: CI and KP

"Hey Cupcake," Kevin asked as he and his co-worker sat outside on the steps of the cabin waiting for Andrew to arrive,

"Do you think it is possible to trust the Father in all things, as an angel?"

The little Irish angel sent him an odd look before she smiled as she looked up at the beautiful blue sky. The trees were finally filled with lovely hues of green as Spring seemed to explode around them everywhere and it was her favorite time of year when everything was new again after a long winter,

"Where did that come from, Kev?" She teased lightly, before appearing thoughtful,

"I'd like to think that I do, though I know that there have been times in the past when I have doubted Him. I know He is always there, but sometimes His plan isn't completely clear, even to angels."

"I think I trust Him most of the time," Kevin replied, thinking,

"I mean, all the times when I have doubted in the past, He has always taken the situation and made it into something good and I'm not sure there is ever time when He doesn't do that."

"I know the feeling," Monica replied with a light chuckle, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on them,

"Even all of those horrible things that have happened in the past, when I never thought anything good could come out of it...He always turned it around and caused something wonderful and beautiful to come out of it; it always amazes me, Kevin, you know?"

Nodding his head in agreement, Kevin leaned up against the front porch step and looked up at the trees and clear blue sky, his brown eyes sparkling with happiness at the lovely day the Lord had made,

"So do you have any idea what assignment we're gonna be on next, Cupcake? Andrew said that he would meet us here and explain it, but do you know anything about it?"

Monica shook her head as she turned her dark eyes to her younger co-worker,

"No, he just told me to wait for him here at the cabin with you and the others, and he'll meet us here; I believe he just finished up a short assignment of his own a few hours away, so waiting is what I'm doing." She shot a wink at Kevin and watched as he smiled back at her.

"What are you two babies doing out here?" A new voice came from behind the two younger angels and Monica turned around, smiling as she saw Tess coming through the front doo, a smile on her own face.

"Waiting for Simba to show up," Kevin replied as he folded his hands behind his head and continued looking up at the sky,

"He told Monica there's a new assignment for us, so now we're just waiting."

“Well, you certainly have a beautiful day to wait,” Tess remarked, gazing at the scenery around her.

“What are the others up to, Tess?” Kevin asked as he nodded his head in agreement,
”They’re not eating, are they? If so, I need to get in there-.”

Chuckling softly, Tess shook her head,
”No baby, Philip, Rose and Carla are taking in a game of Scrabble. I think they enjoy playing when Angel Girl is busy doing something else.”

Monica giggled before trying to look indignant,
”Andrew loves playing Scrabble with me, I’ll have you know.”

“Only because he has trouble telling you ‘no’ about much of anything, Cupcake,” Kevin shot back with a grin,
”You don’t see the way he rolls his eyes behind your back.”

The Irish angel smiled, her heart filling with love for her dearest friend as she gazed down the road once more, hoping to see his car. Though he had only been gone for a day, she missed him, as she loved knowing he was nearby. They shared a bond which could never be broken; a gift from the Father and other than His love, Andrew’s love and friendship was her favorite gift in all of creation,
”Well, some words that really aren’t words, should be words,” Monica replied with a wink,
”I’m only trying to increase the world’s vocabulary.”

Shaking her head with a chuckle, Tess reached down and patted her former charge on the shoulder,

"Well, you're definitely doing a good job, baby. Because you've created words I have never heard of before."

As the trio of angels continued laughing, the familiar sound of Andrew's car pulling up from across the street caused Monica to leap to her feet, a wide smile spreading across her face,

"There he is!"

As Andrew put the large car into park, the angel turned his tired, green eyes over to the cabin and saw his three friends on the front porch; Monica was just leaping to her feet and waving to him, while Kevin and Tess continued to laugh over something that was being said,

'It's so good to be home,' The blonde angel thought to himself as he shut the car off and pulled the keys from the ignition, leaning back against the seat for a brief moment before opening the car door. As the angel climbed out, he smiled in the direction of his dearest friend and lifted his hand in a wave as well,

"Hey, Angel Girl!" He called.

"I thought you'd never get here!" She called back to him as she headed for the road which was the only thing standing in the way from a hug from her best friend and she smiled again, seeing him heading in her direction.

But before she could step foot in the road to meet him halfway, the sound of screeching tires caused her to freeze as she turned her head sharply to the right to see a pickup truck speeding towards them. The driver was obviously not in his right mind as the truck swerved all over the road, and a scream lodged itself in her throat as the truck approached and took a reckless swerve right towards Andrew.

The horrible sound of a sickening "Thud" caused the scream to break free as she watched her dearest friend's body being thrown to the other side of the road as the truck continued on its reckless rampage away from them.

"Andrew!"

The sound of her scream caused Tess and Kevin to jerk their heads up at the sight of Monica racing to Andrew's bloodied and broken body,

"Oh sweet Lord in heaven," Tess uttered, as she felt as if her heart were stopping at the sight before her.

"Andrew! Andrew!" Monica's screams turned to horrible, heart-breaking sobs as she finally neared the road and fell to the ground next to her best friend's unconscious, bleeding form,

"Andy, sweetie, can you hear me? Oh God..." Gently reaching out, she laid a trembling hand on his shoulder, but he didn't reply with so much as a groan.

"Monica, don't touch him!" Tess' cry jerked her back and she looked through blurred vision across the street as her former supervisor and Kevin came running over to her,

"Don't touch him, Angel Girl!"

"Tess...he's..." The sobbing Irish angel covered her mouth with her hand as her older friend and co-worker came running towards she and Andrew and Tess came to a screeching halt as she also fell to her knees beside their beloved friend.

"Angel Boy? Sweetheart, can you hear me?" The elderly angel's voice was thick with tears as she spoke.

"Why isn't he answering, Tess…?" Monica uttered, terrified by how terribly still he was lying,

"Why won't he answer…?"

"Kevin, go and get Philip, so you two can get him inside…." Tess' voice was so low it was frightening as she laid fingers on Andrew's neck to find a pulse.

"Tess…" Kevin uttered hoarsely, but the older angel cut him off.

"Go, Kevin, now!"

As Kevin bolted to the cabin, Monica starred through tear-filled eyes as her best friend's still body, feeling as if she were going to be sick. Reaching out a shaky hand, she wrapped her fingers around his,

"Andrew….Andy…please…"

"Oh dear Father!" Rose cried out as she, Philip and Carla raced from the cabin,

"Angel Boy? Honey?"

"Rose, we have to get him inside. Now!" Tess ordered as she stayed crouched down in the road,

"Philip, we're going to need you, baby."

For the first time noticing that tears were falling from his dark eyes at the battered angel who was his friend, Philip gave himself a shake before he took action and knelt down beside of Monica and Tess,

"Aren't we going to hurt him more if we move him?"

"Philip...Trust Tess, okay?" Rose replied in a shaky whisper as she came around to her unconscious friend's other side,

"On three, lift him, all right?"

Her lower lip quivering as she watched the two angels start to lift her best friend from the hard, unforgiving ground, Monica turned tear-filled eyes to Kevin and Carla, and saw that the little blonde angel now had her arms wrapped around the youngest angel even while Carla herself was trying to keep her own emotions in tact.

Philip lifted the fallen angel into his arms as gently as he possibly could and he headed towards the cabin, knowing his friends were all close behind him,

"Hang on, Andrew," He whispered hoarsely.

As Philip laid the angel down on the sofa, Monica knelt down near his head. As her tears fell, she reached a hand out to touch his face, the tears coming harder when she felt how cold he was and saw the grayish appearance his face had taken on. Seeing Rose kneeling down beside of her, Monica whispered shakily,

"Angels can't die, Rose, right? They can't…."

Rose opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She had always believed with her whole heart that angels could not die, but looking at Andrew now, she was afraid to answer with what she had always believed,

"Just pray, Monica," She whispered shakily,

"Pray as you never have before…"

"Carla, what is happening?" Kevin whispered through tears, his eyes fixated on another part of the room.

The little blond angel turned her head as she sucked in a trembling breath at the sight of Adam and Henry,

"Oh Father, no, please no…."

His eyes blurring up at the sight of his former fellow Angel of Death, who continued to lay unconscious in front of them, Adam looked from Monica to Rose to Tess, and then to Kevin, Philip and Carla,

"We don't know yet, Carla..." He choked out, lowering his eyes to the ground before making his way over to his human friend's side and kneeling down next to a sobbing Monica,

"The Father hasn't said for sure yet..." Turning his eyes to the weeping Irish angel next to him, Adam reached a hand out and laid it on top of hers, but he flinched as she pulled it away immediately.

"You're here to take him; I know you are, Adam," She turned her tortured brown eyes to the Angel of Death and then up at Henry,

"But I refuse to allow you to do it! You aren't!"

Unsure of what to say, as everything had happened too quickly, Rose reached trembling fingers out and stroked her Angel Boy's chilly cheek,

"Sweetheart...if you can wake up for just a few moments...we love you so, so much..." She stopped in mid-sentance as she choked on a sob, unable to continue.

"Baby, fight, please," Tess whispered, her own voice shaking uncontrollably before she drew in a sharp breath as she saw Andrew weakly open his green eyes that were so full of pain,

"Angel Boy?"

"A-Adam…" Andrew's voice came out as a breath and nothing stronger as he closed his eyes in pain once more.

"No!" Monica cried out, her dark eyes wild with fear and grief unlike any she had ever felt before,

"Don't leave me, Andy….please don't…" Her dark eyes turning heavenward, she cried out in pain and anger to the One who loved them all,

"Don't do this!"

"This can't be happening," Carla uttered, still holding tightly to Kevin.

"Andrew," Adam said softly, pain evident in his gray eyes,

"Are you ready, my friend?"

"No! Stay away from him, Adam!" Monica whirled around to face the Angel of Death,

"Don't you dare take him! He belongs here with us! He belongs here with me!"

"He belongs to the Father right now, Monica," Henry spoke up for the first time, his own voice laced with sadness for everyone, particularily Andrew and Monica.

"Get away, now!" The Irish angel snapped, turning back to her best friend in the entire angelic realm,

"Don't leave me, Andy...please, don't...!" Leaning her forehead against Andrew's arm, she wept like she had never wept before,

"Don't..."

"Monica...we have to..." Adam choked out as his vision blurred up again. Turning back to his younger friend and laying a hand on his hand, the Angel of Death whispered shakily,

"Are you ready, Andrew?" He repeated above Monica's heart-breaking sobs and the other quiet sobs in the living room of the cabin.

As the remaining angels watched through their tears, Kevin clutching tightly to Carla, unable to watch his friend and supervisor pass on before his very eyes, Adam reached for his friend's hand and pulled him gently to his feet. As the Angel of Death wrapped an arm around his shoulders and turned him around to face his friends, Andrew felt his tears fall hard as he saw his unconscious human body and his best friend sobbing like never before over him. Turning to Tess, Rose, Philip and Carla, he met each of their eyes briefly before turning back around, unable to continue looking at the pain this was causing,

"I guess I have to be ready, huh, Adam?"

Unable to speak, Adam nodded his head tearfully as he gave his friend's shoulder a gentle squeeze. Nodding over at Henry, who stood at the human angel's other side, the two Angels of Death started walking towards the Light that had suddenly appeared and before long, disappeared.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

No sooner had the two angels departed with Andrew, the still human form that had once been an angel named Andrew vanished from the sofa, as if he had never been there at all. Shocked silence filled the room as for a moment everything in time seemed to stand still, the five angels too stunned and heart broken over what had just occurred to even react.

But a moment later, Monica's strangled cry echoed through the room as reality set as the part of her heart that belonged to Andrew, that they shared one connection with, slowly slipped away, leaving with it a cold and terrifying emptiness and an ache that went beyond the darkest corners of despair.

Kevin and Carla sobbed openly, their eyes filled with such disbelief as they held tightly to one another, trying to fathom what had just taken place. Philip stood as if frozen in place, barely able to comprehend that Andrew was indeed gone, silent tears streaming down his face as he watched Rose turn to Tess as the two older angels sobbed, they apparently having no more answers than he did.

"My Angel Boy..." Tess was the first one to finally speak as her trembling arms gathered Rose close to her, her tear-filled brown eyes on the couch where her beloved Angel Boy had once been and with a shake of her head, she cradled the Search and Rescue angel in her arms like she was a young girl,

"Oh Father...why...why...?"

Nobody know of how to reply to the angel's question, much less Monica who's head was now lowered to the couch and her hands clawed at it, as if trying somehow to feel her beloved best friend. Not sure if he could continue standing, Philip made his way shakily over to the couch and slumped miserably down into it, resting his head in his hands as he also gave way to the sobs that he tried to hold in.

"No...no..." The sounds of Monica's pleading echoed through the room, and she let loose on another strangled cry filled with anger, horror and sadness far beyond she had ever felt,

"No, Father! How could You do this...How could you DO this?!"

Upon hearing the words coming from Monica's mouth, Tess on other circumstances would have lectured her Angel Girl, but now, all she could feel in her heart were the exact same questions and the supervisor angel only hugged Rose tighter as the two let loose on more tears.

"I don't understand, Carla…." Kevin uttered, Monica's cries tearing through him as his tears came harder.

"I don't either," She whispered tearfully in return as she buried her head against his shoulder,

"I don't either…"

"I don't accept this!" Monica cried out through angry tears,

"Do you hear me, Father!? I don't accept this! This was wrong! This was WRONG!" Rising to her feet, she stumbled blindly to the front door and flung it open, the anger and grief inside of her unbearable,

"I'll never forgive You for this! Never!" She screamed up to the sky,

"You're supposed to love us! You're supposed to take care of us! How could You do this?! Answer me! Answer me!" Her legs giving out from underneath her, she fell to the ground, sobbing brokenly as she cried out Andrew's name again and again.

Managing to rise to his feet as he listened to Monica's angry words to the Father, Philip blindly headed shakily over to where she was sobbing in the doorway, pounding her fists on the floor and knelt down next to her, his voice choked up,

"Monica..." He tried to lay a hand on her shoulder, but the furious, heart-broken Irish angel shoved him away.

"Get away from me," She wailed, turning her angry eyes to the sky and screamed again,

"I hate You, Father...do You hear me? I HATE You! I don't care if You supposedly still love us, I hate You, and I'm never going to forgive You for the rest of my existence!" Shoving Philip's hand away, the sobbing angel ran as fast as her legs could carry her up the stairs and the next thing they heard was the sound of the bedroom door slamming shut.

Biting his lip, Philip shut the front door behind him, but instead of returning to the living room, the angel leaned his back against the shut door and slumped down to the ground, the tears now coming harder. Noticing this, Tess released Rose as Carla and Kevin came over to her, grabbing the Search and Rescue angel into their arms, and the supervisor walked on shaking legs to Philip. Her heart now totally shattered at what had just happened, the older angel knelt down in front of her charge and didn't say a word as she hugged him tightly to herself.

Finally as Tess slowly pull both she and Philip to their feet, she felt Rose, Carla and Kevin gather around them as the five angels held tightly to one another in their deepest hour of grief

*****

Several hours later, Rose looked up through swollen blue eyes, from where she sat on the couch holding a long cold cup of tea in her hands. Tess was just coming downstairs, wiping at tears as she did so and the older angel waited until she had sat down wearily next to her before speaking,
”How is she?” She whispered, her voice hoarse from hours of crying.

“I’m not even sure she knew I was there, Rose,” Tess replied shakily, running a hand over her face as she drew in a shuddering breath,
”She’s lying on his bed, holding onto that angel bear, just staring at the wall…she didn’t even acknowledge anything I said, not that I really knew what to say as I don’t understand any of this. One minute we’re enjoying this beautiful spring day and the next minute….” Feeling tears slide down her face, she shook her head as she looked over at Rose,
”Her eyes are empty, Rose and that scares me.”

“They were each other’s entire world, Tess,” Rose whispered, her voice laden with grief,
”I’ve never met two angels more connected with each other then they were,” Lowering her head to her hands,
”There has to be more to this than we are understanding, Tess, right? Certainly this cannot be permanent?”

“I wish I knew, baby,” Tess uttered through tears, not wanting to voice how permanent it felt when Andrew had been led away and his human form had vanished.

"It can't be permanent, it just can't," Rose shook her head in misery as she never lifted her head from her hands,

"Just the thought of never seeing that Angel Boy again...I can't imagine it, Tess..."

Wrapping a trembling arm around the Search and Rescue angel's shoulders, Tess nodded her head in agreement as she drew in a shaky breath,

"I know...I know..."

"How's Kevin...?" Rose continued, lifting her tear-streaked face to meet Tess' eyes,

"How's he doing?"

Rubbing at her dark eyes which were filled with so much grief and agony, Tess shook her tousled head,

"Carla is with him right now; that angel hasn't come out of his room all day, not since..." The supervisor stopped in mid-sentance and lowered her head,

"Last I saw, he was clinging tightly to Carla sobbing his little angel heart out. He's broken-hearted, Rose, just like the rest of us are..."

"I just want someone to explain it to me, Tess," She whispered sadly,

"I want someone to tell me why this had to happen and if he is coming back-."

"I look for Sam to stop in eventually, not that I think he is going to know anything more than we do," Tess replied tearfully,

"I just want something to make me feel a little bit better about this; to make us all feel a little better about this, especially Monica and Kevin. They've all worked together for so long and I don't know what to do for them…." She wiped at tears once more,

"Carla is with Kevin and I hate the fact that other baby is up there alone…"

"I'll try to talk to her, Tess," Rose offered shakily,

"At the very least let her know we are all here for each other. It was always Andrew she went to and now…."

The Search and Rescue angel's voice broke on another sob and Tess reached for her friend one more time to pull her close to her,

"I know, baby...my heart is broken too..."

"Oh Tess, I miss that Angel Boy so much..." The eldest angel whispered in agony as she rested her head on Tess' shoulder.

"So do I, baby," She replied, closing her eyes as more tears fell from them,

"So do I."

*****

"Why, Carla? Why?" Kevin repeated those words for the millionth time as the tears never ceased to end,

"Why did this have to happen?" Not expecting an answer from his friend, the youngest angel just buried his face deeper into Carla's shoulder.

"I wish I knew, Kevin, really I do," Carla uttered in return, tears streaming from her own eyes as she rocked him gently in her arms,

"But I don't…I just don't…"

"I'm trying to trust the Father…I am, as He's always had a reason for everything…even the things I didn't understand at the time…but this…this doesn't make any sense. He was there one minute, getting ready to cross the road…and then that truck came out of nowhere…"

"I know," The blond angel whispered, having heard the story over and over again as she had tried to make sense of it to no avail,

"But we have to keep trying to trust Him, Kevin, because if we don't…" Her words went unspoken, knowing that to quit trusting God was to give up all hope.

"How could He allow that to happen to him, C-Carla?" Kevin whispered in agony, never releasing his hold on her,

"He could've stopped it...He could've stopped it..."

Not sure what else to say, as she was as confused and hurt as everyone else was, the little blond angel just lowered her head onto Kevin's shoulder and continued rocking him,

"I know..." She uttered through her own tears.

"We never...we never got a chance to say good-bye to him...the Father didn't allow it, and He could've stopped it all from happening," The youngest angel sobbed,

"We...we may never see him again, and I never got a chance to thank him, or tell him how much I appreciate and loved him. The Father just snatched him away, Carla..."

"He knew how much you loved him, Kevin, you know he did. You showed him every single day you worked together, so don't you think for a minute that he doesn't know," Carla whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"But I wanted to be able to tell him one more time, in case…in case…" He shook his head unable to say the words.

"Don't give up on this, Kevin," She pleaded tearfully,

"This is all part of a plan; it has to be. There isn't any other answer that makes sense…"

"Well, it's a terrible plan then," He replied miserably.

"Kevin..."

"No, really, this is a horrible plan. What is the Father trying to say? That we need to take a break from Andrew for a while, and that we need to learn to be without him?" Kevin remarked sarcastically, his vision blurred by many tears as he lifted his head from Carla's shoulder,

"If that's it, then I'm going to have to agree with Monica and say...and say that's WRONG..."

"Kevin, we can't go blaming the Father for this," The little blond angel choked out, lifting a hand to wipe at her green eyes,

"That's not what we're supposed to do..."

"Then what are we supposed to do, Carla? Thank Him for taking one of my best friends away from me?" The youngest caseworker demanded miserably, his voice laced with more sadness then Carla had ever heard from him.

"Of course not, Kevin, but we have to trust Him-." Carla pleaded desperately.

"Well, I'm sorry, but I can't this time," Kevin uttered, pulling away and getting up from the bed,

"I just can't."

"Kevin!" Carla called after him, but the younger angel had already bolted out the bedroom door.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

As Rose opened the door to Andrew's bedroom, she struggled not to focus on anything other than the little Irish angel, unable to bear seeing any of her Angel Boy's personal earthly belongings at the moment. Her eyes coming to rest on Monica, she fought back tears, seeing her just as Tess had said; hallow brown eyes staring at the wall as she clutched the white bear that Andrew had given her so long ago.

Approaching her slowly, Rose sat down on the edge of the bed and gently moved to stroke the angel's auburn hair, relieved when she didn't pull away, though she didn't react in any way for that matter,

"I was worried about you, sweetheart, up here by yourself. We all need to be here for each other right now, honey," Still not getting a response, Rose sighed softly, feeling tears burning in her eyes,

"He loved you so much, little angel, just so very much…"

"I…I can't feel him, Rose…" The words were no more than a whisper as Monica's eyes never moved from the wall,

"I can't feel him…"

"I know, little angel; none of us can at the moment," The elderly angel choked out, closing her eyes to try and hold back another batch of hot tears,

"But we're all going to be here for each other however long this will last, and right now I want to be with you..."

"No words can comfort me right now, Rose..." The Irish angel replied, her voice so quiet that Rose could barely hear her,

"Nothing."

Drawing in a trembling breath as she took in the words the devistated Irish angel spoke to her, Rose lowered her head to the bed even has her hand continued to stroke Monica's hair,

"I know, sweetheart...we all feel that way; but we are going to need one another more then ever right now, and I'm so concerned about you in particular."

"I'm not going to need anyone ever again…" Monica whispered, as tears began to trail down her pale face,

"I don't want to love anyone ever again…I thought I was safe as an angel with God and Andrew…but I don't have either of them now…"

"The Father is always with all of us, sweetheart-."

"I don't want Him anymore…" She uttered through her tears,

"He did this…He took Andrew away…He isn't even Home, Rose, or I'd know it. I'd still be able to feel him and I can't…I can't…I'm done loving anyone because God can just tear them away whenever He wants to….so why should I? He doesn't love us, or He wouldn't have done this and I'm done loving Him too," Burying her face in the angel bear's soft fur, she broke down into sobs,

"I just want him back…Andy, Andy, please…"

Her heart breaking all over again at the younger angel's sobs, Rose drew in another trembling breath as she reached her hand out and attempted to pull Monica into her arms, but the angel violently pulled away,

"No. Just go away, Rose. Just go away...I don't want anyone...just Andy." Monica's voice broke off again as she spoke her dearest friend's name and she cradled the angel bear tightly in her arms, as if it was Andrew she was holding.

Knowing there was really nothing more she could do, Rose stood to her feeet and through blurred vision, looked around the room, her heart hurting like never before as she saw her sweet Angel Boy's belongings scattered everywhere. Picture frames were lined up on the dresser, most of them pictures of himself and Monica, and Andrew's leather jacket hung over the back of his chair. Making her way over to it, the Search and Rescue angel reached trembling hands towards it and lifted it to her cheek, holding onto it tightly in her arms. Her tear-filled blue eyes turning back to Monica, who wasn't even paying any attention to her anymore, Rose slowly headed back to the bed and placed their friend's jacket over top of her trembling shoulders as her other hand stroked back Monica's auburn hair once more.

At the feel of the soft leather that was now wrapped around her, a devastated cry escaped Monica’s lips as her trembling fingers grasped the sleeve and pulled it against her cheek. Feeling Rose’s hand stroking her hair only caused her to cry harder as she pleaded,
”Please…don’t do that, Rose….J-just go…please….”

“Sweetheart, please listen to me,” Rose whispered, tears now making their way down her face, her own pain over this now mixing with the raw agony the Irish angel felt. She so wanted to be here for her, not only because she loved her, but because she had been Andrew’s dearest friend and Rose knew he would want them to look after her,
”We’re all going to help each other through this, so don’t shut us out now. We all love you, little angel, the same way we all loved Andrew…”

“I-I think it’s safer…if I don’t love any of you back…then God won’t rip you from me…” She managed to say, the violent sobs engulfing her petite frame,
“Please, go…”

A small sob escaping her, Rose nodded her head as she bent down to kiss the Irish angel’s forehead lovingly,
”I’ll check on you later…” She managed to say as she stood up once more and headed towards the door.

Her hand on the knob, she turned around one last time, tears streaming down her face as she listened to Monica whisper in between sobs.

“Please, Andrew….please…come back…”

*****

Tess looked up moments later in time to see Kevin racing down the stairs, his face streaked with tears and she bit back a sob of her own when she heard the unmistakable voice of Carla calling after the youngest angel,

"Kevin, wait, please!"

Rising to her feet, the supervisor called out as well, her voice thick with emotion and tears, just as Carla's was,

"Baby, stop, please?" Noticing that he was ignoring her as he was about to hurry past her, Tess grasped onto his arm and tried to bring him to a hault.

"Tess, please...I just want to be alone right now," Kevin pleaded, his voice catching on another sob as his swollen brown eyes looked up into Tess' face,

"I don't want to hear anything more about the Father having a so-called plan; His plans are awful...and I'm sticking to that." Pulling his arm away from the angel and ignoring Carla's cries for him to come back, the youngest angel bolted from the living room and out the door.

Giving up completely now, Carla finally slumped down on the bottom step of the staircase and rested her head in her hands, giving into her own sobs, not even noticing at first that Tess had made her over to her and wrapped her arms around her trembling shoulders,

"I know, Angel Child..."

"I miss him, too, Tess...and I'm trying just so hard to believe that this happened for a reason, but I can't get past what Kevin is saying..." The little blonde angel wept miserably as she leaned her head against the supervisor's shoulder,

"Oh Andrew...Tess, why Andrew...?"

“We’d be asking ourselves that question, baby, if it were any of us,” Tess replied gently,
”We’re all in shock, Carla, and it makes it harder that none of us understand any of this and Kevin just needs a little time, or a lot of time, to come to terms with what happened. The Father hasn’t told us anything, including the fact that this is going to last forever, so it very well may not.”

“It feels so permanent,” Carla uttered sadly, shaking her head,
”And I want to help him, but I don’t know how to do that…”

“There seems to be a lot of that going around,” Rose replied, stifling another sob as she came down the stairs and the two angels rose to their feet as Carla wrapped her arms around her supervisor, just as Philip came out of the kitchen, his own eyes red from crying.

“She isn’t doing well, I take it?” Philip asked, having overheard what had happened with Kevin.

“Well, honey, none of us are doing well,” Rose replied tearfully as they all made their way into the living room and sat down,
”But it seems we have two little angels taking this particularly hard,” She wiped at her eyes and drew in a shuddering breath,
”She isn’t going to let anyone get close to her as she’s too afraid and I just keep thinking that Andrew would know what to say or do to help her, but…”

"But he's not here," Philip finished for her, lowering his swollen brown eyes to the ground as tears continued to fall from them,

"I would offer to go up there and try to talk to her, but I know that she won't listen to me any more then she listened to you, Rose, or Tess..."

Nodding her head as she continued holding tightly to Carla, Rose rested her cheek against the blond angel's head and drew in a trembling breath,

"She told me that she doesn't think she'll ever love anybody again...because the Father would only take them from her, like He took Andrew this morning..." Her voice choked up and she closed her blue eyes against more tears,

"I honestly don't think I'll be able to go into his room again...at least not any time soon...just looking at his personal belongings breaks my heart..."

Silence greeted the remaining angels following Rose's comment before Carla finally pulled away from the Search and Rescue angel and wiped at her eyes,

"I truely hope the Father doesn't expect us to return to work anytime soon; I for one am not ready...and Monica and Kevin..." She choked on a sob as she wiped at her green eyes that were identical to Andrew's,

"Who's going to be their new supervisor...?"

"I don't think we are ready to even consider that at the moment, honey," Rose replied shakily.

"And Kevin and Monica are in no shape to consider it if he is having a trust issue with the Father and Monica…well, she certainly can't go out spreading God's love when she doesn't believe it exists any longer."

Philip's eyes widened at these words,

"She said that?"

"Yes, she did and that she is through loving Him," Rose whispered, lowering her head.

"They need to get past this part of it," Tess replied, trying to focus on something else, anything else, other than the terrible ache in her heart over losing her Angel Boy this morning,

"The Father does love us and He always has a plan, even when we don't know what it is and if those two need a lecture to remember that, then so be it."

"Don't you dare!" Carla cried out, jumping to her feet to face the older angel with tears in her eyes,

"Kevin lost his friend and supervisor this morning, violently and without any warning or even an explanation at this point! Monica watched her best friend of over 100 years get ripped away from her; the angel she loved more than any other who she shared the most incredible relationship that I personally have ever seen in my existence! I feel betrayed and I'm not one of them and what they don't need right now is a lecture on how they feel! Their hearts are broken, just like yours is; like everyone's is! I know how much this is hurting me and I know that somehow, on some level, they feel worse! Andrew is gone and we don't know if or when he is coming back…" She choked on a sob as she forced herself to continue,

"But they are still here and they need our love and our support, not lectures telling them how they should be feeling! And if you do that to them, to either of them, I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive you!" A sob escaping her, the little blond angel turned away,

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on Monica, even if all she'll allow me to do is cry with her, and if Kevin isn't back by then, I'm going to look for him. He wanted some time alone and I'll give him that, but I'd rather no one be alone for too long right now."

Tears now streaming from her dark eyes, Tess rose to her feet and was about to reply but shut her mouth with a snap when Carla raced up the stairs and towards Monica's room. Her vision now blinded by the tears, the elderly angel glanced at the rest of her angelic friends and with a shake of her head, mumbled "Excuse me", before heading towards the front door and out to the front porch, shutting it firmly behind her.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Several minutes later, although she knew that Monica wasn't paying any attention to her or acknowledging her presence, Carla sat behind her former supervisor on Andrew's bed, her trembling arms wrapped around her shoulders and rocking her gently. Violent sobs racked through both younger angels as they rocked together on the made bed. When the little blond angel had come into Andrew's bedroom and saw Monica like Rose had explained earlier, hugging the angel bear to her chest and their friend's leather jacket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, Carla knew that she wouldn't be able to hold in her sobs for very long and ignoring the fact that her older friend may not want her there, she had collapsed next to Monica on the bed and hugged her tightly, pressing her tear-streaked cheek into her shoulder.

"Just cry, Monica..." She finally whispered through her tears as she continued holding onto the Irish angel,

"Just cry..."

At the words from her former charge, Monica's sobs became violent once more; no longer having the strength to order the younger angel away from her. Minutes ticked by and even after Carla had managed to bring her tears under control, the older angel continued to weep as if her heart were breaking and Carla knew that it was. The younger angel remained silent, not offering any promises that it would all be okay as none of them knew if that would be the case and empty promises were not what Monica needed right now.

Thirty minutes later, the Irish angel's sobs had lessened, if only out of fatigue, as she finally tried to speak, her voice hoarse from so many tears over the last several hours, and scarcely a whisper,

"I can't do this, Carla…I'm not strong enough to ever be without him…I love him so much…more than I ever thought it possible to love someone other than the Father…I just want someone to tell me how to do this…I want him here…I want him here…"

"I know," Carla whispered tearfully, closing her eyes,

"Oh Monica, if I had a way to bring him back here for you, I'd do it in a heartbeat, even if it meant I couldn't see him again, I would do it for you."

"I didn't even get to hug him today when he got back…I was trying to get to him…if only I could have hugged him one more time," New realities began to seep in, plunging the little Irish angel deeper and deeper into despair,

"…I'm never going to feel his arms around me again, or hear his voice or hear him call me any of the things he used to call me…" Her entire body trembled as tears still continued to course down her face,

"Just one more time…please, just one more time…"

"I know, Mon'...I know..." Carla wept along with her friend as she continued rocking her gently.

"P-Please don't call me 'Mon' anymore, C-Carla..." The sobbing angel pleaded, tightening her hold on Andrew's jacket as she pressed her tear-stained face into it,

"Andy always...he always..."

Shutting her mouth with a snap, Carla rested her cheek against Monica's hair instead and nodded her head miserably,

"I'm sorry..."

"I don't want p-people to be sorry, Carla...I just want Andy back...How could God do such a thing? I hate Him Carla, I hate Him..." The Irish angel lowered her tear-streaked face once more into the angel bears soft fur and this was enough to cause Carla to finally release her friend from her tight hold.

“Honey, why don’t you at least try to sleep for awhile?” Carla suggested softly, seeing how her friend looked as if she could collapse at any moment. Not getting an argument as Monica was far too drained to protest, the younger angel gently helped her to lie back and before she covered her with the blanket, she went to move the leather jacket, but Monica grabbed hold of it tightly.

“L-leave it, Carla…please?” She whimpered softly, unable to stop shaking.

“Of course,” Carla whispered tearfully, as she drew the blanket up over her shivering friend,

”Just try to rest, honey,” Reaching out, she rubbed her friend’s arm gently, watching as Monica began to lose the battle to keep her swollen eyes open. Relieved that her friend might be able to lose her pain in sleep for at least a few hours, Carla walked quietly to the door and opened it, watching as Molly bolted in the door and leaped up on the bed with soft “meow” as she nuzzled her face against Monica’s.

“Molly…” Monica uttered tearfully, reaching a trembling hand out to pet the cat who had been a gift from Andrew.

Tears once more stinging her eyes, Carla quietly backed out of the room and shut the door behind her. Leaning up against it, she slid down to the floor and buried her face in her hands, giving way to the tears over what could be eternal separation for the two best friends.

*****

Tess still sat on the front porch swing many hours later, even after the sun had set and a few of her friends apparently had tried to catch at least a few winks of sleep for the night. But Tess was unable to catch any sleep; not after what she had seen happen to her beloved Angel Boy whom she loved with all of her heart. Although earlier she may had sounded like she didn't seem to care, and the only thing on her mind was getting Monica and Kevin to trust the Father again, the elderly angel was more heart-broken then she would let on.

Burying her face deep into her hands and letting out a sob sob, the angel shook her head as she remembered earlier that day, when that truck had struck one of her dearest friends, leaving him lifeless in the middle of the road. And then seeing Adam and Henry appearing in the cabin...the words that were spoken between all of them, Monica included, left her with a feeling she would never forget.

"Oh my sweet Angel Boy..." She uttered tearfully to herself,

"We're so sorry, baby...we just miss you so very much..." Knowing deep down inside that her young friend most likely wouldn't be able to hear her, as Monica's connection with him was gone anyways, Tess continued speaking anyways,

"I-I hope that this isn't forever, Angel Boy...because we don't know what we're going to do if it is..." Lowering her head again, she rested her forehead into her hands, allowing more tears to make their way down her pale face.

"Tess."

Hearing the voice of her own dearest friend, the angel jerked her head up and looked up through blurred vision,

"Sam." She uttered softly, her voice catching in a sob.

Sitting down next to her, Sam wasted no time in wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she began to cry,

"I know, my dear friend," He responded quietly and with his gentle strength. Though he too was grieved over what had happened, he had managed to get some of it out of his system earlier in order to be able to help his friends here at the cabin, knowing how lost they all were.

"Why did this happen?" Tess asked through her tears as she leaned heavily into him.

"I come here with no answers, Tess, only to try to be there for you and the others. I wish I could offer you more, but this is all I have." He told her honestly.

"He was my Angel Boy, Sam...he IS my Angel Boy," She corrected herself in between sobs as she never lifted her head from her friend's shoulder,

"What are we going to do without him, Sam? How long is this going to last...?"

"I wish I could answer those questions for you, Tess, but all I can is that I don't know," Sam shook his head sadly as he rested his cheek against his former charge's and best friend's head,

"Nobody knows except for the Father..."

"Monica says that she hates the Father now, and I hate to say it, but I can understand why," Tess choked out in reply, lifting a trembling hand to wipe at her eyes,

"My heart is beyond broken, Sam, and until I have some answers, it'll never be repaired...Kevin is beyond devastated, and Monica...that little angel won't leave Andrew's room; she keeps repeating his name over and over again, as if by magic he'll appear before her again..."

Wrapping his other arm around her shoulders tightly, Sam held onto her as a few tears escaped his dark eyes that were usually so stern,

"I heard about that, my friend."

"I don't know how to help them, Sam. Kevin has shut himself off and Monica is so lost, angry and afraid…" She shook her head in misery as she tried to stop the tears.

"I plan on checking on her while I'm here," Sam said quietly, wishing so much he had more he could tell them,

"I watched that friendship grow and mature, the same way you did, Tess."

She was quiet for a moment, remembering something,

"Rose told me earlier that Monica said Andrew wasn't at Home as she couldn't feel him. Is that true?"

"It is, Tess. No one knows what is going on right now or knows what happened after Adam and Henry took Andrew Home."

"I don't understand this, Sam," She whispered tears threatening once more.

"I know you don't; neither do I," The Angel's Angel replied sadly with a deep sigh,

"If I knew exactly where Andrew was right now, I'd tell you..."

"Why would the Father not allow him Home?" Tess continued, lifting a hand once more to wipe at the wetness in her eyes.

"I'm not God, Tess, so I don't know," He replied,

"But you know to trust Him in this, don't you?"

Silence filled the cool night air as Tess contemplated the question and finally she lifted her head, her dark, tear-filled eyes not meeting her best friend's,

"I know I'm supposed to, but my heart is just broken right now that I don't understand how I can trust the Father at the moment. Not after this...I know-I know that I spoke some words back in there about trusting Him in everything, and giving a lecture to Monica and Kevin...but right now..." She stopped with a miserable shake of her head.

"Then you need to talk to the Father and ask Him to help you, Tess," Sam said gently, looking into her eyes,

"It is extremely important right now that you and Rose especially do the best you can with this. You've both been around a long time and have seen many things that don't make sense, though maybe none of them as personal as this feels. But the Father has always made sense out of them eventually and you have to trust that he will this time too."

"I'm trying, Sam but-." Before she could say anymore, a scream pierced through them as they both jumped to their feet. Tears filled Tess's eyes as she heard Monica then scream out Andrew's name and she knew the little angel was in the midst of a nightmare,

"Please someone help her…" Tess uttered through her tears.

"I'll go," Sam replied gently, giving Tess's hand a squeeze as he entered the cabin.

Looking up at the star lit sky, Tess whispered aloud,

"Father, please help this old angel if not to understand, then to at least be able to trust that You do."

*****

By the time Sam had finally reached Andrew's room where Monica was screaming from, the Angel's Angel nearly collided with Rose and as the two elderly angels exchanged a brief look with one another, they hurried into the bedroom in time to see Monica sitting up in the bed, sweat pouring from her forehead as she kept screaming out Andrew's name again and again.

Noticing full well that she was still in the nightmare, Sam made his way over to the sobbing Irish angel and gently tried to grasp onto her shoulders, but Monica wrestled away violently as she continued screaming,

"Andrew! Andrew, please!"

"Little angel, wake up, please?" Rose tried to calm her down even though her own voice was choked up. She hadn't been able to sleep either, and just as she thought she would be able to start to drift off, the sound of Monica's scream jerked her completely awake once more.

Noticing how Monica didn't even appear to hear Rose, Sam reached over once more and drew the young angel into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, even as she struggled and cried out Andrew's name, until the fight finally left her exhausted body and her screams were reduced to tearful whimpers and she finally fell back to sleep, still in Sam's arms.

"Thank you, Sam," Rose uttered weakly, looking at the Irish angel as she trembled in her sleep,

"I'm afraid it may be a long night."

He nodded his head as he carefully returned the angel to her pillow and covered her with the blanket once more, before in a moment of tenderness, he stroked back Monica's sweat dampened hair from her face. Though worried about all of his friends at the moment, his mind was drawn back to the time he had been forced to take Monica Home for a year due to trauma and that time didn't hold a candle to what had happened today,

"I'm here to help you all, Rose, any way that I can."

Attempting a tiny smile, it soon faded from Rose's lips and replaced by more tears,

"We appreciate it, Sam...after today..."

With his left hand, Sam rested it comfortingly on the Search and Rescue angel's slumped shoulder,

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Rose. I know. And I'm not going to be leaving here for a while, no matter how long it will take."

"Do you know how long this will last, Sam?" Rose whispered in misery, wiping at her crystal blue eyes with a shaking hand,

"Do you have any idea when...or it...we'll see him again...?"

Lowering his eyes down to Monica, who was whimpering in her sleep and on occasion, whispered out Andrew's name, Sam sighed heavily before replying to the slightly younger angel,

"I wish I did; but I don't. Nobody does. We're all just going to have to wait it out and see what happens, I'm afraid."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

"I didn't know you drank coffee, Rose," Tess asked softly, late the next morning as she walked into the kitchen and found her friend pouring herself a cup.

"I do this morning," The older angel replied wearily, seeing her friend nod in understanding, as after Monica had four more nightmares last night, despite the fact that Sam stayed by her bed all night, the older angels didn't feel as if they had any sleep at all, though Rose wasn't sure she would have slept anyway,

"So where is everyone?"

"Kevin and Carla are out back talking, Philip went for a walk and Monica is still asleep, thankfully. Sam should be back here any time now with the Sullivan's…" She sighed heavily as she shook her head,

"I know they need to know, but I'm not sure…"

"I know," Rose replied, knowing what she was thinking,

"Yesterday, the horrible impact of it all and today we go through those first few terrible emotions with them. Not that I feel any better today then I did yesterday, it just…." She tried to explain it, having never gone through grief like this and wondering how humans did it so often in their lifetimes,

"Doesn't seem so close to the surface today…it's deeper, if that makes any sense."

"A bit like a numbness," Tess added, sinking down into a chair,

"Today it doesn't seem real and I keep waiting for Andrew to walk through the front door. The Sullivan's are going to take this hard."

"Especially Cindy and Wendy," Rose replied, setting her cup down as her stomach churned at just the thought of having to tell the two teenagers and their mother,

"Those two just adored Andrew...and young Angel; she's already been through so much, with the adoption and all that...how in the world are we going to explain this to them?"

Leaning back in her chair, Tess looked up at the ceiling and replied simply,

"I don't know."

An uncomfortable silence filled the kitchen for a few minutes before the sound of the front door opening caused both angel's heads to turn and the sound of Sam's voice and the Sullivan's filled the air. Exchanging a look with Tess, Rose blinked back tears as she stood up from the table and headed quietly towards the door,

"Here goes nothing, I suppose..."

Brady and Cindy looked up as even more concern flooded their eyes as Rose and Tess came out of the kitchen. Sam hadn't told them anything, only to come to the cabin, but one look at the two female angels told them this news wasn't good and it added to their concern that neither Andrew nor Monica was anywhere to be seen.

Cindy's blue eyes moved from one to the other as she felt Wendy and Angel's unease as they stood between she and Brady,

"Tess, Rose….what is going on?"

"I think you babies should all have a seat," Tess replied shakily as she ushered them over to the living room where they could all sit down.

"Where are Andrew and Monica?" Wendy asked suspiciously, exchanging a worried look with her twin sister.

"That's what we wanted to talk to you about," Rose began, trying to summon up some strength,

"Yesterday…yesterday…"

Noticing the tears that had sprung to the Search and Rescue angel's eyes, Tess wasted no time in wrapping an arm around her and drawing her close to her,

"What she's trying to say is...yesterday, something horrible happened that may have forever changed our lives for the worse..."

Feeling her face paling slightly, Wendy moved to take a seat on Rose's other side and whispered shakily,

"What happened, Tess? Please, just tell me..."

"Andrew..." Tess continued, her vision blurring up all over again,

"Andrew was involved in a hit and run accident yesterday morning when he returned from an assignment. He-he had just arrived back to the cabin and was getting ready to cross the street when...when..." Her voice broke off on a sob as she held tighter to Rose.

Deciding it was best to take over for his two friends, Sam looked at each of the Sullivan's,

"None of us thought that angels could die, my friends; we always believed that they couldn't for years, but I hate to say that yesterday proved us wrong."

A cry escaped Wendy as Angel's eyes widened in horror at what she had just heard,

"W-What?"

"He was taken Home, well at least we thought he was going Home, by two Angel's of Death yesterday morning," Sam explained gently, watching as Wendy burst into tears and Cindy and Brady paled considerably,

"We don't know where he is right now or what the Father's plan is at the moment."

"So what, he just no longer exists?" Cindy uttered weakly, tears already beginning to trail down her face at what Sam was saying.

"We don't know, sweetheart," Rose managed to say, wrapping an arm around Wendy as she sobbed brokenly.

Brady's heart pounded in his chest as he felt tears sting his eyes over what they had just been told, though only one question filled his mind at the moment,

"Where is Monica?" He asked hoarsely, his voice holding urgency. At the loss of the angel he had always loved and viewed as a brother, in this moment knowing he had somehow died, all he could think about was the best friend he had left behind. The relationship between the two angels his family was closest to had always left him in awe and now…

"She hasn't come out of his room since it happened-." Tess began, but Brady was already on his feet and taking the steps two at a time.

"He's coming back, right?" Wendy sobbed, as Angel flew into her mother's arms and softly wept,

"Please tell me he is coming back!"

"None of us know that, honey," Rose whispered miserably as she held the teenager tightly to her,

"The Father hasn't told any of if or when our Angel Boy is coming back-"

"He can't do this!" Wendy burst out, her tears never ending,

"God can't do this...He has to send Andrew back! He can't...He can't..."

Tears burning in her blue eyes, Cindy held tightly to Angelica as her daughter sobbed like she had never sobbed before,

"Why did this have to happen to such a sweet angel...why would God allow it to happen at ALL...?"

Exchanging a sad look with Tess, Sam knelt down in front of mother and daughter and laid a hand on Cindy's shoulder,

"When we find out the answer, you'll be the first ones to know."

"Andrew..." Wendy continued sobbing against Rose's shoulder, her heart now broken at the realization that she may never see her angelic friend again,

"Andrew..."

"I know, honey, I know," Rose whispered to the teenager, trying to be strong for the sake of the two younger girls in the room,

"But we have to keep telling ourselves that the Father has a plan for Andrew, even if we don't know what it is and believe me, I know how hard it is to believe that, but we have to."

"I…I don't know if…I can…" Angel whimpered miserably,

"It doesn't make any sense!"

"It doesn't to us either, baby," Tess replied tearfully, once more wishing she knew something magical to say to help,

"But I suppose that right now, it isn't supposed to make sense to us…"

"This won't be...forever...will it?" Wendy miserably choked out, her face still pressed against Rose's shoulder blade,

"It can't be forever...I have to see him again..."

"We're all hoping and praying that it's not forever, Wendy," Sam answered, letting out a heavy sigh,

"If not, it could last a few years...none of us know..."

With those words, there was silence in the living room except for the sobs coming from the two teenagers and Cindy. As she continued to hold tightly to Wendy, Rose lifted her tear-filled eyes to the ceiling and lifted up a silent, heart-felt prayer that this wouldn't last for several years, much less forever.

*****

Coming to the first closed door on the second floor of the cabin, Brady had a feeling that this was Andrew's room and the little Irish angel was behind it. Wiping at his dark eyes with the back of his hand, he put his hand on the doorknob and slowly pushed it open. The morning sunlight was shining through the curtains and the human could make out Monica's sleeping form, curled up on Andrew's bed, his black leather jacket wrapped tightly around her shoulders and Brady could instantly tell that she was dreaming about something.

Hearing her whimper softly, the human took a seat on the side of the bed and gently reached out to touch her tear streaked face with his hand,
”Monica?” He whispered softly, watching as her swollen dark eyes opened slowly and he drew in a sharp breath at the amount of pain he could see in them.

“Brady…” Monica uttered weakly as she tried to sit up and she immediately found herself caught up in his strong embrace as she began to cry softly. She didn’t pull away; she knew the score with Brady…he was human, he could die, where angels weren’t supposed to…her best friend wasn’t supposed to have died before her eyes leaving her more alone than she had ever felt before.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” He uttered tearfully, as he held her as tightly as he dared.

“It…hurts, Brady….my heart hurts so badly….I don’t know what to do…” She whispered through her tears,
”I miss him so much and….I just want him back…”

“I know,” He replied, kissing the top of her head, as he tried to think of what he could do to help in any way. He owed it to both she and Andrew as they had always been there for he and his family,
”Little angel, come back with us for awhile, okay? You need to get away from here for a bit and you know we’ll take good care of you for Andrew.”

"I-I don't know I c-can...this is all we have left of A-Andrew..." She choked on a sob as she buried her face deep into Brady's shoulder,

"I don't know..."

The tears burning in his own eyes, Brady drew in a sharp breath before replying gently,

"You can take here whatever you want to take, little angel; anything at all." As he spoke, he felt a furry body rub up against him and Monica and as he released the angel from his hold, he saw Molly looking up at him and the Irish angel, a soft "meow" escaping her as she kneeded dow on the bedspread.

Choking on a sob, Monica lifted the tiny kitten into her arms and pressed her cheek against her soft fur,

"I-I can take M-Molly, right...? Andrew gave her to me...please, let me take her..."

The tears now spilling down his cheeks, Brady bit his lip as he nodded his head,

"Of course you can take your cat, sweetheart." He watched as the small kitten climbed into the leather jacket that was still wrapped around Monica's shuddering form and curled up in the angel's arms as she wept,

"Take as much time as you need, little angel; I'll be downstairs letting everyone know, all right?"

Not trusting herself to speak, Monica numbly nodded her head and she didn't lift her tortured brown eyes until she felt Brady rise from the bed and heard the bedroom door shut behind him. As he left, Monica let out another sob as she held the little ball of fur close to her as tightly as she dared, the tears trailing down her cheeks and into the kitten's fur. Several long moments passed before the Irish angel finally felt Molly leap off of her lap and back onto the bed and as she reluctantly released her, Monica then tightened Andrew's leather jacket around her trembling shoulders.

Although she felt like she was going to collapse, the little angel climbed off of the bed and looked around the bedroom, tears once more flooding her dark eyes as everything she saw reminded her Andrew. From the broken mirror that he had smashed so many years ago to the picture frames on top of his dresser.

Somehow her hands found Andrew’s backpack, which was lying in the corner of the room, and she placed it on the bed. She knew she needed some things from her own room, but for now…

She carefully and through tear-filled eyes selected her favorite picture of the two of them. Andrew was standing right behind her with his arms wrapped securely around her waist as she leaned into him, his chin resting on top of her head as they smiled into the camera. Looking closer, she could see the love in his green eyes as with a trembling finger, she traced the outline of his face,
”I love you so much,” Monica whispered, tears continuing to fall from her swollen and tired eyes before she closed them,
”If you can hear me at all….I love you so much…and I miss you…it’s unbearable, Andy…everything is wrong without you…” Crying openly once more, she placed the picture in the backpack, along with the angel bear, before taking the green plaid shirt she had given him for Christmas two years ago from his closet and also putting it in the bag, just needing things with her to make her feel close to him, before she retrieved what she needed from her own room.

Zipping the backpack closed, she then put on the leather jacket, which while too big for her smaller frame, at least made her feel a little warmer in knowing it was Andrew’s. Shakily swinging the backpack over her shoulder, she then scooped up Molly in her arms and held her close as she looked around her best friend’s room as the tears fell, not realizing how hard it would be to leave.

Drawing in one last shuddering breath, Monica finally turned around and walked shakily down the stairs for the first time since Andrew had been ripped from her.

Several heads looked up as the angel made her way down the stairs, the tiny kitten in her arms and Andrew's jacket wrapped securely around her trembling form. Not bothering to meet any of her friend's eyes, the Irish angel made her way over to Brady and instantly felt his arm wrap tightly around her.

Her vision blurred by tears, Monica slowly looked up as she heard Angel speak to her, her voice choked with emotion and tears,

"Monica...we're so, so sorry..."

Not wanting to hear others telling her how sorry they were at the moment, Monica turned devestated eyes up to Brady and shakily whispered,

"I-I'll be in the car..." Pulling away from his arm, the Irish angel finally looked over at each of her fellow angels, including Philip, Carla and Kevin who had returned to the cabin while she was up in Andrew's room, Monica then lowered it in despair as she headed for the door as quickly as possible.

Carla watched through her own tears and before she could say anything, her former supervisor and friend had closed the cabin door behind her. Turning sorrowful green eyes to Brady and Cindy, she whispered shakily,

"Take care of her for us, all right?"

"You know we will, Carla," Cindy replied, wiping at her eyes, as she began hugging her angelic friends good-bye,

"And if any of you need anything, please let us know…"

"Brady," Philip spoke up from where he stood at the front window,

"You might want to get outside…the accident happened right out here on the road and…" He sighed, wishing he could go to the Irish angel who was standing by the road, the kitten still in her arms as he saw her shoulders heaving with sobs.

"I'm there, buddy," Brady responded, his voice full of emotion as he headed for the door,

"Cindy, whenever you're ready, princess, but take your time."

Hugging Wendy close to her, Rose said softly,

"Hold onto your faith, honey…it's all any of us have right now."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Monica continued staring down at the road in the spot where she had seen her best friend get struck by the large truck only yesterday and with a choked up sob, she hugged Molly closer to her even as she felt the kitten curl up in Andrew's leather jacket again,

"Andy...Andy..." She miserably sobbed, not paying any attention to anything around her even as Brady hurried towards her, his dark eyes filled with grief and tears of his own.

Laying a hopefully comforting hand on her shoulder as she wept, Brady whispered sadly,

"Little angel..."

"This was where...this was where that m-monster killed him," Monica forced the words out as her dark eyes never left the road and for the first time, she noticed that Andrew's car was still parked across the street, just like before,

"He...he was just getting out of his car, B-Brady when...when..."

"I know, sweetheart," He whispered softly to her, watching with increasing sadness as she pulled away from him slowly and crossed the street as if she were in a trance.

Tears spilling over, Monica ran her hand along Andrew's car, thinking about all the times they had traveled together in the vehicle and how he would wrap his arm around her shoulders when she would sleepily lean into him as he drove. Before she could turn away, her eye caught something lying on the passenger's seat and she shakily walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door.

Picking up the small package and card, her heart ached like never before as she saw her name written across the card. She ran her finger over the familiar handwriting as a sob escaped her before she tore open the envelope and read the words he had written,

"Angel Girl,

Just wanted to remind you of how much I love you and how much I miss you when assignments take us in different directions. Thank you for being my favorite blessing from the Father.

All my love,

Andrew"

Resting her forehead against the top of the car, she let out a cry that had Brady beside her in an instant as he looked tearfully at what she had in her hand. His heart ached for her pain and he was afraid she was going to soon collapse from grief and exhaustion.

Raising her head wearily, she opened the small box and found a heart in two different pieces, one meant for her and one for him, but for now the two pieces laid side by side and the inscription when they were together read "May the Lord watch between me and thee while we are absent one from another."

Feeling like her own heart was being ripped from her human body, Monica pressed the card and the small box to her chest as more sobs escaped her,

"Andrew..."

Gently taking Molly from the Irish angel's trembling arms, Brady held the small kitten to him and stroked her mane of gray hair, his dark eyes filling with hot tears as he watched the little angel lean her head against the hood of the car once again and sob brokenly against it. With his right hand, the human reached and gently rubbed her back, but this only caused the angel's sobs to worsen,

"I-It was just yesterday...just yesterday..." Lifting a trembling hand to wipe at her eyes, she turned them to Brady,

"If I had just been able to make it to him...and hug him...maybe this could have been avoided..." Before Brady could reply, Monica continued,

"The Father could have stopped it if He had wanted to. But no, He couldn't interfere with free will..."

"Little angel, this isn't-"

"Well, He interfered during that time in the hotel explosion," She sobbed brokenly, her voice now filled with anger,

"He may had been seriously injured during that time, but he survived then, Brady! He survived! But God couldn't interfere this time? He couldn't save my best friend's life?"

"I wish I had answers for you, Monica, I do," Brady said softly,

"I don't know why God did this or what He has planned."

"I hate Him, Brady….so much…." She choked out brokenly.

Though Tess and Rose had warned him of this, to hear her say the words still chilled his heart, but he also knew she wasn't in her right mind at the moment. She was hurting more than he could even imagine and his goal for now was to get her home, get her comfortable and give her something to allow her to sleep for at least the next 8 hours.

Glancing up and seeing Cindy and the girls at the door, he turned back to the anguished angel,

"Lets go home, little angel, okay?" He said gently as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders to support her.

"Molly?" She whimpered, suddenly confused that the kitten was no longer in her arms.

"She's right here, honey," Carefully, he handed the kitten back to her, watching as she held her tightly against herself as Brady led her to the car.

Seeing Cindy look at him with questions in her blue eyes, he shook his head sadly as his wife hugged the little angel tightly for a moment and whispered to her,

"C'mon, sis. Lets go home."

*****

Closing the door behind her after the Sullivan's had left, Rose leaned her head up against the hard wooden door and choked back a soft sob,

"Well, that's that," She spoke softly before turning around just in time to see Kevin bolt up the staircase once more with Carla right behind him,

"I didn't expect that little angel to leave with them, but...I think I can slightly understand why she did it..."

Sinking down onto the sofa next to Philip and reaching for his hand, Tess' eyes stung with tears as she faced the eldest angel,

"She didn't even acknowledge us, baby, so I kind of expected it."

Making her way back into the living room and taking a seat on the stool in front of the fireplace, Rose stared at the flames in silence before she spoke up again, her voice earily quiet,

"It's so silent around here now...what are we going to do?"

"It seems strange, doesn't it? Usually I hear Andrew, Monica and Kevin carrying on and laughing when we are all here. They always kept us entertained and now I'm not so sure anything will ever even come close to that again." Tess sighed wearily.

"Why do you think she left, Rose?" Philip whispered, not liking the fact that he was feeling the loss of two friends now, one of them maybe permanently.

"Two reasons, honey," Rose said softly as she met her reddened eyes with his,

"She isn't trusting the Father now and she feels if He can take Andrew from her, He can take any of the rest of us. We've all gone through our existence thinking that angels couldn't die and now…" She drew in a shuddering breath,

"Now one has or at least it feels that way…I don't even know what to call this anymore to be honest. The reason is that Monica can't deal with her own grief right now, and so she has no idea how to deal with ours as well. She isn't being selfish, but those two were so close and so much a part of each other and she just doesn't know how to handle any of it; not a loss of this magnitude. None of us do, but it's still different. You remember how heart broken Andrew was when she fell a few years ago and he believed he'd never see her again. We were all crushed, but nothing could touch his pain and this is the same thing."

Lowering his head sadly to his hands, Philip replied quietly,

"I know it's the same thing; but right now, it feels like I've lost both of them, one of them maybe permanently...and this doesn't settle well with my stomach in the least..."

"Nothing like this has ever happened before, baby," Tess sadly jumped in, her voice laced with complete despair,

"Everybody's handling this different ways, although we're all feeling the same pain over it. Kevin's practically blaming himself for not telling our Angel Boy that he loved him one last time, while Carla's trying to comfort him and be strong for all involved. The three of us seem to be in too much of a shock to understand why it has happened, while that Angel Girl..." She fell silent then, not sure of what to say anymore.

"What do you think we can do to figure out why all this has happened?" Philip spoke up once, breaking the silence in the room,

"I mean, besides praying that is; the Father sure isn't answering them at the moment..."

"Other than just waiting and trying to pick up the pieces enough to function, I don't know what more to do, honey," Rose replied with a sigh.

"This may sound stupid, but maybe we can make up something for lunch as I don't think anyone has eaten anything since yesterday morning before this happened," Philip offered softly,

"I know that no one may feel like eating, but at least it will be there and it might be a chance for all of us to be together and then after lunch, what if we have a group prayer?"

Tess gave her charge's hand a loving squeeze and managed a sad smile,

"That's the best idea I've heard today, baby."

*****

Once the Sullivan's and Monica had arrived back at the house, and the baby sitter who was taking care of Jason and Ashley was allowed to leave, the little Irish angel had bolted up the stairs and towards the room she always stayed at whenever she was there and shut the door behind her. Angelica watched this through tear-filled eyes and before she could say anything to her twin sister, Wendy had hurried up the stairs as well, sobs tearing through her and the next thing she heard was the sound of her sister knocking on Monica's door.

Turning to her parents and watching as her father slumped wearily down on the couch, his head lowering into his hands, Angel whispered,

"I can't believe any of this, mom..."

Pulling her daughter into her lap, Cindy stroked Angel's hair with trembling hands as she replied sadly,

"I know, baby girl...I know..." Exchanging a sad look with her husband, Cindy let out a shaky sigh as she continued holding tightly to her daughter.

From upstairs, Wendy listened to her sister and her mother speak to one another before turning back to the door she was knocking on. She knew that Monica needed someone to cry with at the moment, and the teenager felt as much grief inside of her over to loss of Andrew as the Irish angel did.

Not figuring she was going to get an answer, Wendy opened the door and slipped inside. Seeing Monica sitting on the bed, her hands covering her face as she cried, the teenager approached and sat down beside of her,

"M-Monica?"

Somehow finding the strength to face the teenager who the angel knew had loved Andrew so much, Monica wrapped her trembling arms around Wendy as the two cried together, holding tightly to each other.

"T-This hurts so much," Wendy uttered after a few minutes.

The little Irish angel nodded her head, trying to control the tears as her entire body ached from so many of them in the last 24 hours,

"More than pain I've ever felt before, Wendy," She whispered.

"I want him back too, Monica..." The teenager wept along with the angel as she clung tightly to her.

"I-I keep thinking he's going to walk through that door, Wendy; but he's not," Monica shook her head as she continued to try to gain control of her emotions, but even as she did that, fresh sobs escaped instead,

"I keep hoping that he'll be by my side when I wake up, but he's not; and I'm never going to forgive God for that. Ever."

Feeling shocked at the words that escaped from the angel's mouth, Wendy chose to not comment though, as she knew that wasn't what Monica needed at the moment,

"It...it feels so strange without him...it cannot be this way forever; there's no way God would allow that to happen..."

Pulling away from the teenager, Monica lifted Molly into her arms and held onto the cat as she let out tiny "meows", curling up in the angel's lap,

"I don't want to talk about God at all, Wendy."

"But, Monica…" Wendy uttered tearfully, feeling confused by one of the two angels who had always told her God was always with her and that He loved them, now refusing to discuss him.

"Wendy, I can't," She replied, her voice trembling,

"I've spent my whole existence telling people God loves them and I don't believe it anymore. If He loved us, He wouldn't have done this to Andrew."

"But…but maybe God needed him to do something else for a…little while…"

"He didn't have to do it like this!" Monica cried out, the image of Andrew being thrown through the air by the impact with the truck haunting her exhausted mind.

"Monica, please..."

"No, Wendy, you didn't see the truck hit him like I did!" Monica burst out, fresh tears welling up in her swollen eyes,

"You didn't see the way he was thrown into the air and then left behind like a rag doll! You weren't there when the driver just sped away like nothing had happened, leaving my best friend unconscious and about to die in the middle of the road! God could have caused him to have some injuries instead, but no, He had to have him die before I ever got the chance to hug him one last time!"

Openly sobbing once more at the words the Irish angel was speaking, Wendy opened her mouth to reply but no sound came out. With a shake of her head, the teenager ignored the tears on her pretty face as she leaped to her feet and ran out the door, shutting it loudly behind her.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

“I upset Wendy…I’m sorry…” Monica whispered shakily to Brady as the human sat down beside of her on the bed. At Cindy’s suggestion, she had changed into pajamas, though she still kept the leather jacket around her shoulders.

“Cindy’s with both girls right now, sweetheart,” Brady assured her as he wrapped his arm around her to pull her trembling form close,
”Do you need anything? Are you hungry?”

“No,” She uttered, closing her eyes in pain and exhaustion as she leaned her head against Brady’s shoulder,
”There’s only one thing I need and…God won’t let me have that…”

Hugging her tightly for a moment, Brady reached for the glass of juice he had brought up with him as well as a bottle of pills. Taking one out, he handed it to her,
”It will help you sleep, little angel,” He told her gently, knowing she was too wiped out to argue as he helped her trembling hands hold the glass as she took it,
”Sam told us about your nightmares last night and this should help.”

“My best friend is gone, Brady, and I’m thinking about sleeping…” She whispered sadly as tears trickled down her pale face.

“You need some rest,” He replied softly, fighting back tears for the two angels who were such an important part of his and his family’s lives,
”And if your best friend could be here, he would tell you that too, so I’m telling you for him, so lets get you tucked in,” Pulling down the comforter, he waited until she had laid down before he handed her the angel bear, which she drew to her chest with a small sob.

Brady gently smoothed back the angel's hair with a trembling hand and after he had given Monica a gentle kiss on the forehead, the human slowly backed out of the bedroom, shutting the light off but leaving the door halfway open. After he had disappeared down the hall, Monica curled herself up in a tight ball as she hugged the angel bear tightly to her chest, her sobs increasing.

It wasn't until 45 minutes later that she had finally cried herself into an exhausted sleep, and as she slept, dreams started to fill the Irish angel's mind. Dreams that seemed to be more of a reality then not.

"Angel Girl!" Andrew's voice filled the air and with a jerk of her head, Monica looked up in time to see her best friend waving at her from across the street. A smile spread across the younger angel's face as she leaped to her feet and started towards him.

"I never thought you would get here!" She cried with a smile, running as fast as she could towards with outstretched arms. The only thing separating the two smiling angels was the street and as Monica darted out into the road to embrace her best friend, a loud noise sounded in her ears just then. As she reached Andrew to wrap her arms tightly around him, the Irish angel's eyes widened in horror as he seemed to literally disappear from sight.

Looking wildly around her, Monica gasped loudly as she saw her best friend's broken, bloodied body in the middle of the road and before she knew it, an Angel of Death had appeared at his side, laying a hand on his shoulder and helping him to his feet. Tears instantly filled the anguished angel's brown eyes as she watched and before she knew it, the scream had escaped her throat.

"NO!"

Tossing and turning in her sleep, the drug keeping her from waking up, the little angel once again lost herself in a dream.

"You're here? You're really here?" Monica uttered through tears as she looked up at her best friend,

"I thought I had lost you forever…"

Andrew smiled, his green eyes shining with love for her,

"Come on now, little girl, you know better than that. We're going to be together for the rest of eternity, remember?"

"But God took you away from me, Andy…He took you away…" She whimpered softly, still unable to believe he was really here.

"Just for a little while, Mon," He replied, holding his arms out to her,

"I missed you so much, sweetheart."

Tears falling from her eyes, she moved towards his open arms, but stopped as she heard the sound of screeching brakes just before she reached him. Looking in the direction of the noise, she then looked back and saw that Andrew was gone…

A scream ripped through the Irish angel and as she sat up in bed and glanced at the clock, she noticed that several hours had indeed passed and the drug had apparently worn off by now. Breathing heavily, Monica lifted a hand to her pounding chest and glanced around the room, looking to see if her best friend was anywhere near her, but her sobs started all over again as she noticed that he was nowhere in sight.

"Monica, are you all right?" Cindy's frantic voice broke through her thoughts and the human switched on the bedroom light, making her way over to the trembling angel,

"I heard a scream, sweetie..."

Still breathing heavily as she tried to calm herself down, Monica turned her swollen eyes away from her earthly sister and whispered sarcastically,

"Oh I'm peachy, Cindy...just peachy..." Seeing the shocked look on Cindy's face, Monica lifted her hand and wiped at the tears streaming from her eyes,

"How do you expect me to feel, Cindy? I keep having nightmare after nightmare, and not even those drugs are helping..."

"Tell me what they are about, sweetie?" She asked, hoping that if maybe Monica could talk about the dreams, it would somehow help her.

Hearing Molly "mew" as she walked into her lap, the angel reached a shaky hand to pet her,

"They're all the same…Andrew is here and then before I can touch him, he's gone….just like he is now…just like now…" She lowered her head as tears fell from her eyes,

"Cindy…I feel like I'm dying inside…it feels like something has physically died inside of me and I don't know what to do and I…I just want someone to take it away because it hurts so much…"

Tears fell from Cindy's eyes as she listened to the words and tried to think of something that would help,

"It will never go away, Monica…just like the hurt over Paddy dying will never go away, but it dulls a little with each passing year and the ache isn't so intense. Don't get me wrong, sweetie, it is always going to hurt, but this horrible raw pain you feel right now, won't always be this bad. Yes, you'll always miss him and you'll always love him, but someday, somehow, it will get a little easier one day at a time."

"How can you tell me it won't always be this bad, Cindy?" Monica burst out through her tears,

"Andrew and I have been together for over 100 years! 100 years! You try living with someone for that long, and then tell me it'll all be okay eventually!"

"Sweetie, I don't mean it like that-"

"Maybe so, but I'm never going to get over this, and I'm never going to forget it. By the time the pain becomes less intense, as you put it, then it's going to seem like Andrew's existence never really mattered to me; and I'll probably forget all about him!" The angel sobbed as she hugged Molly tightly,

"And I don't WANT to forget about him, not now and not ever! He's a part of my heart, Cindy, a part of my existence that will never be replaced! Can't you understand that?"

"I can," Angel whispered softly, as she came into the bedroom, her sad eyes on her angelic friend,

"Because Wendy, Paddy and I were triplets, we sort of shared a connection of some kind. I can't really explain it, but I know the pain of his dying still hurts just as badly as it ever did to me. I think…I think you just learn to handle it better."

Monica was quiet for a moment, taking in what Angel had said,

"I don't even want to face tomorrow without him, or any day after tomorrow…" Shakily, she reached for Angel's hand, giving it a weak squeeze,

"I…I understand what you're saying, but…Andrew never should have died to begin with…he's an angel…and I don't know how to accept that…I can't accept that…I don't know what's happened to him and…and I don't know what is going to happen to me…I'm not working for God anymore…I can't."

Silence filled the bedroom as Angelica sat down on the bed next to the Irish angel and wrapped her arms tightly around her shoulders,

"I understand, Monica...I understand..." Turning tear-filled eyes to her mother, Angel whispered,

"Mom, can I have a moment alone with Monica?"

"Of course," Cindy whispered back, wiping at her own blue eyes with her hand before squeezing Monica's shoulder and rising from the bed,

"I'll see you two in the morning, all right?" As her daughter nodded her head sadly, Cindy headed for the door and closed it softly behind her.

"Monica, please talk to me..." Angel uttered weakly, still holding tightly to her friend, even as the tears streamed from both of their eyes,

"Just tell me everything that you're feeling; I won't stop you, you know I won't."

"I don't know, Angel…I upset Wendy earlier by things I said…I don't want to do that to you…" She wiped at her eyes, wondering if there could possibly be any end to her tears.

"You won't, I promise," Angel told her softly, squeezing her tightly.

"I…I wouldn't even know where to begin…everything is wrong without him, Angel…I don't believe in the Father's love anymore or He never would have done this. It took me so long to trust Andrew…for us to fully trust each other and things have been so good lately…and just like that, he's gone…I could understand if he was needed for something else, but the way it happened…it was horrible…and there was no explanation…no promise he'd be back…I didn't even get to hug him…Tess told me not to touch him…I understand why, but…." She shook her head as she choked on a sob.

"What else, Monica?" Angel asked through her tears as she gave the Irish angel another squeeze.

"People have been telling me that God has a plan, even for t-this, but I don't believe it; I don't believe any of it. Kevin said a-after this happened that His plans are terrible, and they are, Angel," The little angel wept miserably as she leaned her head against the teenager's shoulder, her tears soaking into her night clothes,

"Andrew...Andrew could have been seriously injured when he was hit...but no, God had to kill him. God just had to take him away from me when He knew, He KNEW, how much I needed him...and now He won't even tell me whether or not I'll see A-Andy again..."

"What if we pray about it, Monica?" Angel whispered sadly as she tried to meet Monica's eyes, but her friend turned her head away.

"I'm not praying to a God who supposedly loves us; I'm not coming to Him anymore, not after what He did."

"He loved you enough to give you Andrew in the first place," Angel offered softly,

"And because of that, you have almost one hundred years of incredible memories of time spent with him. That has to be worth something, right?"

"But then God took him away by sending him flying through the air after being hit by that truck. We should have had hundreds of more years of incredible memories, but no…I can't even remember anymore a time in my existence that he wasn't there….I wish…I wish I could have died with him…because I don't want to be here without him…" Monica uttered through her tears.

"Monica, don't say that," Angel pleaded tearfully,

"Please don't say that…"

"He was more than my friend, Angel…he was my soul mate…He knew what I was thinking…and he knew and understood my fears and my greatest fear was always losing him somehow….but he always reassured me it would never happen…that he'd always, always be there and he made me believe it by showing me how much he loved me each and every day…he would do anything to protect me….other than the Father, he was my world, Angel, my entire world…I thought the sun rose and set in his smile…he taught me so much and I just wanted to make him proud of me…and no matter how many times I messed up…he still loved me and he still forgave me and trusted me, even when I was a lousy friend to him," She lowered her head for a moment to give way to more sobs,

"His arms were the safest place on this earth, and now there is nowhere to go to feel that safe again…I may not have died with him…but something in me died when he did…the part of him that made me a better angel…"

"You've always been an excellent angel, Monica..." Angel tried again, but the Irish angel interrupted through her hiccups and violent sobs.

"Not without him, Angelica, not without him," Finally pulling away from the teenager, Monica rose shakily to her feet and moved to the door,

"Excuse me, but I need to be alone-"

"At this time of night? Monica, no..." Angelica tried to object, but her friend interrupted once more.

"I have to...I just have to..." And with that, the Irish angel bolted from the door, her sobs echoing down hall as she ran from the bedroom.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Three months later…

The little Irish angel sat alone at the corner table in the small restaurant alone, eyes which held only the smallest glimmer of hope, gazing out the window at the rain which continued to fall. Had any of her angelic friends seen her in the last three months, they may have been hard pressed to recognize her as she had lost weight and dark circles were beneath brown eyes that once sparkled but now were dulled and filled with grief that didn't seem to end. Her once brilliant hair, now hung limply around her sagging shoulders, the auburn color now only accentuating the paleness of her face.

She had come to the restaurant where she and Andrew usually had celebrated the anniversary of their friendship, somehow holding onto one last hope that somehow, someway, he would be here; that he would walk through that door, but she had waited nearly two hours…

Her pain hadn't lessened in three months, but the decision had been made that if her best friend didn't show up here tonight, she was going to end the pain for herself as it was no longer even remotely bearable. She couldn't do it any longer; she was far too tired and hurt far too much to even consider it and the decision had been easy, now that she knew a truth she had never before known…that angels could indeed die.

Gazing down at the long cold coffee in front of her, Monica drew in a shuddering breath as she glanced down at her watch for what seemed to be the millionth time in 2 hours. Lower lip trembling, the Irish angel looked up to the entrance of the restaurant and for just a brief moment, a glimmer of hope appeared in her dark eyes as a tall figure walked through the door, his back to her. From her vantage point, she could tell that he had short blond hair and he was heading in the opposite direction.

Monica's heart pounded loudly in her chest, as she couldn't believe that maybe it could be true. Maybe he had arrived! Rising her her shaking feet, the angel dashed over to the figure, raising her voice to try and stop him and make him turn around,

"Andrew!"

But as her hand came in contact with his shoulder and he turned around to face her, Monica drew in a sharp breath as she realized that the man didn't look anything like her best friend. His eyes weren't even the color emerald green like Andrew's was; instead, they were a dark brown and she noticed that the blond hair was actually alot longer then Andrew's had been and it looked like it could use a good wash. Backing away from the man, lifting a hand to her mouth, the figure tilted his head to the side and asked,

"May I help you?"

"I-I'm so sorry...I thought you were s-someone else..." Monica stuttered, her face paling,

"I'm sorry..."

Tears filling her eyes, the angel headed back to her table and laid down the money for the coffee as she debated where to go. She had brought what she needed with her in the event she decided to go to the beach house.

Walking outside, she unlocked the door of Andrew's car, having requested that Brady ask if she might have it several weeks ago. Tess and Rose had brought it to the Sullivan's, though Monica had refused to see them, staying in her room while the two angels, Brady and Cindy had talked in hushed tones downstairs.

As she drove through the rain, she wiped at the tears that fell from her tired eyes during the entire drive to the beach house. It had been months since she had last been here, the last time having been with Andrew and Kevin. She had left Molly behind at the Sullivan's, knowing that they would take care of her and she had already said her good-byes to the little cat before leaving for the restaurant.

Not bothering to turn on a light, the Irish angel laid the bottle of tranquilizers on the counter before she grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She felt remarkably calm for the first time since she had lost Andrew. She wasn't afraid and was actually feeling relieved over what she was planning to do. If God wanted to prove to her that angels could die, she was looking forward to throwing this back at Him.

Opening the bottle of pills, Monica poured several tablets into the palm of her hand and looked up at the ceiling, her eyes holding anger towards the Father,

"This is for You, Father. I hope You'll be proud." As she was about to pop the pills into her mouth and wash them down with the water, something out of the corner of her eye stopped her and she whirled around at the bright light.

Adam.

Her brown eyes narrowed furiously at the Angel of Death and as she slammed the bottled water back down on the counter, she pointed a trembling finger at Adam,

"How DARE you make an appearance to me at a time like this? How DARE you? If you're trying to stop me, then you can think again, Adam! I'm through, and nothing you say is going to stop me!"

"Monica, don't do this, please," Adam whispered, his gray eyes filled with grief and sadness,

"I don't want to have to do this again, my friend."

"I'm not your friend!" She snapped at him, fury in her eyes,

"And YOU don't want to do this? Well, guess what Adam, I don't want to survive another day without my best friend and had you not taken him away I wouldn't have to!"

"Sweetheart, I had no choice," He whispered in anguish,

"I didn't want to take Andrew away, but it was what I was supposed to do. Monica, everyone is still grieving, and if you do this…it will break their hearts. Please reconsider…"

"No! My mind is made up, Adam, so just go away!" Angrily, she unscrewed the top from the water bottle.

"You aren't thinking straight, Monica," He desperately tried to reason with her, his heart aching at the pain in her eyes,

"You're exhausted and I know how much you are hurting, but this is not the answer."

"You do NOT know how much I'm hurting, and this IS the answer, Adam!" Monica snapped angrily, glaring over at the Angel of Death, who's own eyes were filled with deep pain,

"Don't tell me that the Father is sending you to save my life when He couldn't even save Andrew's! Oh, it wasn't part of the plan. Well, guess what, I have my own plan and I'm going to do it, whether you or God like it or not! I'm going to be with Andrew again, so just GO AWAY!"

"Monica, you won't be with Andrew again if you do this," Adam pleaded again.

"And how do you know that?" The furious angel demanded,

"Let me guess, the Father told you? Well, I don't trust in Him anymore, and I know that He doesn't care about me, so get lost will you? I hate you, Adam; you took Andrew away from me when I needed him more then ever, so just go!"

"You don't mean that, Monica," He uttered miserably,

"There was nothing I wanted more than for him to stay with you, but it wasn't in the plan…"

"His dying should not have been in the plan either, especially without any explanation to those who love him," She replied bitterly,

"I've lost him, Adam, and I'm through with God, so there is nothing left…"

Adam felt tears falling from his eyes as he watched her take the handful of pills and wash them down with the water,

"Oh Monica," He whispered tearfully.

"And soon there will be nothing left of me, not that there was much left anyway," She whispered, before turning around and heading down the hall to Andrew's room, planning to lie down until the pills did their work.

Knowing he didn't have much time to find her help, the Angel of Death vanished from the room, offering up prayer after prayer that he could find her help before it was too late.

*****

Adam reappared moments later in the Sullivan's living room where Brady and Cindy were seated next to each other, talking in hushed whispers and from the looks on both of their faces, the Angel of Death could tell that they were in the middle of discussing Monica. Making himself visible to the two humans, Adam spoke up, his voice filled with sadness,

"Brady? Cindy?"

His head jerking up at the sound of the angel's voice, Brady's dark eyes widened at the sight of the Angel of Death. Rising to his feet, he demanded,

"Adam? What are you doing here?"

Trying to keep his emotions in check, as he knew that Monica needed them right at this very moment, Adam looked at each of the humans and started,

"One of you has got to get to Monica immediately. She has just overdosed on tranquelizers; she's attempted suicide, and one of you need to help her-"

"She what?!" Brady cried out, his hand immediately reaching for his jacket and car keys,

"Where is she, Adam?"

"At the beach house, Brady," He replied shakily,

"Please hurry…"

"Princess, the girls can stay with the twins. Call the others at the cabin and let them know and meet me at the hospital, okay?" Brady's voice was urgent as he headed for the door.

"Hurry, Brady…" Cindy whimpered through tears as she picked up the phone to call the angels,

"We can't lose her too…"

*****

"Andrew, I'm here!" Monica cried out, smiling as she saw her friend, but her smile faded seeing the look in his sad yet loving green eyes,

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Angel Girl, it doesn't work like this, sweetheart. What you did isn't going to allow you to be with me. I'm sorry, little one. It isn't the answer," He whispered to her, his voice filled with regret.

"It has to be, Andy…I don't want to be without you anymore…it's too hard…" She pleaded as tears fell from her dark eyes,

"I miss you so much, just so much…please stay with me…"

"I can't, baby girl," He uttered tearfully as he began to fade away from her,

"I'm so sorry…"

Monica briefly opened her eyes to bright lights and doctors all around her, before closing them again in defeat and giving into the darkness once more.

"Why can't you stay with me, Andy?" Monica pleaded through her tears as she spotted her best friend once more. But each step she took closer to him, and every time she reached for him, Andrew faded farther and farther away from her reach.

"Because I can't, sweetie..." He replied, the tears evident in his voice and eyes,

"That's not the Father's plan..."

Wrenching her dark eyes open once more, Monica sucked in a sharp breath as she found herself looking up at the bright lights once more, but as she slowly turned her head, she spotted Rose and Tess looking down at her, grief and sorrow evident in their eyes,

"Oh Angel Girl," Tess sobbed as she started to reach a hand out to stroke her cheek, but Brady's voice soon stopped her.

"I think she'll be okay, Tess, but it appears that she doesn't want to stick around. She's trying to slip further and further away," The human spoke sadly as he watched the Irish angel's eyes close once more.

Seeing that Monica had slipped back into unconsciousness, Rose reached out a hand to stroke the younger angel's dulled auburn hair,

"I had no idea she was still grieving so hard," She whispered tearfully,

"I mean, we all are, but not enough to try anything like this…Thank God Adam was there."

"She's withdrawing more and more each day, Rose," Cindy told her gently,

"And still wakes up screaming every night. She loved Andrew so much, and she has no desire to be here without him…" Hearing Monica murmur in her sleep, Cindy blinked back tears at her words.

"Andy…Andy…please let me die…please…"

"Oh sweet baby," Tess whispered shakily, looking at Brady,

"What do we do for her, Brady?"

"Well, we have a small problem unless you all intervene to get her out of here," He said, worry in his voice,

"If someone is brought in on a suicide attempt, generally they are admitted to the psychiatric ward of the hospital and she could be here until they feel it is safe for her to be released. I don't know what you both feel is best."

"She's not psychotic, Brady," Tess choked out, stroking her Angel Girl's pale cheek with trembling fingers,

"I'm not about to have this baby wind up in there; not now and not ever."

"I know she's not, Tess," Brady replied with a sigh,

"That's why I need you both to intervene to help get her out of here...actually, we could use Philip as well. I don't know how you'll do it, but her being here can only make it worse. You didn't see here at the beach house..."

"I'll do anything for my Angel Girl, Brady," Tess whispered weakly, turning her eyes to Monica,

"You hear me, baby? We're going to get you out of here, and we're going to help you. We'll be doing it for you and also for our Angel Boy." Tears filled the elderly angel's eyes as she heard the Irish angel whimper to Andrew in her sleep once more.

"Andy, please...take me away...I...I want you with me...please..."

"There's no other choice," Rose whispered as her vision blurred up all over again,

"We have to get her out of here."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Kevin and Carla listened in horror as their other two angelic friends, along with Brady and Cindy filled them in on what had occurred last night. The twosome had been asleep when Cindy had called, leaving Rose and Tess to bolt out the door to the hospital, so they had been terrified when an hour ago, Philip had carried the sedated little angel into the cabin and up the steps.

“I can’t believe she would do this,” Carla whispered through tears before she shook her head,
”Or maybe I do…I never could imagine one of them without the other…”

“You couldn’t help but to look at she and Andrew and just know that they fit,” Cindy remarked softly,
”And without him, nothing is fitting for her and she has no desire to keep doing this. Our whole family has tried and tried to reach her, but she just pulls farther away each day as if the pain is slowly destroying her.”

“She looks awful,” Kevin uttered shakily, feeling incredibly afraid at losing another of his closest friends and not sure if he could bear it. The pain of Andrew hasn’t lessened and despite his sometimes tumultuous past with Monica, he loved her as well and she was his greatest link to Andrew as the three of them had worked together.

“You’re going to have to keep an eye on her,” Brady stated firmly, though his eyes shone with worry,
”I don’t put it past her to try something like this again, so don’t give her any opportunity or means to do so.”

Before Brady could say anything more, Carla looked up sharply,
”Yesterday was the 24th, wasn’t it?”

Tess felt tears filling her eyes,
”I never even thought about it,” She uttered, choking on a sob,
”We all should have been with her yesterday…oh baby, I’m so sorry…”

Seeing the confused glances around her, Carla spoke up tearfully,
”Yesterday was the anniversary of the day she and Andrew first met…they celebrated it every year…”

At those simple words, Cindy covered her mouth with her hand and whispered,

"Oh my God, I had no idea..."

"We all had so much on our minds," Rose jumped in, tears filling her blue eyes all over again,

"I had no idea either...that poor little angel..."

Shaking his head in misery, Kevin spoke up, his voice laced with more grief then anyone had ever heard from him,

"How could we have forgotten? How in the world could we have forgotten about the anniversary...? If anyone needed us then, it was Monica." Not wanting the others to see the tears streaming down his face, the youngest angel turned around and bolted from the bedroom and down the stairs.

"Those babies are hurting so much," Tess whispered in misery with a shake of her head,

"I don't see how any of us are going to be able to help them now..."

"Tess," Philip responded urgently,

"We can't even think that. There has to be some way to help her and that will in turn help Kevin. I'm not saying that I know what the answers are, but we have to find a way or we could very well lose her as well and I, for one, am not willing to do that."

"Philip's right," Rose replied shakily,

"These are our friends and Andrew's best friend we're talking about. That Angel Boy would be devastated to know we forgot about yesterday and left her on her own to try to deal with it. She won't go to the Father, so this is up to us right now."

Rising to his feet, Brady held his hand out to his wife,

"We're going to run home and check on the kids and get Monica's things as well as Molly. That little cat sticks to her like glue and I'm sure she is frantic about now. I'll check on Monica when we get back, but other than being sore from having her stomach pumped, she should be no worse off for what happened last night."

Nodding her head, Tess sighed softly before taking a seat on the edge of Andrew's bed where they had laid Monica down,

"All right, Brady..."

After Cindy and Brady had eventually left the room and hurried down to their car, Tess exchanged a look with the remaining three angels,

"You two are right, babies...both of you. There has to be a way to help both of them, although we can't see it," Reaching for Philip's hand, she gave it a tight squeeze,

"I don't want to lose my second Angel Baby either..."

"I know," The angel choked out,

"That's why I said it, Tess."

Standing behind Tess and Philip, Rose wrapped a gentle arm around Carla and pulled her close before whispering up,

"Oh Lord help them...help us all..."

*****

"Can you at least tell me if you are ever coming back?" Monica whispered as she looked into the eyes of her dearest friend watching miserably as he shook his head.

"I wish I knew, sweetheart, but I don't," His green eyes appeared to be looking right into her soul as he spoke,

"I don't know what is going to happen, Mon, but I need you to be there…"

"Don't ask that of me, Andrew, please…" She broke down into sobs as she shook her head helplessly,

"The pain isn't even bearable, Andy…you took the best part of me with you when you were taken away. I have no idea how to be without you any more…everyday is my worst nightmare, Andrew…every day…tell me how to do what you are asking…"

"You've always been stronger than you thought you were, little girl," He replied, his voice laced with warmth.

"But not strong enough to be without you…" She pleaded, tears racing down her cheeks,

"I miss you so much it physically hurts, Andy…it hurts to move…"

"I miss you too, sweetheart, more then I think you know," He replied, his voice choking up as he looked right at her,

"But this has to be done-"

"No, it doesn't, Andy, no it doesn't," The Irish angel sobbed as she tried to make her way over to him, but the closer she stepped, the further away he faded,

"The Father can't expect this from me! What did we do to deserve this? What did you do to deserve what happened to you? How can He ask this of me? He knows how I feel about you..."

"Just like He knows how I feel about you, Angel Girl," Andrew replied, tears rushing to his green eyes,

"I hope you know that I want to hold you in my arms more then anything, but I can't...and I can't come back..."

"And you may never will," Monica wept, falling to her knees,

"Andy, please...please..."

"I'm so sorry, Angel Girl, I'm so sorry..." He whispered and then his voice soon faded and when Monica looked up again, he was gone. Gone from her existence.

She didn't even want to open her eyes even as she felt the tears streaming from them. At least in the dreams, even though at the end of each one he left, he was still there with her for a time and she only wanted to be able to live in those moments. The moments where she could at least see and hear him, if not touch him as in those moments were the only place she knew any kind of peace.

She tried to will herself to fall back asleep, unable to face the emptiness of another day. She could sense someone was in the room with her and she didn't want to face whoever it was about yesterday. She didn't want to explain or listen to how she shouldn't have tried to do such a thing as her only regret was that it hadn't worked. Though she knew that in the dream, Andrew was asking her to stay, all she still wanted to do was die. How could he ask that of her when he wasn't even here?

Reminding herself that it was only a dream, she left out a trembling sigh as she slowly opened her exhausted brown eyes.

"Hey there, Angel Girl," Tess spoke up as she watched her former charge's eyes open and look up at the ceiling,

"We were worried sick about you..." She waited to see if the little Irish angel would reply, but her heart broke as it seemed that Monica was trying to ignore her,

"Baby...will you look at me?"

Her eyes still looking up at the ceiling, Monica shook her head and didn't reply to her former supervisor. She didn't have the strength to tell her to go away, and she didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Not Tess or Brady or even Kevin; she just wanted her dearest friend back. Was that too much to ask for?

Tess let out a trembling sigh as she watched her friend shake her head,

"Well then, baby, maybe I can talk to you? I can understand why you did what you did, sweetheart, and all of us are so sorry for not being there with you yesterday. We forgot about the anniversary, and we're so terribly sorry. We should've been there with you, Angel Girl..."

A small sob escaped her, though she still didn't look at Tess,

"You understand?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I do, baby," She whispered back to her, realizing now that Monica had expected a lecture and Tess was not about to give her anything more than understanding,

"You and Andrew were two parts of a whole, sweetheart, so I know you feel like you've lost part of yourself…"

"I've lost everything that matters…" The Irish angel interrupted softly, before closing her eyes against tears, not wanting to hurt anyone,

"I mean…I love all of you…but…but…"

"But we're not your Angel Boy," Tess finished for her, seeing Monica nod as tears spilled down her pale and drawn face. The older angel's own voice trembled as she spoke,

"You know, even as much as Rose loved him, she often referred to him as yours, baby, because in so many ways, he did belong to you."

"He...He was my Andrew..." She wept softly, still not meeting Tess' pained eyes,

"He was a part of my soul...a part that I never wanted to loose...and now-and now...I have lost him, and I may never g-get him back..."

"We don't know that, sweetheart..."

"But it c-could happen, Tess," The sobbing angel interrupted, clutching the covers with trembling hands,

"It could happen...the only times I see him now are-are in my dreams, and each time...I can n-never touch him..."

"I'm so sorry, baby-"

"I don't want people to be sorry," Monica uttered miserably,

"I just want to go away. I want to be with him...to touch him...if I can touch him one more time and hug him one more time, then I may be able to survive; but I'm not allowed to, and-and...and I just want to die. Why didn't the pills work, Tess? Why didn't they work?"

Trying as hard as she could to not break down and sob herself at what Monica was saying, Tess struggled to answer,

"They didn't work, baby, because it wasn't meant for them to work and more than anything I wish I had a better answer for you as to why Andrew was taken from us, but you have to stay here, but I don't have one. And as for being able to touch him one more time, sweetheart, one more time never would have lasted you the rest of eternity, no matter how much you think it might. It would never be enough, sweet girl."

The Irish angel swallowed hard as her eyes swam with tears, as she struggled to form words,

"T-Tess…Tess…H-help me…I can't…I can't…"

Without a second thought, Tess moved from her chair and wrapped the sobbing angel in her arms, holding her as tightly as she could,

"I'm here, Angel Girl...All of us are here, baby..."

"I can't survive this, Tess," She wept like never before,

"I can't...there's no way..."

"Shhh, baby," Tess blinked back more tears from her own dark eyes as she rocked Monica on the bed the same way Andrew used to do,

"Shhh...just let it out, sweetheart, let it out..."

"I want him more the a-anything, Tess. I want him," Monica repeated over and over again as she buried her face in the older angel's shoulder, her arms clutching the angel bear tightly to her chest even as Tess rocked her back and forth,

"Tess, please...please, can't y-you bring him to me...? I want him..."

"Oh baby girl, I wish I could…there is nothing I would like more than to bring him here to you," Tess whispered, wondering if she dared say what she was thinking,

"But since I can't do that, sweetheart, I do think I know what he would say to you," She was thoughtful for a moment as she held the anguished little angel tightly in her arms,

"I think he would tell you not to give up, and maybe to trust, even though he knows you're struggling with that right now and I think he would give you a 'cross my heart' promise that God has a plan in all of this, even if you don't believe it or like it right now. Then I think he would tell you that you are his whole world and that he loves you, just so much, baby, just so much," As the older angel's voice got softer on each word until she realized Monica had cried herself into an exhausted sleep.

Tenderly and with great care, she returned the little angel to her pillow and covered her up with the blanket. Smoothing back the damp hair around her face, Tess whispered lovingly to her,

"You go and visit your Angel Boy in your dreams, baby, and when you see him, please give him my love."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

"Kevin, what are you still doing up?" Carla wiped a hand aross her face and looked through tired green eyes at her friend, who was sitting in front of the fireplace, his eyes distant,

"Everyone's gone to bed finally, except for you and I."

"I'm not tired," Kevin shook his head slowly, his swollen eyes on the flames,

"Haven't been tired for some time..."

Taking a seat behind her younger friend, Carla laid a hand on his shoulder and whispered,

"Talk to me? Please?"

Kevin lowered his head for a few moments and finally with a reluctant sigh, he turned around and faced the little blond angel, but his eyes refused to meet hers,

"Why? There's not really much to say anymore, Carla."

"If you're still keeping things inside, then there must still be more to say," She replied softly, laying her other hand on his shoulder as well and rubbing them gently. Still not getting any answer from him, she continued in the same soft tone,

"Today was a rough day…I mean, they've all been rough but then one comes along that knocks you for a loop or hits you with something you weren't expecting and I think today hit you harder then you are letting on."

He sighed wearily and nodded his head,

"It's a couple of things, Carla…I had thought a few times over the last few months about…about how I didn't want to be here anymore, with Andrew gone and Cupcake at the Sullivan's, but I never would have done it or tried to, but when she did, it just made me realize how close I had come a few times…"

"Do you still think about doing something like that now?" Carla whispered worriedly.

"Not after today," He replied softly, finally meeting her eyes.

"Why does today change it?" She asked curiously, trying to understand his train of thought even through his grief.

"A couple of years ago, I was being a really big jerk, mostly to Monica," A sad smile played on his lips as he continued,

"And Simba laid into me like a ton of bricks…I wasn't too sure of what had hit me and I was convinced he was taking lessons from Sam or Tess," Hearing a small giggle escape Carla, he wiped at his eyes and continued,

"But he did make me see how I was acting and how nasty I was being. Andrew could always do that, without yelling…he barely ever raised his voice, even when one of us was way out of line and he could always make us see the truth and the truth that day was that I had been a jerk to Cupcake. The last thing I ever wanted to do, Carla, was let him down. We both felt that way-it was one of the worst feelings and I guess I kind of feel like I let him down yesterday, by not remembering and I need to stick around to make sure things like that don't happen again," He sighed, a cross between a sad sigh and a relieved sigh,

"But it did feel good to remember that time with him, even though I wasn't liking it at the time…".

"You've had many good memories with Andrew, Kev," Carla whispered, her hand still rubbing his shoulder,

"We all have..."

"Yeah...especially that time at Disney World," The youngest angel let out a small laugh before a sob soon escaped,

"That was one of the best trips I've ever had, Carla, although parts of it were sad because Cupcake was considering going back to Special Forces. But those good moments...those are moments that I'll never forget. Simba and the Mickey Mouse ears, and the ride on Space Mountain..." He shook his head sadly before lowering his eyes to the floor and giving way to a few tears.

"Those are memories that are going to stay with you no matter what, Kevin, no matter what happens in the future," Carla replied, her voice also filled with sadness,

"Just like my own personal memories will stay with me."

"But it's not the same," Kevin replied quietly, his voice barely audible to the blond angel.

"No, it's not; nothing is the same right now, Kev," Carla soothed as best she could, removing her hands from his shoulder and gathering him close for a tight hug,

"But you know what Andrew would say if he saw you right now?" Feeling Kevin shake his head as soft sobs emerged, Carla rested her chin on his head as she replied,

"He'd tell you that he loves you so much, and he'll always love you. He'd tell you about his own memories with you and Monica, and that they'll forever be in his heart as well."

"It's just hard to believe that there won't be any new memories with him," Kevin uttered softly,

"I'd even settle for a time that wasn't necessarily good as long as he was here with us again."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Carla said sadly,

"I think we would all take whatever we could get at the moment."

The younger angel drew in a deep breath and left it out slowly,

"I need to get up my courage to talk to Monica tomorrow. I haven't since we lost Andrew and I think it's because I'm afraid…the three of us were together all the time, and I'm afraid of how much it will hurt us both to talk about him and what has happened now that he's gone, if that makes any sense."

"It makes a lot of sense, but Kevin, maybe you are exactly the one she needs to talk to and that you need to talk to, as the three of you were so close. Maybe instead of it hurting both of you, it will help," Carla offered softly.

"I don't know if it will help, but it's worth a try," The youngest angel whispered as he slowly pulled away from Carla,

"There's got to be something that will help us..."

Carla gently squeezed the youngest angel's shoulder as she blinked back more tears,

"There will be. There has to be."

*****

"How much longer is this going to have to last, Andy?" Monica sobbed once more as she watched the sadnes intensify in her best friend's eyes,

"I can't take this anymore! I have to do something; I have to be with you, Andy..."

"I need you, too, sweetheart, but I can't be there with you right now," Andrew shook his blond head as he seemed to looks straight into the Irish angel's soul once more,

"If I had an answer of how long this would last, I would tell you...but, Angel Girl, you need to bring all of this anger and frustration to the Father-"

"I hate Him, Andrew; He took you from me, and He may never bring you back," She shook her head in misery,

"What kind of Father is that, Andy?"

"Oh Monica," He uttered sadly, seeing the tears and anger in her dark eyes,

"You know that the Father loves you, sweetie, you know that."

"No, I don't…not anymore. He took you away from me, Andrew…he took you away!" She lowered her head for a moment, crying brokenly,

"I'm going to find a way to be with you, Andrew, I have to…"

"No, baby. Not like last night," He pleaded with her, pain in his eyes as he watched her,

"Promise me you won't do something like that again, Angel Girl. Cross your heart promise me.."

"I can't!" She all but screamed through her tears,

"Let me stay here with you…please just let me stay with you. This is the only place I want to be; I want to be where you are. Please, Andy, please, don't send me back there again without you. It's too hard…it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do and to know it could last forever is more than I can bear. I love you so much…I always knew I did, but now I know that there isn't any end to how much I love you. Please let me stay or come back with me, please! I don't think I can face another day without you and I don't want to. It hurts so much and it's all I feel anymore…"

Andrew watched as his dearest friend slumped down to her knees and wept like never before. Oh, how he wanted to hold her; his arms felt empty without her in them. But instead of fading away, he took a step closer to his best friend and reached a hand out to try and stroke her cheek; although he knew that he couldn't feel her, it still broke his heart when all he felt was thin air. His green eyes filled with tears as Monica lifted her head and tried to grasp onto his hand, but just like himself, all she felt was air.

"No..no..." Monica uttered miserably, still on her knees as she watched Andrew slowly start to fade away,

"Don't leave again...Don't!" Her pleas slowly turned to whimpers as she noticed that once again, like all the other times, he was gone,

"Don't go...don't leave me..."

"No, don't leave me..." Monica whispered through choked up sobs one more time, and with a final plea, the weary angel opened her eyes slowly and looked down through blurred vision in time to see Molly climb up onto the bed and nudge her face against hers. Biting her lip to hold back a round of tears, the Irish angel reached a trembling hand out and stroked the cat's fur,

"Oh Molly...what am I doing to do? What am I going to do?"

"Monica?" Kevin uttered softly as he opened the door and slowly walked over to the bed.

Looking up, her tear-filled eyes met with his for the first time since all this had happened as dozens of memories came flooding back to her of the many times the three of them had spent together and even through her blurred vision, she was sure she saw the emotions in the eyes of the slightly younger angel,

"Kevin…" She uttered as he sat down on the bed and the next thing she knew, she had wrapped her arms tightly around him as sobs overtook them both.

Kevin held onto her just as tightly as they cried together for several long minutes before he was able speak,

"I miss him too…" He whispered, feeling her nod her head in understanding. Pulling away, he kept his hands on her upper arms,

"You scared me the other night, Cupcake…don't do something like that again, please?"

"I just wanted to be with him, Kev…" She whispered shakily.

"Not like that, Monica," He choked out, shaking his head,

"Andrew wouldn't want you to…"

"I know, he said the same thing," She whispered, feeling confused between what was real and what was a dream. Before Kevin could question her, she continued,

"There's somewhere I need to go…come with me?" Though she was surprised to hear herself ask for his company as she had spent three months pushing everyone away, she was also relieved to see him nod his head as he wiped at his eyes.

"Of course, I'll come with you."

After the little Irish angel had changed into a pair of jeans and the flannel shirt that Andrew had given her so long ago, along with his leather jacket, Monica slowly made her way down the stairs of the cabin to where Kevin was waiting. The youngest angel's head was hanging low and without saying a word, Monica reached a trembling, slightly cold hand out and grasped her co-worker's hand in her own.

"Where do you want to go?" Kevin uttered weakly as they made their way out the door and into the cool morning air.

"You'll see in a few minutes..." Monica replied in a faint whisper and as the two angels walked hand in hand, silence passing between the two of them, towards the woods. Neither of them spoke the entire way as Monica lead the way to the mountain top and finally, after several minutes, they reached the top of it,

"Andrew named this Monica's Mountain many, many years ago..." She started to explain, releasing her younger friend's hand and walking over to the edge.

"Why did you want to come here?" Kevin asked softly as he followed her motion of sitting down on the edge of the cliff.

She shrugged her shoulders slightly and sighed,

"I don't know really. He told me the first day he brought me here that it reminded him of me and that he liked to come here when we were unable to be together…I guess that is the reason; because we can't be with him now."

Kevin nodded his head tearfully, now understanding,

"It seems like there are memories everywhere," He remarked softly.

The two angels were silent for a few minutes as they gazed out over the valley below them, before Kevin spoke up again,

"What did you mean before, about Andrew telling you that trying to kill yourself was not the way to be with him?"

Monica lowered her head and drew in a trembling breath,

"I dream about him all the time, but they seem so real, Kevin. He's talking to me about being gone and I think sometimes, I think they are real. I just wish there was a way to stay there with him…"

Reaching for his friend's hand again and holding it tightly in his own, Kevin drew in a shaky breath slowly,

"So do I...what else does he say?"

Lifting her hand to wipe at the tears in her swollen eyes, the Irish angel continued looking out over the valley as she replied slowly,

"He's asked me to 'cross my heart' promise that I will never try something like that again...and that he loves me so much and wants to be with me; but he can't, and I can't. He wants me to trust the Father...but I can't do that, Kevin...and every time I try to touch him..." The Irish angel's voice broke off on a sob as she lowered her head,

"Every time, he fades away from me and he's no longer there and that's when I start to wake up. The day when the dreams first started, I dreamt about the day it...happened, and I was so close to hugging him, but then I heard screeching brakes and then I see his body..." A choked up sob escaped her and she finally turned back to Kevin,

"I just don't know how to go on without him. Three months is long enough...what if we have to go several years without him?"

"I don't even want to think about that, Monica," Kevin uttered softly, feeling tears falling from his eyes at her words,

"I keep thinking how I never really told Andrew that I loved him and now I may never get the chance to do that…"

Despite her own anguish, the little Irish angel turned to her friend and grabbed his hands in her own,

"Oh Kevin, he knew! Don't think for a moment that he didn't know you loved him, because he did and he loved you so much too. You were the closest thing to a son an angel could ever have and that is how he felt about you. Please don't think he didn't know, because he did…He knew, Kevin."

"I didn't tell him enough though, Cupcake," Kevin choked out, lowering his dark eyes,

"I mean, I've told you two together...that I loved you; but I never told him I appreciated what he did, or much less how much I love him."

Choking on her own sobs, Monica released his hands and pulled him tightly into her shaking arms,

"But he knew, Kevin...just by your actions, your sense of humor and even from something as simple as a hug...Kev, he knew..." She buried her face into his shoulder as the two angels let out soft sobs on the edge of the mountain.

"If I know anything right now, it's that I'm never...never going to take him for granted again, Monica. Never again," The youngest angel whispered miserably into Monica's shoulder.

"You never really did to begin with, Kev. You may have thought you took him for granted, but you would have done anything for him and you did do anything he asked of you most of the time," She pulled away and wiped at the tears on his face with trembling hands,

"Don't be so hard on yourself, okay?"

"It's just hard, Cupcake…I keep thinking of all the things I could have done differently…" He replied softly.

"I know…so do I. I wish I had gotten across the street sooner that day…maybe it could have been avoided…maybe none of this would have happened," She whispered through her own tears.

Kevin was quiet for a moment before looking into her tired and swollen eyes,

"Monica, please don't do anything like you did the other night again. I don't want to lose you too. I know there have been times when I am your worst nightmare, but I love you and I don't think I could stand it."

The tears starting up once more at full force, Monica lowered her head and whispered shakily,

"Kevin, I don't-"

"Monica, please," Kevin pleaded, the tears falling unashamedly down his young-looking face,

"Please...promise me you won't...I can't handle having lost Andrew, and I can't lose you too..." He grasped her hands in his own once more and held them tightly,

"Promise me, Monica."

Monica opened her mouth, getting ready to object until she saw the tears and pleading in her co-worker's own swollen brown eyes. Finally, as she let out a shaky breath, the Irish angel replied slowly and wearily,

"I'll try...I'll try."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

4 months later…

Cindy mentally ran down her list to make sure that everything they were having for Thanksgiving dinner was either cooking or ready to start cooking,

"Sweet potatoes," She muttered aloud, going to the cupboard to find the cans of Yams she had bought for today.

"Do you need any help, Princess?" Brady asked, coming up behind her and laying his hands on her shoulders.

"Only with my nerves, honey," She sighed before turning to face him, and seeing the questioning look on his face,

"We haven't seen any of them in four months and this is another first and I'm worried."

"Another first?" He asked, not quite certain what his wife was referring to.

"Yes, you know. The first Thanksgiving without Andrew. You remember how hard the first year was without Patrick and we all too well remember the first friendship anniversary for Monica since he had been gone. I just want things to go as right as they can possibly go today, is all…"

"Well, Tess said she and Philip had gone back to work, so that is a good sign that they are at least trying to go on and she said that Carla was starting to talk about working again as soon as Rose is ready. Kevin and Monica, now that is another story," He sighed heavily, his concern showing in his brown eyes,

"I don't think Kevin can even think about working with another supervisor after working with Andrew during his whole Case working career."

"No, I'm sure he can't," Cindy replied sadly, with a shake of her head,

"And Tess said that Monica has just not recovered much at all, though her grief seems more quiet now. Tess said she barely utters a sound and that she really had to work to get her to come today at all."

Sighing sadly, Brady nodded his head,

"But at least that little angel's coming; I really want to talk to her once they get here."

Turning back to the can of Yams that she was starting to open up and dump into a pot, Cindy replied quietly,

"Wendy still is feeling rather down in the dumps today. She's always looked forward to Andrew arriving and now without him being here...I hope someone will be able to cheer her up. I hate seeing her like this, Brady..."

Wrapping his arms around his wife from behind, Brady felt her lean into him heavily with a sad sigh,

"We'll all do everything we can to help one another, Princess. But remember that it may take longer then 7 months for Wen to get over this, just like Monica. Wendy's known Andrew her entire 15 years of her life, and ever since Andrew saved her life that time in the pool, she's always been attached to him. It's going to take time for them especially..."

"It's going to feel so weird...and Christmas is almost here," Cindy turned around again, her blue eyes now brimming with tears,

"That's supposed to be the happiest time of the year..."

"Hey sweetheart," He squeezed her tightly as he kissed the side of her head,

"You and I need to try to be as positive as we can today. I'm not asking you to hide how you feel, but lets get through today before we worry about Christmas, okay?"

"You're right," She replied shakily, just as the doorbell rang. Wiping at her eyes, she gently pulled away from her husband,

"Go and let them in while I get myself and the Yams together. I'm sure the girls will be down soon with Jason and Ashley as they were getting them dressed and ready. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Kissing her forehead gently, Brady then headed out to let the angels in the door, managing a smile for them as he let them in,

"Hello, gang," He told them, as he gave Tess a hug, followed by Rose and Carla and a handshake to Philip. He could tell the four of them were trying to keep their spirits up, though they were obviously feeling the strain of the day.

"Thank you for having us, Brady," Rose told him softly,

"I'm not sure any of us much felt like cooking Thanksgiving dinner today."

"Well, Cindy is in the kitchen cooking up a storm, so you're in luck, Rose," He replied, catching Kevin in a gentle headlock, though the youngest angel only smiled slightly,

"How are you doing, kid?"

"I'm okay, Brady," Kevin replied, though he neither looked nor sounded convincing.

Looking up once more, Brady saw the angel of his greatest concern lingering slightly behind and he sighed softly. She still looked incredibly frail to him and tired, as if she hadn't had a good nights sleep in seven months, but what bothered him the most was the absolutely empty look in her dark eyes combined with a grief that went far deeper than he could probably imagine. Wasting no time, he caught her up in a tight hug,

"I've missed you, sweetheart," He told her softly, noticing how though she wrapped her arms around him, she only responded with a nod. Pulling away, he kept an arm around her shoulders as they followed the others into the living room,

"I'd like to talk to you a little later, if that's okay."

Monica nodded her head numbly as she walked over to the chair Andrew had often occupied when they were here and sat down, quietly observing the forced conversation around her.

Watching Kevin take a seat on the arm of the chair she was in and reach immediately for her hand, Monica gave it a limp squeeze, but didn't even attempt to smile. Lowering her dark, empty eyes to the floor, she listened as Kevin asked quietly,

"Where's Wendy and Angel?"

"They're still upstairs, getting the twins ready," Brady replied with a half-hearted grin at the youngest angel,

"They should be down in just a few minutes." With a nod, Kevin looked back down at his hands as quiet conversation continued to float through the air.

"How're you all doing?" Tess spoke up, trying to make her voice sound as cheery as possible under the circumstances, but found it rather difficult.

"We're holding up, Tess," The human replied, looking from the supervisor to Rose, and then to Carla and Philip,

"What about you? We haven't seen you guys in 4 months."

"About the same, I suppose," Philip replied, managing a slight smile,

"How are the twins doing?"

"They are getting into everything now that they are starting to walk," Brady chuckled softly,

"So for today, everyone is on toddler duty. Maybe between all of us, Cindy will be able to manage to get dinner on the table."

"I think I'm going to go and give her a hand," Tess offered, rising to her feet,

"Today it will be good for me to keep busy, I think."

"I'll come with you, Tess," Carla replied, getting up as well, barely able to stand the forced conversation even though she knew why it was happening,

"I want to say hello to Cindy anyway."

As the two angels made their way into the kitchen, Cindy was just starting to set the table with silverware and utensils, along with all the condiments they needed. Managing a smile, Tess made her way over to her human friend and spoke up,

"Hello, baby."

Looking up at the sound of the voice, Cindy wiped at her tired eyes and managed a small smile at the angels,

"Hi, Tess. Hey, Carla." She made her way over to her two angelic friends and gave each of them a quick hug in turn,

"How are you guys doing?"

"Hanging in there, baby, hanging in there," Tess replied, not wanting to turn her mind to the absence of her sweet Angel Boy right now,

"We just wanted to drop in here and see you, and maybe help you out with this meal if you don't mind." Seeing her friend nod her head in agreement, Tess exchanged a look with Carla.

"Brady said that the twins are just learning how to walk now, huh?" The blond Search and Rescue angel piped up with false cheerfulness in her voice,

"They must be into everything and anything."

"Yeah, they are," Cindy remarked, and gave out a small sigh,

"Look you two, it's fine with me if you don't want to make small talk as I'm really not so much up for it either. I've been worrying about today all week and worrying especially about Wendy and Monica for seven months now. I miss Andrew too and it suits me just fine if you want to talk about him."

Relief seemed to flood Carla's features as she let out a breath she felt as if she had been holding in forever,

"Thank you for saying that, Cindy. We all miss him so much and I've been dreading today to be honest with you."

"But don't take that the wrong way, baby," Tess added, with Cindy's words, the closest thing to a smile she had felt in months on her lips.

"Hey, no offense taken, Carla," Cindy replied with a wink.

"I just think I really need to get back to work," The younger angel sighed,

"I need to focus on something else for awhile, not that I'm trying to forget Andrew, I could never, ever do that. I just need some distraction from feeling so sad, if that makes sense."

"It makes perfect sense," Cindy answered with a heavy sigh as she took a seat at the kitchen table and wiped at her blue eyes,

"Brady and I haven't been able to keep our minds on our work at the hospital, but we're doing the best we can..."

"Until we know how long this is going to last, I just want to keep my mind focussed on one thing and maybe the time will go by faster," Carla whispered as she took over in setting the table,

"At least I hope it will..."

Reaching for the little blond angel's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, Cindy smiled sadly and nodded her head,

"So do I..." She then turned her attention over to Tess, who had walked to the other side of the kitchen and was putting the sweet potatoes into a bowl,

"Tess...I know that you're trying to keep your mind off of him right now, and maybe hope the pain will go away if you do; but I know that's not the case..."

"I miss that boy more then anything, baby," Tess started with a small shake of her head as she moved to set the bowl down in the middle of the table,

"And it's really been hard for me to talk about him, especially lately as it came closer to the holidays."

"The holidays are going to be hard, Tess," Cindy said softly,

"The first year after we lost Paddy, we didn't want to even celebrate, until we reminded ourselves of what Christmas was all about."

"I keep telling myself that too," Tess sighed, opening the can of cranberries Cindy had sitting on the counter,

"But it's just hard, even though some good has come out of this. Kevin and Monica are closer now than they have ever been and he seems to accept her silence better than anyone and she accepts support from him more so than anyone else except for maybe Brady."

"Is she talking at all, Tess?" Cindy asked worriedly, folding a napkin.

"Very little, baby," Tess replied sadly,

"It's been so long since I've heard her laugh or Kevin tell a joke, I forget what the two things sound like."

"How's Wendy?" Carla asked softly, watching Cindy's face intently.

"Still very sad," She replied honestly,

"She's bounced back a little but not much. She functions and is doing fairly well in school, but she keeps to herself more than she used to. She was always so outgoing and now she reminds me more of Angel."

"Mom?" Angel's voice then broke into the sad conversation and all three turned their heads to the sound of the teenager. Angel was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, holding one twin in each arm,

"Mom, I think someone needs to speak with Wendy...she won't come downstairs right now; she was going to, but she just broke down...mom, someone needs to help her..." The girl's voice broke on a sob as she set Ashley and Jason on their feet.

"I'll go," Carla spoke up, wanting to help this teenager more then anything,

"I'll just go bring Ashley and Jason into the living room and get them out of your hair, Cindy, before I head up there..."

"Thanks, honey," Cindy thanked the angel, her blue eyes filled with deep concern,

"I appreciate it so much."

After the angel had deposited the twins off with their father, Carla headed quickly up the stairs and towards the oldest twin's room, noticing immediately that Wendy's door was open partway. Knocking softly on it, the angel poked her head inside and spoke softly,

"Are you coming down, sweetheart?"

"I..I don't think I can, Carla…I'm not feeling much like celebrating today…" Wendy managed to choke out.

Walking into the room, Carla took a seat beside the teenager on her bed and wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders,

"I don't think any of us do, sweetie. We're kind of going through the motions right now as this is so hard, but it would be just as hard without Thanksgiving dinner. Either way, we know it's a holiday, right?"

Wendy nodded her head tearfully,

"I always thought angels couldn't die, Carla…I thought I'd have all of you till I died and now Andrew is gone and I miss him so much…"

"We all do, Wen' and we all thought the same thing you did; that we couldn't die," She sighed softly and gave Wendy a tight squeeze,

"I do know how much it hurts, honey, and there is a whole room full of people and angels down there who know it too, so why not at least hurt together?"

"I just can't, Carla...it feels so wrong to even try celebrating at a time like this," Wendy sobbed against the angel's shoulder, her heart breaking into tiny pieces all over again,

"I'm just going to start crying anyways if I go down there and not see him...I can't do it..."

"Yes you can, sweetheart; yes, you can," Carla uttered as she closed her green eyes that were so similar to Andrew's,

"If Monica can come, so can you, Wendy."

"I don't feel up to talking, though..." The teenager continued weeping as she never lifted her head.

"You don't have to talk, sweetie," Carla ran her fingers through the girl's long blond hair gently as she spoke,

"Nobody's asking you to talk, but I think it would do you some good if you come downstairs and get something to eat. And while you're there, you can even lift up a prayer for Andrew to God, all right?"

"I'm not sure He's listening anymore," Wendy whispered softly, wiping at her eyes.

"He always listens, sweetheart," Carla replied gently,

"Even through all of this, I know that much to be true. He always hears us, it's just that sometimes His answer might be 'not yet'. He knows your heart, Wendy, and He always has. I think maybe He is asking all of us to trust Him, especially now when it is so difficult to do so."

"It's been really hard this time, Carla, but I'm really trying," She replied shakily.

"That's all He's asking for, Wen', that's all He's asking for," Carla managed a smile for the teenager as she got up and pulled her to her feet,

"Your mom was just getting dinner on the table, so let's go down and have a bite, okay?" Seeing Wendy nod her head, Carla smiled in relief that maybe just one small battle had been won today.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

No sooner was Thanksgiving dinner finished that Monica had risen to her feet and made her way out of the kitchen, mumbling a quiet "Excuse me" as she headed back out into the living room. Watching her go, Brady wiped his mouth with a napkin before pushing back his chair and giving his wife a loving kiss,

"Dinner was delicious, Princess. I hope you don't mind, though, but I think it's time to talk to a certain little angel..."

"You do that, baby," Tess jumped in, also rising to her feet and starting to help clear the dishes,

"We'll take care of all of this."

Smiling slightly at the older angel, Brady nodded his thanks before leaving the kitchen and walking out into the living room, immediately finding Monica with her back to him and her arms folded as she stood staring at the fire place.

Gently placing his hands on her shoulders, he felt her lean back into him slightly, as if trying to draw from his strength to get through today,

"Hey, sweetheart," He said softly,

"You haven't said two words all afternoon."

Swallowing hard, she drew in a trembling breath,

"I'm just trying to get through the day, Brady…I'm just trying to survive…"

"It looks like you're just barely doing that, little angel," He observed gently, guiding her over to the couch so they could sit down. When she didn't respond, he wrapped an arm around her frail shoulders and pulled her close, relieved when she didn't resist and rested her head wearily against his shoulder,

"Talk to me, Monica."

"There isn't anything left to say, Brady," She whispered shakily,

"It's all been said and I've cried more tears then I ever thought possible and nothing has changed. So what is left to say?"

"I honestly don't know, Monica," Brady replied back with a sigh,

"I just thought you'd have something more to say is all..."

"I've said everything I've needed to the past 7 months, to all of you," She replied slowly and wearily, not lifting her head from the human's shoulder to look into his eyes,

"I cannot say anymore, not until I have him back...the Father's been just plain cruel in keeping him away from us, from me, for this long...it's been almost a year, Brady..."

"Hey now, God isn't cruel, little angel-"

"Then tell me what He is, Brady," Monica lifted her head finally, her eyes now flashing deep anger towards her Heavenly Father,

"Because He's certainly not loving..."

"You know better than that, little angel-," Brady began, but she cut him off before he could say more.

"I knew that once, Brady, but not anymore! I want nothing more to do with Him, Brady. Not now and not ever and I don't mind having this conversation with you, Brady, but can we please just leave God out of it?" She asked, her voice holding an edge to it.

"I'm really worried about you, sweetie," He said softly,

"This is not the little angel I met 17 years ago, who was so filled with love for God, she amazed me…"

"That was before He stole my best friend away from me," She replied coldly,

"I'm not even sure of why I'm here today as I have nothing to be thankful for."

"You've got Tess and Rose, and Kevin, Philip and Carla," Brady tried to get through to her once more,

"You've got myself and Cindy, and Angel and Wendy, and there's also a new addition to the family, those sweet little twins in there. You've got plenty of friends-"

"But not my best friend, the better part of me," Monica interrupted, her voice still cold with anger,

"He was always the better part of me, Brady, and now he's taken away in the blink of an eye. So now, I've got nothing to be thankful for." Pulling away from his hold, the little Irish angel made her way over to her purse and grabbed her car keys,

"Will you tell the others goodnight for me? I'm heading off. Thanks for dinner, Brady." Without waiting for a reply, the little angel hurried towards the door and towards Andrew's car, jumping in it and in a flash, had pulled out of the driveway.

"Where did Monica go?" Kevin asked worriedly, as he walked out in the living room.

"She left," Brady said with a soft sigh,

"I was trying to talk to her and-."

"She left!" Kevin cried out, panic welling up inside of him,

"She shouldn't be driving, Brady! We haven't let her drive in months because of how wiped out she is and with today being a holiday, she shouldn't be out there alone!" Grabbing his jacket, Kevin snatched up Tess's car keys and bolted out the door.

*****

Monica sped down the highway, her hands clutching the steering wheel in a death grip as her vision blurred with unshed tears,

"I can't do this, Andy, not anymore…please understand that I just can't…." Drawing in a trembling breath, she laid her foot down on the accelerator as far as it would go as the speedometer slowly worked its way up to close to 100 miles per hour.

"Don't do this, Monica."

Sam's voice appeared next to her, but Monica never turned her eyes off the road to face him,

"I'm sorry, Sam...I'm sorry, but I can't do it any longer...there's no possible way-"

"Yes there is, Monica," Sam objected, putting his hand on the steering wheel and trying to calm the shaking of her hands,

"Talk to the Father; you need Him now more then you know-"

"No, Sam," The now sobbing Irish angel snapped as she tried to make the car go faster, her eyes blinded by tears now as they focussed on only one thing. Driving this car off of a cliff and never returning to this earth again, as long as her best friend wasn't there with her.

"Andrew would not want this from you, Monica and in your heart you know that," Sam spoke gently, trying to diffuse her destructive anguish.

"Well, he isn't here to tell me that, is he, Sam?" She demanded, her voice laced with tears,

"And don't talk to me about the Father! HE did this in the first place. He let me know the cruelest way possible that angels could die, and I want to be the second one to do so…"

"I know how much you miss Andrew-."

"Miss him? Miss him, Sam? That doesn't even begin to touch how I feel!" She slammed her hands down on the steering wheel, not even realizing that the older angel's grip on the wheel was the only thing keeping her in a straight line on the road,

"I'm barely even living now as it is and I just want to end it and be done with it! I don't want to feel this way anymore!"

"Monica, I know that you don't want to talk about the Father or to the Father; I know that it seems that He's been nothing but cruel to you, but that's not the truth," Sam continued to push the furious angel, wishing with all of his heart that he could get through to her before it was too late,

"But He does want to talk to you, and He will start to explain His reasons if only you'll listen to Him-"

"You're not even listening to me, Sam!" Monica snapped, her face turning red with anger,

"I do NOT want to be around here any longer! I don't want to last another day without Andrew, and I refuse to talk it to the Father, I absolutely refuse to. So you might as well disappear now before I drive this car off a cliff...I don't want you injured or dead too..."

"Monica, don't do this...please, don't do this. What if Andrew did come back, and he found you did this? How would that make him feel?"

"Don't start that with me, Sam, all right? Just don't!" The angry angel yelled, her hands shaking on the steering wheel,

"Just go!"

The Angel's Angel sighed heavily as he shook his head,

"I wanted you to stop this car of your own free will, Monica, but you've left me no choice…"

As she continued to drive the car as fast as it would go, Sam's hand still steady on the wheel, Monica realized the car was slowly losing speed. Her heart heavy with despair, she looked at the gas gauge and realized it was on empty,

"No, no, no!" She cried out as the car slowed slowly and finally stopped in the middle of the road.

"I'm sorry, Monica," Sam said softly,

"I know you think this is the answer, but it just isn't, my dear."

Slamming her hands down on the wheel once more, she lowered her head until her forehead was resting against the wheel, as she broke down into hysterical sobs,

"No….why does everyone interfere with me….but God wouldn't save Andrew…why!?" The last word was a scream as she broke down once more,

"I want to die…please, just let me die and go be with Andy…I'm so tired…and I miss him so much…"

"God doesn't want you to take your life, honey," Sam gently replied with a shake of his head,

"I had no choice." He stopped as he noticed that she was ignoring everything he said,

"I understand how you feel, Monica-"

"No you DON'T!" She screamed, never lifting her head from the steering wheel,

"Nobody on the face of his earth knows how I feel, so stop implying that you do, Sam! Just let me die, please, just let me die!"

Feeling tears forming in his dark eyes for the Irish angel, Sam lowered his head but before he could speak, he heard the sound of screeching tires behind them and he glanced over his shoulder in time to see Kevin pull up in Tess' car. The youngest angel jumped out of the vehicle, leaving the engine running and ran over to Andrew's car where Monica still sat in the driver's seat sobbing hyseterically.

"Kevin, you need to get her back to cabin," Sam was the first to speak as he met eyes with the youngest angel,

"I'll bring Andrew's car back; just get her to sleep, okay?"

"That's easier said than done, Sam," Kevin replied softly, before turning his attention to the hysterical angel,

"C'mon, kiddo," He said softly, opening Monica's car door and reaching for her, relieved when she was too worn down to resist, though he had to support her so she could make it to Tess's car. His eyes burned with tears, almost certain of what she had tried to do and he was almost afraid to consider what Sam might suggest doing in order to keep this from happening again.

As he got her situated in the car and got in his side, he looked over at her,

"Cupcake…"

But Monica only lowered her head into her hands and continued to sob. As Kevin turned the car around and headed in the direction of the cabin, he tentatively reached over and as Andrew had done so many times in the past, pulled her close as he drove, allowing her to weep against his shoulder in absolute and utter despair.

*****

By the time Kevin had arrived back at the cabin with the weeping Irish angel, Sam was explaining the news of what had happened to the remaining angels and humans back at the Sullivan's house and the Angel's Angel heart broke as he watched Carla slump against Rose and let out a devestated cry.

"Why is she doing this, Sam? Why...?" She cried, leaning her head against her supervisor's shoulder,

"It's bad enough we lost one of them, but to lose her now...why...?"

"She's angrier with God then I ever thought possible, Carla," Sam explained with a weary sigh,

"She doesn't want to live anymore with Andrew, and she doesn't understand why we're intervening to save her life when God didn't intervene to save Andrew's..."

Silence filled the Sullivan living room for several long moments before Tess spoke up and announced,

"I think we all need to get going, babies. Thanks for dinner, Cindy...Brady...but I hope you understand-"

"Oh Tess, of course," Cindy interrupted as she embraced her angelic friend, all the while trying to hold back a sob,

"Of course we understand."

After a quick round of good-byes with their human friends, Carla practically ran towards the remaining car in the driveway, more determined then ever to get to Monica, especially after what they had just been told.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

By the time the rest of the angels arrived back at the cabin, Kevin all but met them at the door, his face one of complete worry and anguish,

"I can't get her calmed down," He uttered tears now falling from his eyes,

"She's already gotten sick once from crying so hard and she just keeps pleading with me to let her die somehow and I don't know what to do!"

"Calm down, baby," Tess said softly, catching the youngest angel up in a hug,

"We're going to do everything we can for her, I promise you that," Tears in her own eyes, she lifted them up to the ceiling and whispered softly,

"Oh Andrew, I so wish you were here to help your Angel Girl."

"She needs to sleep," Rose said softly, wishing she knew how to bring the little angel the peace that would come with rest.

"And that's what we're going to make sure she gets that sleep," Tess replied, releasing the youngest angel and motioning for Rose to follow her, Carla and Philip following right behind. As they made their way into Andrew's old room, Tess bolted over to the bed where Monica was thrashing around in her sleep, cries escaping her as she screamed out to her best friend.

"Andy! Andy, please...let me be with you...let me be with you...! Please someone let me die, just let me die!"

"Angel Baby, please calm down," Tess pleaded as she moved to one side of the bed and gently grasped onto the thrashing angel's shoulders and almost had to duck as her arms flailed out and almost smacked her in the face,

"Shhh, baby...calm down..."

"No...No...Andrew...I love you, come back...come back..."

"He knows you love him, sweetheart," Tess whispered, trying to soothe little angel to no avail.

"Tess," Rose began hesitantly, waiting until her friend had turned to look at her,

"Brady gave me something right before we left the house that will make her sleep," Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the syringe, her blue eyes grieved and uncertain.

"I hate to do that to her, Rose," Tess uttered softly as Monica continued to sob in her arms. Looking down at the young angel once more and seeing the pain on her face and the exhaustion in her eyes,

"Do you know what you're doing with that thing, Rose?"

"What we need when we need it, right?" She whispered sadly,

"Try to keep her still," She asked, waiting until Tess hold of the Irish angel to slip the needle into the vein in her arm.

"You rest now, sweet baby," Tess said tearfully, as a moment later, Monica went limp in her arms.

"Oh Tess, this is breaking my heart," Rose slumped down on the other side of the bed, her eyes on Monica as Tess lowered her back down to the bed and released her,

"Nothing is going right, and this little angel is only still whenever it's time to go to sleep...these last seven months..." She stopped in mid-sentance with a sad shake of her head, unable to continue.

Reaching across the bed to squeeze the eldest angel's arm, Tess nodded in agreement, unable to hold back tears any longer,

"I know, baby...it's been incredibly difficult for all of us..."

"Seven months," Rose whispered with a heavy, long sigh,

"Has it really been that long?"

"I'm afraid so, Rose," The supervisor uttered weakly, her hand smoothing back Monica's limp auburn hair from her tear-streaked face,

"It just seems like yesterday this entire nightmare happened though."

"I don't think it feels like yesterday to his Angel Girl," Rose replied sadly,

"I think she has felt every horrible minute of the last seven months. I had thought the pain had lessened for her at least a little bit the last few months, until tonight."

"I'm not sure of what to do anymore, Rose. I don't want to keep her sedated for the rest of eternity or until she accepts the Father back into her heart, but I'm so afraid of what she will do…"

*****

"You have got to stop this, Monica," Andrew told her, forcing sternness into his voice and eyes,

"You're breaking their hearts with this."

"Then make it stop hurting so badly, Andy," She uttered, her voice scarcely a whisper.

"Will you just listen to me, please? You can't keep doing this; I've told you before it is not the answer," He swallowed hard, as it was taking everything in him to be firm with his heart broken best friend.

"Then let me stay with you, Andy, please...I'll stop if you'll let me stay with you! You should know that I can't handle being without you; I just c-can't!" The Irish angel wept as she looked into his eyes, which though were filled with love, also held sternness.

"I want to be with you too, sweet girl; but the Father has said 'not yet'. Angel Girl, this isn't like you-"

"That's because angels haven't died before! You're the first one, Andy, the first one!" She wept as she wiped at the never-ending tears from her swollen brown eyes,

"I just want to know the answer to why this had to happen, and why you were taken from us-from me-in such a flash and why the Father won't return you! I-I need you...I need you so much, Andrew..."

"Baby, please...you have to stop trying to take your life. I-I really don't know what else to say, Mon," Andrew whispered back, his voice getting choked up,

"You have got to listen to me and to the others. They're right in all of this, you know."

"Andy, no...I can't...I just can't...I can't handle another second of this!"

"You'll have to, baby girl," Andrew choked out, his heart breaking for his best friend's intense pain.

"I can't…I can't…" She repeated again and again as she buried her face in her hands.

Hating himself for what he was about to say, but knowing that there was no other way, he took a step closer to her,

"Monica, if you can't promise me you will stop this nonsense, I won't be able to speak to you anymore like this."

She raised her head slowly, looking into his saddened green eyes,

"W-What?"

"You heard me," He replied, steadily meeting her eyes, hating the anguish he saw there,

"You know I love you, but I cannot allow you to keep doing this. Now, I need a promise from you, little one, right here, right now."

"R-Right here...right now...?" She repeated, unable to believe that her best friend was asking this from her.

"Yes, little girl. If you can't make a cross my heart promise...I hate to say that this will be our last conversation like this; the next time we'll talk will be if or when we see one another in the flesh again," He explained gently, kneeling down across from her, still holding her gaze.

"Why?" Monica asked miserably, the tears blurring her vision.

"It's what the Father is asking of me, sweetheart, and I have to abide by it," He replied regretfully, tears brimming in his own emerald eyes,

"Believe me, I want to continue talking with you like this until I see you again, but if you keep trying to take your life..." He stopped talking and shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"How am I supposed to do that, Andy? Tell me how I'm supposed to make this promise!" She burst out, covering her face with her hands again.

"You're supposed to make it because you love me and I am asking it of you, sweetheart and I know that you can do it," He told her gently.

"Do you know how hard it is for me down there? Every minute without you is like an eternity, do you realize that?" She asked shakily.

"Yes, baby, I do. Don't you know that I watch over you all the time, Angel Girl?" He uttered, tears stinging his eyes.

"You…You do?" She whispered, raising her head to look into his eyes once more.

"Yes. I hear every word you say, Mon' and see every tear you cry and wish more than anything I could wipe each one away and one day I hope to be able to do just that. When and if I'm ever able to hold you again, sweetheart, I'm not letting you go."

"Cross your heart?" Monica whimpered miserably as she looked up into his own sad eyes.

"I double cross it, my girl. I double cross it," He replied gently, wanting more then anything to go over to her and hold her right now, but also knowing that there was no way. So he settled on the words instead,

"It'll take alot to get me to release you once I'm able to hold you again, Monica..." He watched as his dearest friend burst into fresh sobs and weakly nodded her head,

"Do we have a promise, little one?"

Looking straight into his compassionate green eyes, Monica had to force out the next words and as soon as they escaped she knew there was no turning back,

"I-I cross my h-heart, A-Andy..." Lowering her head, she burst into tears and covered her face with her hands. Once she opened them moments later, she saw that her best friend was gone once again.

Tess watched in shock as the little Irish angel somehow forced her swollen eyes open a moment later, though the strong sedative was making it hard for her to keep them open.

"Tess?" She whispered hoarsely.

Exchanging a worried glance with Rose, Tess took the angel's limp hand into her own,

"What is it, Angel baby?"

Completely drowsy, she struggled to form the words,

"I-I won't do it again…I promised, A…."

"She promised Andrew," Rose uttered, as Monica dropped back off to sleep unable to finish the sentence, but Rose knew what she had been about to say,

"Tess, you don't think…?"

"I don't know, baby. I know she dreams about him, but after tonight, I'll take any promise she wants to give," Closing her eyes for a moment, unsure if her Angel Girl was dreaming or if somehow Andrew was reaching out to her, she whispered softly,

"Thank you, Angel Boy, thank you."

*****

"She promised to not do it again?" Philip's dark eyes widened in shock later that evening after Carla and Kevin had gone to bed and he, Tess and Rose were sitting in front of the fireplace talking,

"She actually said that...?"

"It sure sounded that way, honey," Rose nodded her head in utmost relief,

"She may had been half asleep, but I fully believe with all my heart that our Angel Boy reached out to her and made her promise..."

"I wouldn't put it past him, Rose," Tess replied, leaning back against the couch,

"You know the connection those two babies always shared, and although our Angel Girl has said that she can no longer feel Andrew...I believe that he appears in her dreams and talks to her about what she's feeling. Earlier, I would've thought that Monica would attempt this again, but when she said that she promised Andrew...I felt this sense of relief fill me, you know, Rose?"

The older angel nodded her head in agreement,
”Yes, I did too, and not just for Monica, but for myself too; for all of us. If what we are thinking is true, then Andrew is at least close, if only to her. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss him terribly, but it doesn’t feel quite so hopeless with knowing he may be communicating with his Angel Girl.”

“But if this has been happening, then why is she still so heart broken?” Philip asked softly.

“Because she only sees or hears him when sleep comes, baby,” Tess replied with a sad smile,
”And because that is what she believes they are: dreams, and she’s afraid to believe that they are anything but that. I’m not going to convince her differently in the event they stop for any reason.”

“Then if that is what she thinks they are, what is to stop her from trying something like this again?” He asked worriedly.

“She won’t risk breaking a promise to him, in the event they aren’t dreams,” Rose replied thoughtfully,
”Now if he could only work on her damaged relationship with the Father…”

"The Lord does move in mysterious ways, baby," Tess answered with a slight shrug of her shoulders,

"We never know what will happen...but I hope that baby sees the Light soon; the sooner, the better."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Kevin walked out onto the front porch before dawn the next morning and sat down heavily on the porch swing, his thoughts on everything but sleep. Ever since his friends arrived back at the Sullivan's and took over in trying to get Monica to sleep, the youngest angel remained wide awake, unable to even think about falling asleep after what had happened that evening,

'I can't lose her, too,' He thought to himself, looking up at the star-filled sky,

'I just can't...why did she do this in the first place?'

Closing his dark eyes, the angel thought back to when he had pulled Tess' car up next to Andrew's and seeing Monica sobbing hysterically at the wheel with Sam in the passenger's seat. Instantly, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that his Irish friend had tried to end her life once more, and if the Angel's Angel hadn't intervened right then, she would have done just that.

Hearing the front door open, he looked up wearily and was surprised to see Monica come out on the porch. She looked remarkably calmer than when he had last seen her, though the aura of sadness still surrounded her.

"I heard the swing creaking," She said softly, her eyes briefly meeting his,

"May I join you?"

"You know you can," He replied gently, moving over to make room for her.

Monica was quiet for a moment before reaching for his hand and squeezing it tightly in her own,

"I'm sorry about last night, but thank you for bringing me home," Looking over at him, she could see the tears just beneath the surface in his eyes and she knew she needed to continue,

"I told you I would try not to do something like that again, and I'm afraid I didn't try very hard last night, Kev," She drew in a shaky breath, remembering the dream she had last night,

"But that was the last time, I promise."

The youngest angel looked over at her with wide eyes and tried to at least smile a little bit for her sake, but it didn't appear,

"What made you change your mind?"

Monica lowered her eyes down to the ground all the while still holding onto Kevin's hand, and drew in a shaky breath,

"You probably won't believe me, but..."

"I'll believe you, Monica," Kevin interrupted, his voice laced with sadness.

Sighing softly, the Irish angel looked back up at the dark sky and replied in a quiet whisper,

"Andrew appeared in my dreams again, Kev...and he made me promise to not do it anymore, or else...or else he wouldn't be able to communicate with me while I'm asleep again..." Blinking back a round of tears, she lowered her eyes to their conjoined hands and fell silent.

"Why would you ever think I wouldn't believe you?" Kevin asked softly, squeezing her hand tightly.

She shrugged her shoulders though it felt as if the weight of the world were upon them,

"It just seems a little crazy…making a promise to a dream is all. But they seem so real…"

Kevin was quiet for a moment before he spoke up again,

"Well, whatever it was, I'm glad to hear you promise you aren't going to try to take your own life again. You scared me half to death last night, Monica," He paused, looking a little uncomfortable but then a silent resolve shone in his eyes,

"You know, I hated the fact that I didn't tell Andrew enough how I felt about him and last night I realized I had done the same with you and I do not want to make the same mistake twice." He turned to face her in this rare display of emotion as he took her other hand in his as tears shimmered in his eyes,

"You're like a sister to me, Monica and I don't want to lose you as well because I don't know what I'd do. You can drive me nuts sometimes, but I love you and I want to help you anyway I can. As hard as this has been for me, because I loved Andrew so much too, I didn't know him for 100 years, like you did, and I can see how lost you are without him. Let me help you keep this promise you made in your dream last night. Talk to me when it gets to be too much, please?"

"What if I said that it's too much right now?" She whispered back in reply, turning her dark eyes to meet his own sad ones,

"I didn't want to make that promise, Kevin, but you know I would do anything for Andy..."

"I know," Kevin nodded his head in understanding as he squeezed his friend's hands firmly.

"And...and the more I think about only being able to see him in my dreams, but still not able to touch him...and the thoughts that may be the only time I'll ever be able to communicate with him...it makes me want to do it more, Kevin. But after I promised...I can't," She shook her head miserably as her tears spilled over once more,

"Kev...please, help me...I can't go through this by myself..."

"You're not," Kevin choked out as he released her hands and hugged her tightly to him,

"You're not going through it alone, Cupcake..."

"In the dream…Andrew said he was…watching over me all the time…I wish…I wish I could be stronger for him…" She wept softly.

"He understands, Cupcake," He whispered to her shakily,

"Dreams or not, he understands."

"It's just that…every day, Kevin, it feels like I have to remind myself to take my next breath and that is all the further ahead I can focus…just one breath at a time…the thought of facing a whole day without him is too overwhelming," Monica managed to say,

"I never thought missing someone could feel physically painful…"

"You've known him for over 100 years, Monica," Kevin uttered into her tangled auburn hair,

"Nobody has ever known someone that long...I think this is probably more painful then how humans feel; we never knew that angels could die until 7 months ago..."

"Has it...really been that long?" The Irish angel whispered into his shoulder as she clung tightly to him,

"I can't believe...I can't believe it's been 7 months..."

"I know, Monica...and I'll do all I can to help us both through this," The youngest angel replied tearfully,

"We'll help each other, I promise." Not receiving a reply, he finally pulled away and grasped her shoulders with trembling hands,

"And we both have got to get on the right track with the Father, sooner or later. There's no question about it-"

"Kev, how many times do I have to say that I can't?" Monica interrupted, some anger filling her eyes at the mere mention of God.

He was quiet for a moment, sensing her anger,

"One breath at a time, okay? I'm upset with Him too and I won't push you, I promise," He replied, not wanting any tension between them right now.

Monica lowered her head, needing to change the subject,

"I need to figure out what to do about Christmas…I can't do another day like yesterday, Kevin. I can't pretend to celebrate a holiday that I can't even feel right now…"

"I know," He replied softly, rubbing her shoulders gently,

"Maybe…maybe you and I can take off for somewhere for it? I think everyone plans on going back to the Sullivan's for Christmas. Maybe you and I could head to the beach house and just have a quiet day with no pomp and circumstance, you know?"

"But without Andy..." Monica whimpered softly, lowering her head in misery.

"I know, Cupcake," Kevin nodded his head sadly as he blinked back more tears,

"But there's really nothing we can do about that right at this moment; what we can do, is not celebrate, just be by ourselves. What do you say?"

Monica lifted a trembling hand to wipe at her red and swollen eyes as she contemplated over everything her co-worker and younger friend was saying. Although a part of her couldn't stand the thought of the first Christmas without her best friend, she also didn't miss the urgency and pleading in Kevin's dark eyes. Finally, after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, the Irish angel looked into his face and nodded her head reluctantly,

"All right." Taking a deep breath and letting it out shakily, she repeated,

"All right."

*****

"Andrew, can I tell you something?" Monica whispered, as she sat on the floor across from him.

"You know the answer to that one, sweetie," He replied gently, his eyes holding warmth and love for the little Irish angel, even as he wished he could erase the grief from her dark eyes.

She was quiet for a moment, before uttering quietly,

"I'm really scared."

Getting as close to her as he could, he looked into her eyes,

"Of what, little one?"

"When I wake up it will be Christmas Eve…I've always spent it with you, Andy…I'm not sure of how to get through it this year…" Tears shimmered in her eyes as she lowered them once more.

Tears also brimming in his own emerald eyes, Andrew lowered his head sadly before lifting it and looking into her saddened eyes,

"Just take it one step at a time, little girl. I may not be there with you physically, but I'll be in your heart the entire time, I promise. You can even wear my entire wardrobe if you want to." He offered her a tender, sweet smile, although the sadness never left either of their eyes.

"I'm planning on it, Andy..." She replied, wiping away as many tears as possible,

"But just not being there with you...physically, I mean; this is the first year, and I'm scared to death..."

"That's why you'll be spending those few days at the beach house with Kevin, though, sweetheart, so that the pain won't be so intense," Andrew offered, wanting more then anything to hold her and wipe away her tears,

"Just try to think of tomorrow as any other day, Mon, and you will get through it. Trust me."

"There is no such thing as 'any other day' anymore, Andrew," Monica replied with a trembling breath,

"They are all just days without you and I hate every single one," She felt a lump rising to her throat as her eyes brimmed with more tears,

"It's been 8 months, Andrew and it still feels like the very first day."

"I know it does, baby girl; it does for me too," He whispered softly to her, his heart aching as she blinked and the tears spilled over.

"Andrew…I-I'm starting to forget…I'm starting to forget what it feels like to have your arms around me…" She whimpered miserably,

"I used to be able to close my eyes and remember…but…it's getting harder to do that now…I can't really remember and I want to…" Lowering her head into her shaking hands, she wept softly.

Andrew's heart broke as he heard the soft weeping from his best friend and although he kept asking the Father to allow him to hold her just one time, he kept hearing the same answer,

'Not yet.'

'Why, though?' He spoke silently, lifting his green eyes upwards,

'What would it hurt, Father?'

'Trust Me, My son,' He heard the answer come down to his heart,

'Just trust Me right now.'

"Monica, please...please...I wish I could hold you more then anything; but I can't, I just can't," He whispered, his voice choking up with each word.

"I miss you so, so much, Andrew...just so much..." The little angel continued weeping, never once lifting her head,

"Not only have I forgotten what y-your arms feel like, but everything...everything around me reminds me of you. Your bedroom, your clothing...the way your hands feel...Andy, I miss you so much..."

Her pain tore at his gentle heart, and not just now but each and every day. He had always known she had loved him, but now he was clearly seeing how deeply it went and though he would be forever grateful for the gift of it, right now it was causing her so much torment,

"I miss you too, my dear, sweet Angel Girl," He uttered sadly, trying to think of anything he could say to bring her some small comfort.

"Andrew…I just…I just hurt…clear down to my soul it just aches with missing you and no one really understands how bad it is. They try and I know that they miss you too, but to not be able to feel you in my heart when I always could before…it feels so empty…like there is this giant void that is never going to be filled again…" She broke down completely and for a moment was unable to continue,

"I just want to be where you are and I know I promised you and I'll somehow keep that promise, but it's so hard…every minute is so hard…and I'm afraid of forgetting more of you…I've forgotten how your holding me feels…how long before I forget something else?"

"Oh Monica, I wish I could take this pain from you; I want that more than anything, baby," He closed his eyes against tears,

"Do something for me tomorrow? It's going to be a beautiful day and when you wake up, I want you to go outside at 9:00 and stand in that open area right outside the cabin, okay? You'll feel the sun just as it gets directly above you and you'll feel the warmth from it, little girl. Let that be your hug from me. You'll remember. I promise."

"At 9:00?" She repeated, finally lifting her head to look at him and she watched as he nodded his head, his eyes still filled with love, compassion and sadness all mixed in one,

"I-I'll do it, Andy..." She choked on her next words as she attempted to speak,

"Do you know...how much longer this will last...?"

Andrew shook his head as tears threatened his eyes once more,

"I wish I did, sweetheart, but I don't. I really have no idea..."

At his words, Monica forced herself to not break down again; instead, she forced herself to nod her head miserably,

"I'll be outside the c-cabin at 9 then..."

"And I'll be waiting, baby girl," The older angel replied, looking straight into her eyes,

"I'll be waiting."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

“What do you mean you two are going elsewhere for Christmas?” Tess demanded early Christmas Eve morning as she stood in the kitchen with Kevin, Rose, Philip and Carla the next morning,
”And just when was this decided?”

“The day after Thanksgiving, Tess,” Kevin explained, relieved that Monica had slipped outside at nearly 8:00 and was missing this discussion,
”We just need a quiet holiday is all…Thanksgiving was a nightmare and I’m not up to a repeat of it and I know Monica isn’t.”

“I thought we’d all get through it together,” Carla uttered, hurt in her green eyes as she looked at him from where she sat at the table.

“I know you did, Carla,” He tried his best to be gentle, despite the fact that Tess was frustrating him,
”But it isn’t the best thing right now. I know this sounds incredibly selfish, but I just need to get her and I through today and tomorrow. I know that everyone is hurting with this being the first Christmas without Andrew, but sometimes when you’re hurting it’s hard to face the grief of those around you and still be able to deal with your own.”

“You’re right, Kevin,” Tess snapped, her dread of this holiday fueling her temper,
”It does sound selfish.”

“Tess,” He began, his voice controlled as he tried to keep the anger from it,
”Do you even remember how awful Thanksgiving was? We almost lost her that day for the second time and though she has promised not to try anything like that again, I at least want to make keeping that promise as simple as possible right now. The Sullivan’s are going to have a tree with all the decorations, for the twins, if nothing else, and I don’t really want to see that right now, and I’m not about to let her see it.”

"Kevin," Tess heatedly replied, narrowing her dark eyes,

"You two are coming with us, end of discussion-"

"No, we are not," Kevin interrupted, his anger slowly starting to rise within him. How dare Tess say stuff like this?

"And now that I think about it, we're not the ones being selfish; it's you that's only thinking about yourself right now, Tess! I know that you're upset, but you have no right to take your anger out on us when Monica and I only want to get away from the holidays and spend it quietly at the beach house!"

"Don't take that tone with me, baby," The older angel started to lecture before Rose jumped in and raised her voice above the two angry angels.

"Okay, okay, that's enough!" The Search and Rescue angel looked back and forth between Tess and Kevin, her blue eyes slowly starting to brim with tears as she listened to the bickering,

"That's enough, both of you!"

“Rose, I’m not about to let them-.” Tess began heatedly, but the older angel raised a hand to stop her as Philip looked on nervously.

“Tess, listen to yourself, please and better yet, listen to Kevin,” Rose said as gently as she could,
”Let’s not make today harder than it has to be. Just because we want to be around others today as a possible distraction from missing that Angel Boy, doesn’t mean that they do.”

“Rose is right,” Philip stated softly, seeing the relieved look on Kevin’s face at having some backup.

“It’s a day none of us are looking forward to, but we should all be together!” Tess snapped, her eyes troubled.

“No, Tess,” Kevin replied with a soft sigh,
”While we know the significance of Christmas, we aren’t up to celebrating it by taking part in a gathering, a meal and gifts. Ever since I became a caseworker, I’ve had Andrew around for the holidays and its too hard right now knowing that this is the first one without him. Monica can’t even deal with today or tomorrow, as the aspect of a whole two days right now is too overwhelming for her. From what she told me an hour or a minute is too overwhelming; she takes it one breath at a time without Andrew. So please, allow us to handle this our way, which is the best that we can do.”

Seeing Tess lower her head upon hearing his words, Rose wrapped her arm around the youngest angel’s shoulders,
”I understand, honey. Andrew would be proud of you for becoming so protective of his Angel Girl.”

Tears flooded the younger angel’s eyes at her words,

”All I ever wanted to do was to make him proud of me, Rose. The three of us were a team and he would want me to be looking after her and I’m going to.”

"And you're doing a really good job at it, honey, a really good job," Rose whispered back, tears also filling hr blue eyes as she hugged the young angel close to her,

"You made him proud of you more then you know, Kevin..."

Unable to listen anymore, Tess kept her away away from her angelic friends and hurried out the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind her as she went. As she watched her disappear, Carla also rose to her feet and with a tearful look at her friends, made her way after the older angel, soon finding her in the living room staring at the fireplace.

"Tess, are you all right?" She quietly asked, forcing herself to not cry.

"I'll be fine, Angel Child," Tess replied immediately, never turning her eyes away from the flickering flames in the fireplace.

"I know you were expecting them to be with us today and tomorrow, but I suppose I understand where Kevin is coming from," She said sadly,

"We each have to handle this our own way, and it is better than each of them going off on their own. At least they'll have each other."

"I know that, Carla," Tess sighed wearily, finally meeting the younger angel's eyes and trying not to wince at their emerald green color,

"I guess I'm just a little frustrated and a little sad is all. Kevin has done a lot of relying on you to get through this and also some leaning on Monica, as much as he can, and she is relying on him and no one else really. I guess I was hoping to be able to help those two babies more than they are allowing me to."

"I know, Tess and I've actually thought about this a lot. I've been fortunate that Kev has allowed me to be there for him as we've grown close over the years and I'm glad to see him acting like a protective brother to Monica as it hasn't always been smooth sailing for those two and I agree that Andrew would be so proud of him, even though it is sad that it took this for them to grow closer…" She lowered her head sadly,

"But Monica is not really letting me in either and I don't know why…"

"It's those green eyes of yours, baby," Tess remarked softly,

"There isn't a one of us who can look in them and not think about that Angel Boy."

Carla's eyes brimmed with tears as she made her way closer to the older angel and laid a hand on her shoulder,

"At times like this, I wish the Father would change the color..."

"I'm sorry, baby, but every time I took into them...I just see that boy, and it's so hard," Tess continued, tears filling her eyes as well as she turned her head away and towards the mantal. Her eyes traveled to the pictures lined up on the fireplace and her dark eyes landed on a picture of her and her two Angel Babies. The eldest angel was in the middle, her arms wrapped around each of them and their foreheads were leaned in towards hers. Lifting a trembling hand, the supervisor reached out and traced the outline of Andrew's handsome face,

"I do miss him more then I'm letting on, Carla..."

"I know, Tess," Carla whispered, her hand gently rubbing the angel's shoulder,

"We all know."

"Sometimes I think I can imagine how that Angel Girl must be feeling, because of how much pain I'm feeling inside..." She continued, her eyes never leaving the picture,

"But then there are times when I just don't know..."

"I think she is hurting more deeply than she can put into words, Tess. They were so incredibly close and despite all the hard times they went through in their friendship, their relationship was all the more stronger for those times. I keep thinking about how devastated Andrew was when she fell a few years back and that was only for a few days…she's endured eight months without him…we all have, but…I can't even imagine how she is feeling," Carla whispered, her eyes glistening with tears,

"No guilt on them today, Tess, okay? Neither one of them need it and I don't think Monica could take it…"

"You're right, baby," Tess replied tearfully, wrapping her arm around the angel and drawing her close,

"What's important is that we all get through today and tomorrow, whether we're together or not." Gazing up at the clock, she sighed,

"I hope she's all right…she went out at 8:00 and it's nearly 9:00 now."

"Maybe she just needed a little time alone before she and Kevin leave," Carla offered, wiping at her eyes,

"Especially with as hard as the next two days are going to be…I just hope we all get through it."

*****

Monica looked up at the morning sky at 9:00AM and just like Andrew had told her in her dreams the previous night, the sun was just rising and she felt the warmth of the rays on her tear-streaked face. Slumping down on her knees on the ground, the Irish angel watched as the beautiful sun kept rising and she wanted to sob all over again as she remembered her best friend's words to her...

That this was his hug for her, when he couldn't physically do it.

"Oh Andy..." She whispered tearfully, letting out a choked sob as she closed her eyes,

"I...I feel it...and I miss you so horribly..." As she felt the warmth of the sunshine beat down on her, she lowered her forehead down to the ground as she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that that was her dearest friend's way of letting her know that he loved her too, and that he missed her just as much,

"How...how do I handle these next two days...? I-It's the first Christmas without you, Andy..."

As she continued weeping, the Irish angel wished that she could feel her best friend reassuring her, but all she felt was the sun shining down on her and bathing her in sunshine. Blinking her eyes rapidly, she lifted them back up to the sky and squinted in the brightness,

"I love you so much...I love you so much..."

Shakily, she stood to her feet, her heart aching and now starting to wonder if she was slowly starting to lose her mind. The line between the reality of Andrew being gone and the fantasy of the dreams was becoming extremely fine and she was starting to have trouble knowing the difference. She was making promises to dreams and doing things that he told her to do in dreams, but she knew that was all that they were. So was it a sign of insanity that she was acting on these fantasies that occurred at night when she fell asleep? Had Andrew’s death affected her so deeply that she could no longer keep herself in the here and now all the time and instead had to travel to a place in her mind where they could at least be together for a few moments?

Shivering slightly in the cold December air, as well as from suddenly feeling a little afraid as to what was happening to her, she pulled Andrew’s leather jacket more tightly around her and slowly headed back up the steps to the cabin, each step an effort for her as forcing herself to exist each day was becoming more and more difficult for her.

Tess looked up as her Angel Girl entered the cabin, not missing the shiny paths the tears had made on her pale face. Clearing her throat, she spoke up gently, hoping to steal a moment with her other Angel baby, the one who was still here, though barely,
”What time are you two headed out, sweetheart?”

Crossing her arms in front of her and drawing in a trembling breath, Monica took a seat on the stool in front of the fire, trying to warm away a chill that had been with her for eight months now,
”Soon, I think.” She whispered numbly, not looking up, as she felt the lump of grief and intense loneliness rising to her throat.

Tess walked over to stand beside of her former charge and laid gentle hands on her shoulders,

"We'll miss you the next few days, but we understand, baby..."

Instead of replying, the weary Irish angel just nodded her head and then lowered it to her hands. Watching this, the older supervisor pulled up a second stool and took a seat next to her friend, her hand never leaving Monica's shoulder,

"You two babies take care of yourselves now, all right?" But once again, the little Irish angel just nodded her head numbly and didn't say anything,

"Angel Girl...I wish I knew what to say to lighten the mood around here-"

"There isn't, Tess," Monica finally spoke up, shooting a quick glance at the older angel,

"Only if Andrew was here..."

Lowering her head as well as she heard her friend's words, Tess drew in a trembling breath and let it out slowly before finding the courage to reply to her,

"Angel Girl, if you or Kevin need anything...anything at all, while you're gone the next few days...don't hesitate to ask, baby girl, all right?"

"There's nothing I need that anyone here can give me," She whispered, tears welling up in her eyes,

"And right now, I just need to find a way to get through the next 48 hours when I have no idea of how to do that…" Her voice broke on a soft sob as she leaned her forehead against Tess's shoulder.

Relief flowed through the older angel at being given an opportunity to comfort her Angel Girl for the first time in months, as Monica hadn't allowed it for some time, and she quickly gathered the weeping angel in her arms. It was then that Tess did something she had not had the heart to do since Andrew had been taken away from them, but now it seemed the right thing to do. As she rocked the little angel in her arms, she began to softly sing,

"I really want to see you,

I really want to touch you.

If only I could hold you in my arms again.

I really want to reach you,

Forever to be with you

If only I could hold you in my arms again.

It was written in the stars

On the pages of my heart

Oh that someday I would find

The love I feel for you tonight.

On the ocean of our dreams,

Like a prayer you came to me.

And the longing that had been

Found its ending in your eyes.

And I am missing you tonight.

I really want to see you,

I really want to touch you.

If only I could hold you in my arms again.

I really want to reach you,

Forever to be with you

If only I could hold you in my arms again.

Across the waves, across the sea

Separating you from me

Here's a promise and it's mine.

I will love you for all time.

I'm wishing you were here tonight.

I really want to see you,

I really want to touch you.

If only I could hold you in my arms again.

I really want to reach you,

Forever to be with you

If only I could hold you in my arms again."

"Tess..." Monica whispered through her tears as she heard her former supervisor's rich voice singing softly into her ear. Closing her eyes tightly, she gave way to even more soft sobs as she clutched tightly to her friend,

"Oh Tess...I want him here to much..."

Resting her cheek on the little angel's head as she continued rocking her gently for the next few minutes, the older angel didn't look up until she heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. Gently pulling away from her Angel Girl, Tess wiped away the tears on Monica's face before turning around and seeing Kevin watching them quietly. Lowering her head in a bit of shame over the tone she had taken with the youngest angel not too long ago, the supervisor rose to her feet and greeted him softly,

"Hello, baby."

Kevin nodded his head at Tess and briefly looked into her eyes before turning to face his Irish friend, who was still sitting on the stool,

"Everything's in the car, Monica," He stated quietly, his voice laced with utmost sadness,

"I'm ready whenever you are, all right?"

Sniffling softly, Monica nodded her head,

"I just need to go up and get Molly," She whispered, shakily rising to her feet. Looking to Tess once more, she uttered in a quiet trembling voice,

"Thank you…" Before lowering her eyes and heading to the stairs, hesitating only briefly when Kevin reached out and squeezed her hand.

As Monica headed upstairs, Tess turned her eyes to the youngest angel and spoke quietly,

"I'm sorry about earlier, baby. Rose was right and you need to do what you feel is best for you two right now. I was just disappointed in not getting to see either of you two for Christmas either."

"I know, Tess," He replied softly, taking the stool the Irish angel had abandoned,

"But she and I need to treat it like any other day this year. A regular day is hard enough…to see a tree and all that stuff would be unbearable."

"I understand, Angel Child," Tess replied with a soft sigh as she reached over to gently rub the youngest angel's back,

"I understand why now...none of us are putting up a tree either, although there will be one at the Sullivan's..."

"Tess, I really don't even want to talk about Christmas or trees, or even decorations for that matter," He quetly interrupted with a shake of his head,

"Give the Sullivan's our love, though, even though Monica and I won't be there."

"Of course, baby," The elderly angel choked out as she felt tears brimming in her dark eyes. She was about to say something else when Monica appeared at the foot of the staircase once more with Molly wrapped in her arms and her eyes were still swollen from crying.

"I...I'm ready," She quietly whispered, looking at each of her fellow angels in turn. She fell silent as Kevin nodded his head and rose to his feet to make his way over to her.

"We'll return in two days, Tess," Kevin spoke up with a look at the eldest angel as he opened the front door for Monica.

"Take care of yourselves, Angel Babies," Tess replied tearfully as she attempted a tiny smile for all of their sakes. She watched as Kevin nodded his head in reply before turning around and following the Irish angel out the door.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Carla managed a small smile the next morning, as they watched Jason and Ashley, with the help of their parents, tear into their gifts, grateful for the fact that the excited twins were at least a distraction at the moment. She had to chuckle at the fact that the little toddlers were more intrigued with the paper that the gifts were wrapped in then the gifts themselves, as no sooner did they open one, were they reaching to tear the colorful Christmas wrapping off another one.

"They're something, aren't they?" Rose said softly to her younger charge. Seeing Carla nod her head with a small smile, she sighed,

"Andrew would have loved to watch this. I think he, Monica and Kevin would have been right down there on the floor with them."

Wendy got up from where she had been sitting on the floor, helping Ashley tear into her gifts, to flop down on the couch with a sad look on her face,

"I think the holidays should have been outlawed this year," She muttered, not at all in the mood to celebrate anything.

Wrapping an arm around the teenager, Rose whispered lovingly, although her voice was also filled with some sadness,

"Nobody can take away a holiday, honey, no matter how rotten we feel."

"This is going to go down in history as the worst Christmas ever, Rose," Wendy replied back bitterly, leaning her head into her hands,

"And that's really rare that that ever occurs..."

"I know, Wendy," The Search and Rescue angel replied with a heavy sigh, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze,

"This holiday has been hard on all of us, which is why Monica and Kevin chose not to come here."

Wendy lifted a hand to wipe at her blue eyes and before she could reply, Brady spoke up from across the living room and in his hand was another package,

"Wendy, sweetie, you forgot a package." He shot a look over at Cindy and managed a small smile for his wife,

"It was sitting right over here with the twins' toys."

As Angel watched silently from across the room as she sat in an arm chair, Wendy accepted the flat package from her father and took a seat once more beside of Rose. As the elderly angel ran a hand through her long blond hair, the teenager wiped away the remainder of her tears before she began ripping open the package. Silence fell over the living room as she tore off the paper and tossed it to the floor, her trembling hands picking up the object in her lap.

Looking back at her was a picture frame of just her and Andrew, which was taken 2 Christmases ago. Santa hats were on both of their heads and the blond angel's arms were wrapped tightly around her. Wendy was laughing hysterically at the camera as she hugged her angelic friend tightly to herself.

Hot tears flooded her blue eyes as she looked up at her parents as she held the picture tightly against her,

"Thank you," She whispered tearfully.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," Brady replied softly, meeting his eyes with hers before he got up and went over to her. Pulling her to her feet, he wrapped his arms tightly around her,

"I love you, Wendy," He told her tenderly,

"I know how much you're hurting, so your mom and I wanted you to have a reminder of your special angelic friend."

"I-It's perfect," She uttered, tears streaking her pretty face,

"I love you too, daddy."

Rising to her feet, Cindy wrapped her arms around her daughter and husband as well, hugging them both close to her. Tears made their way down her face as she ran her fingers through Wendy's hair,

"We couldn't find a better picture of you two, baby...we know how much you love him..."

Unable to speak as the teenager sobbed against her father's shoulder, Wendy finally pulled away and looked through blurred vision at both of her parents,

"T-Thank you...thank you..." Feeling like her legs would give out from under her, the teenager slowly made her way back over to the couch and turned her eyes back to the picture. As she lifted a hand to touch the frame, she caught Rose looking at it over her shoulder and she turned her head to look at the eldest angel.

"Let's see that, honey," She whispered, tears burning in her eyes as well. As she gazed at the picture of her sweet Angel Boy and the teenager who loved him so much, Rose sighed softly,

"I've never even seen that one before..."

"Daddy took it during one of Andrew and Monica's visits with us," Wendy replied softly, with a sad smile,

"We were just being silly."

Tess chuckled softly as she shook her head,

"That Angel Boy could be completely serious when he wanted to be, baby, but when it was time to let loose, there was no telling what could happen."

"I know," Wendy replied with a soft sigh,

"I always loved to hear him laugh."

"I know," Angel replied, getting up to sit on the floor closer to the sofa,

"I miss hearing him laugh; I miss a lot of things right now."

"I miss his smile," Carla softly spoke up, sitting on the arm of the couch on the other side of Wendy, her green eyes on the photo in the teenager's hand,

"He always knew how to take a joke, and he never took it the wrong way..."

"But we'll always have these pictures to remember all of them by," Philip spoke up for the first time in the last couple of minutes,

"Nobody can ever take them away, or our memories of him. Nobody."

"I know..." Wendy choked out, never lifting her eyes off of her angelic friend,

"I love these pictures, Philip, but...they make me so sad; they make me want to cry again..."

"There's nothing wrong about crying, baby," Tess whispered, looking up at Brady and Cindy,

"Believe me, there's nothing wrong about crying, especially now. This is a tough time, and it's been a tough 8 months."

"I just sometimes wonder if things will ever feel anywhere near normal again," Cindy remarked sadly, with a shake of her head,

"I mean, I miss hearing laughter in this house on a regular basis. It happens occasionally, especially with Jason and Ashley around, but I think sometimes we feel guilty for it."

"Andrew wouldn't want that, Cindy," Rose replied shakily, but knowing she was speaking the truth,

"There was nothing that warmed that boy's heart more than hearing his friends laugh and enjoying themselves."

"It's been so long since I've heard laughter, period," Philip remarked with a sigh,

"I sure do miss it."

"I think we all do, baby," Tess replied softly,

"I guess we ought to try a little harder sometimes. I think that Angel Boy, wherever he is, would enjoy hearing it."

Gazing at the picture once more and the laughter in Andrew's green eyes, Wendy nodded her head as a tear slipped from her eye,

"I know he would, Tess. I know he would."

*****

"Merry Christmas, baby girl," Andrew greeted his best friend that night as he saw her walking towards him, getting as close as she could get. Even from where they stood though, he could clearly see the deep ache in her dark eyes and he knew that this day had been anything but merry.

"I didn't celebrate it, Andy; Kevin and I couldn't," Monica replied weakly with a shake of her auburn head,

"Not without you...it was too, too hard..."

"I know you didn't, Angel Girl; I saw you two from up here," Andrew answered back with a sad sigh, longing to wipe the sadness from her pretty face,

"But you see me now, little girl, and it's not midnight yet. It's still Christmas, so I think I can wish you a merry one."

Sensing that he was trying to make her smile, the little Irish angel couldn't bring herself to do that. Instead, she lowered her head and sank down onto the ground, looking down at her hands; she only looked up when she saw her dearest friend take a seat not far from her,

"What is it, Mon?"

"I...I'm sorry, I just can't smile right now, Andrew. Nothing makes me happy; not for eight long months..." She whispered tearfully, lifting a hand to wipe at the wetness in her eyes.

"I'm the one who is sorry, baby," He whispered to her tenderly,

"I'm sorry you are going through this at all."

"I feel so alone, Andrew," She whimpered softly, drawing her knees up to her chin,

"Just so incredibly alone…"

"You know you're never alone, sweetheart," He replied gently,

"No matter how much you want to deny Him, He's with you, Monica; especially now."

"I don't want to talk about that, Andrew, please?" Monica pleaded, resting her head in her folded arms,

"Anything but that."

"Sooner or later, we're going to have to talk about it, honey," Andrew gently prodded, his eyes on her tear-streaked face,

"You can't go on avoiding Him...it would be better to yell at Him and ask Him all the questions on your heart then to ignore Him altogther."

"But I'm so ANGRY at Him, Andrew," Monica burst out, turning her eyes to meet his emerald ones,

"So angry that I don't want to have anything to do with Him again! He's betrayed me...us..."

"No, that's where you're wrong, little girl," Andrew shook his head firmly, his eyes never leaving hers,

"He's kept all of His promises to us; He hasn't betrayed us." He watched as she shook her own head stubbornly and tightened her arms around her knees,

"Angel Girl, did you get the little gift I bought for you the day this all happened?"

"Y-Yes..." The weary Irish angel uttered, fingering her half of the necklace that she had worn around her neck since she had found it in Andrew's car.

"Did you read the inscription that was on it, sweetie?"

"Y-Yes…but…"

"He is watching out for us, Monica, during this time. He's giving us this time together, honey. His promise is that He will always be there and He is," Andrew told her, trying to be as gentle as he could be.

"But these are just dreams, Andy…" She choked out, tears trailing down her pale face,

"They aren't real…and…and I'm starting to think I'm losing my mind. I can't tell the difference anymore between what is real and what isn't real…"

"Oh sweetie, no. There is truth here, Angel Girl. There always has been," Andrew uttered, tears stinging his eyes over her pain and confusion.

"But it's truth I'm creating when I sleep…it's a safe place to be with you because my mind can't take being without you all the time," Softly, she began to weep,

"But what I don't understand is why if they are my dreams, why I can't touch you in them…I…I don't understand…no one understands…"

"Baby, to tell you the truth, I don't completely understand it myself," The older angel gently replied with a soft sigh,

"I really would love more then anything to touch you during these...but only the Father understands that, and although we can't feel one another, we can see each other. I see you right now, and you see me; I think that's enough for the moment...until we can actually do it in person..."

"That may never happen," Monica shook her head hard as her soft weeping continued to escalate.

"We don't know that, Angel Girl-"

"Andrew, it's been almost a year," She cried, never lifting her head,

"A year! What else am I supposed to think? My faith has completely shattered and so has my heart...it broke when He took you from me, and it hasn't repaired since!"

Silence filled the air between the two angels, before Andrew spoke up once more, his voice soft and gentle like always,

"What would it take, sweetheart, for you to believe again that this isn't the Father's fault?"

"Until He gives me an answer to why it happened in the first place. Then I'll think about it."

“Monica, look at me,” He requested softly, waiting until she had raised her head, her swollen eyes finding his,
”Little one, to understand why it happened, you need to talk to the Father. That’s your first step…”

“He took you away. Let Him talk to me,” She replied bitterly, another sob escaping her.

Andrew lowered his head sadly, not having the heart to scold her. He had never before seen her in more pain than she had been in the last eight months. The emptiness in her dark eyes, the sorrow that seemed to engulf her entire being, the attempts she had taken on her existence; it all broke his heart,
”Just think about it, Monica, okay?” He whispered tearfully, more than anything wanting to wrap his arms around her and allow her to cry against his shoulder, if only for tonight. Seeing her crying brokenly, alone, made him completely understand how incredibly lonely she was for him and he felt just as lonely for her,
”I love you so much, little Angel Girl; just so much. More than I think you even know.”

“D-Don’t go…” Monica begged through her sobs, seeing him beginning to fade once more and the pain she felt each time it happened, overwhelming her.

“I have to for now, baby, but I’m always with you, sweetheart. I know you can’t feel it, but I am; every hour of every day. You’ll see me again soon…”

As he faded from her, her tears only came harder as she buried her face in her hands,
”I only wish that were true, Andy,” She wept despairingly, wishing she had never made that promise to continue existing as her heart just wasn’t in it.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Who can say for certain
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be(?)

That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me from up above

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile to know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream
And isn't faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me everyday
'Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me from up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up
To where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

One year.

That's how long it had been that that cold April morning as Monica sat cross-legged on Andrew's bed, staring into space. One long year since her best friend had been taken from her in the blink of an eye. How could it had been that long? Because it just seemed like yesterday to the Irish angel.

"How...?" She whispered softly to herself with a shake of her head,

"How, Andrew?" Tears trailed down her pale face as she continued to look at the wall, her heart, though still filled intense grief, also filled with more anger towards the Father once more. Just like that morning when her best friend had died, that same anger had returned to her wounded heart. How could the Father had kept him away for one full year?

Rage unlike any she had ever felt before began to fill her as her shaking hands found a coffee mug that she had left sitting on the nightstand days ago. Tears blinding her, she threw it as hard as she could at the already shattered mirror, the glass breaking more as the coffee cup shattered with it. But her eyes widened in horror as the impact also shattered the glass frame of the poem she had written for him so long ago at the anniversary party. The shattering frame containing the poem fell off the dresser, knocking over several pictures at the same time.

Sobbing brokenly, she moved to the floor to pick it up, stabbing her hand with a piece of the glass in the process, but she ignored the pain. No pain was greater than the one that was in her heart right now as she held the shattered frame up against her, rocking back and forth in anguish as painful sob after painful sob emerged,

"W-Why? W-why?"

"What just happened in here?" Rose's voice appeared in the doorway and at the sight of the Irish angel, who was on her knees, rocking back and forth with the broken frame in her hands, the elderly angel's eyes flooded with tears as she saw the nasty cut on her palm,

"Oh dear Lord, Monica..." Hurrying over to her, she knelt down next to her and reached a hand out to grasp her hand.

Still off in her own world, Monica jumped at the feel of the older angel's hand and jerked her injured hand away from hers,

"L-Leave m-me alone...just leave me alone..." Lowering her head to the floor, she let loose of more sobs as she continued rocking back and forth,

"Why...why...?"

Her heart stabbing with grief all over again at the reminder that it had been one year ago today that their Angel Boy had been taken from them so violently, Rose allowed her tears to fall from her eyes as she reached her hand out again to try and grasp the Irish angel's hand into her own,

"Sweetheart..."

Monica didn't resist this time, though she continued to cry, the pain in her heart nearly paralyzing her, as she began to tremble,

"Andy…please come back to me…" She choked out, before all but doubling over with the intensity of her tears.

"Little Angel, lets take care of that hand downstairs," Rose whispered softly to her, seeing the amount of blood that was flowing from the cut,

"And I really think being with everyone is what is best for you right now," Rising to her feet, she helped the younger angel to stand as she wrapped an arm around her and held her close as she led her out of the room and down the stairs.

"What happened?" Kevin cried out, as Rose supported Monica as they came downstairs and he saw the blood that was trickling from her hand.

"Just a little accident, honey," Rose managed to reply through her own tears, leading Monica to the couch before the Irish angel collapsed.

Kevin rose to his feet instantly and took a seat next to the weeping angel as Rose hurried into the kitchen to grab some washcloths and gauze for her hand,

"Monica...that wasn't an accident...was it?"

Instead of replying, the Irish angel wrapped her left hand over her bleeding right one and gave way to more sobs as she shook her head,

"Andrew..." She finally choked out, keeping her eyes turned away from the youngest caseworker.

Fresh tears instantly filled Kevin's dark eyes at the mention of their friend again and he turned his eyes away to hide the intense sadness,

"Monica, please tell me you didn't try to-"

"No," She shakily replied with a shake of her head,

"I-I smashed...I smashed...the m-mirror...and...and..." Unable to continue, she let loose more tears and lowered her face into the couch cushions.

Realizing she was holding something, Kevin gently pried it from her arms, tears filling his eyes at the sight of the poem she had given Andrew, which was not only broken, but had a streak of blood from her hand on it,

"Cupcake, I'm sorry. I-I thought…"

"If I was going to slit my wrists, Kevin, I wouldn't have missed…" She snapped heatedly through her tears. Seeing the hurt fill his tear filled eyes, she burst into fresh tears as she moved to lean her forehead against his chest,

"I-I'm sorry…I'm sorry….Kevin…."

Wrapping his arms tightly around her as he saw Rose come out of the kitchen, closely followed by Tess, Philip and Carla, he replied gently,

"It's okay, kiddo…"

"Kevin…I….I don't think….I don't think he's ever coming back…." Monica managed to say before the violent sobs engulfed her once more.

"Don't say that, little angel, please..." Philip pleaded as he and Rose knealt down in front of the two angels,

"Please, don't say he's never coming back-"

"I just did," She snapped, the tears still flowing,

"And I believe he's never coming back! It's been one year. One full year today...I think he would have come back by now if the Father had intended it to happen..."

"Angel Girl, let's just get your hand fixed first and then we'll talk," Tess whispered lovingly, although her voice was laced with tears.

"I can't talk anymore..." Monica uttered miserably, not paying any attention as Rose started to clean the cut on her hand,

"I-I've talked p-plenty this past year...I don't need to say a-anymore..."

"I think you do, Monica," Philip whispered, laying his hand gently on her knee and squeezing.

Seeing her shake her head as she lowered it, the gentle angel persisted,

"You need to get out what you are feeling, sweetness…"

"You want to know what I'm feeling, Philip?" Monica uttered, her voice not angry, only filled with complete anguish,

"I'm feeling angrier than I've ever felt before at God…for taking him away, for keeping him away for a year…I'm feeling lost without Andrew…I want him to hold me and tell me it's all going to be okay…I'm feeling like I want my existence to be completely over as I don't want to do this anymore…I'm tired…tired of hurting, tired of crying, tired of being without him," The painful words tumbled out in a rush of pain, as tears continued to fall from her eyes,

"I think…I think I'm losing my mind, Philip….I see him every night when I dream and I…I know that is all they are…but I listen to them….no matter how much it hurts when he leaves again and again, night after night…he leaves my existence, just like he did that day…and every time it hurts all over again…I just want to stay there with him…but he is always taken away and I wake up without him again…."

A silence filled the living room as each angel allowed Monica to speak from her heart, although each word was painful to hear,

"Why couldn't God had taken me instead? Why did it have to be Andrew? Does He have to pick and choose which angel to kill?"

"Angel Girl, that's not how it works-" Tess began through her own tears, but was silenced by a look from Rose and she shut her mouth with a snap. Turning her attention back to the weeping Irish angel, she fell silent once more.

"Each time...each time I try to reach out and t-touch him...he just starts fading away; God won't let me touch him, and I may never be able to again," She continued brokenly,

"I-I never even got to say goodbye a year ago...I never got to hug him...that-that makes me so angry, and it makes me never want to talk to God again."

"But sweetness, if you do talk to Him, then maybe He'll give you an answer," Philip interjected softly, squeezing her knee,

"And maybe...and maybe then He'll bring Andrew back to you. To us-"

"I'm too afraid and angry to talk to Him," She whimpered, feeling Kevin rubbing her back gently,

"If I talk to Him…and then He doesn't bring Andrew back…." She drew in a tearful breath,

"It would feel completely final…there would be nothing left to hope for and I don't think I could…stand that…I'm barely here now, Philip, and I don't want to be…but to not have God answer me or to answer me with telling me he isn't coming back…there wouldn't be anything at all left for me here…"

"But maybe the Father would tell you 'yes', honey," Rose offered gently, all the while wrapping the angel's hand with gauze.

"How can I risk it?" Monica whispered through tears, looking at each one of them through blurred vision,

"Don't misunderstand me…I love you all…and I know I haven't been the easiest angel to be around…I just miss him so much…and I need him so much…and everyday, I'm not sure if I can face another day without him…" Lowering her face to her hands, she gave way to fresh sobs.

"We've made it this far, baby girl, we can't give up now," Tess replied as gently as she could, although her heart ached at the angel's words.

"I'm ready to give up, Tess," Monica wept, not lifting her head,

"How much more of this can I do? I should just expect the worse and let it be done with-"

"No, Cupcake, you can't," Kevin pleaded with his friend as his hand continued rubbing her back gently,

"What would Andrew think if you gave up on him?"

"Those are dreams, Kevin; none of them are real. He's not really there. It's only in my imagination," The Irish angel interrupted,

"I-I can't keep hoping he'll come back when it's not true..." Noticing that Rose had finished wrapping her hand, she pulled away from Kevin and stood up from the couch, her legs shaking madly,

"Excuse me...I want to be alone..."

Helplessly watching Monica slip quietly out the front door, Philip lowered his head sadly,

"She's giving up," He whispered.

"Can you blame her?" Kevin replied, wiping at his eyes,

"It's been a year… a year…"

"I still can't believe it has been that long," Rose uttered softly, shaking her head as she let out a heavy sigh.

"I just wish I knew of something that would help," Carla spoke up for the first time, as she had wanted her former supervisor to just be able to speak what was on her heart,

"But I don't think there is anything."

"You're giving up too?" Philip turned towards the little blond angel with the big green eyes incredulously,

"You and Kevin are just going to give up, is that what I'm hearing?"

"Tell us what else there is to do, Philip," Kevin demanded, his eyes filling with hot tears again,

"Although I'm almost as angry as Monica is at God, I have tried praying for her, but that hasn't helped. We've all tried talking to her, and it hasn't helped. What else can we do, huh?"

Drawing in a sharp breath, Philip lowered his dark eyes and turned away from his friends,

"I don't know, but I'm not giving up on her...or the fact that I think we will get Andrew back someday."

"That's the word I hate," Carla jumped in again, rising to her feet,

"I hate that word 'someday'. We may someday get him back, and we may someday get Monica back; but none of us know for sure! All I do know is that this is driving me crazy, and I feel like I'm losing a little part of myself each day." Shaking her head as tears filled her green eyes, the angel turned back towards the kitchen and disappeared behind the door.

Rising to his feet as well to go after Carla, Kevin turned back to Philip once more,

"I don't know what else to do, Philip. We've lost Andrew and little by little, we are losing Monica too. She's losing herself in all of this and before too long; she is going to be unreachable. I see it a little bit more every day in her and frankly I'm surprised at the way she opened up for a few minutes today as that is a rare thing anymore." Turning away, he too, vanished into the kitchen.

Silence prevailed in the living room for several moments, before Rose spoke up softly,

"Don't take it personally, Philip. Everyone is upset today; more so than usual," Picking up the broken framed poem, she sighed softly as she ran her hand over it.

"I just wish that there was something we could do, Rose, or something we could say," He replied, his voice laced with regret,

"If we could get that little angel to bounce back, even a little, it would help everyone."

Taking a seat in the spot Monica had just occupied, Tess let out a trembling breath as she reached for her charge's hand and squeezed it gently,

"Knowing that Angel Baby as well as I do, Philip, I think the only thing that could bounce her back is for Andrew to return. And obviously, that hasn't happened, baby..."

Rose's blue eyes scanned over the framed poem and she let out a heavy sigh as she read over it several times,

"I remember the day she gave this to him, Tess...the day of his party..."

Her eyes filling with sadness, Tess nodded her head as she replied quietly,

"So do I, baby...I just wish we could all go back to that morning, when everyone was happy. Just seeing the looks on those two babies faces..." She stopped talking as her voice started to get choked up,

"Just to think I may never even hear them smile or laugh again...I can't imagine it, Rose."

Taking her friend's free hand in hers, the Search and Rescue angel replied softly,

"Neither can I, Tess. Neither can I."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

"You're quiet," Andrew stated softly, his pained green eyes on his best friend who had not uttered a word so far this visit.

Monica looked up at him, her pale face a mask of sorrow and deep pain,

"I have something to tell you that I'd rather not tell you," She told him quietly, tears just below the surface in her brown eyes.

Kneeling to meet his eyes with hers, he replied in a voice so soft and gentle, she nearly wept,

"Tell me."

Briefly looking away as she blinked back tears, she finally spoke up, her Irish voice laced with grief,

"I…I no longer believe that you are ever coming back, Andy…"

Knowing deep in his heart that his best friend would say something like this sooner or later, Andrew found that he wasn't surprised in the least,

"Why, Angel Girl?"

"Because...because if you were coming back...God would have s-sent you back by now; but He hasn't, and He doesn't plan on it," Monica started to weep brokenly as she avoided his gaze once more,

"I know it, deep in my heart; He doesn't plan on having you return to me..." Lowering her eyes to the ground, she wrapped her arms around her knees and wept brokenly.

"Baby girl, how do you know that if you don't ask Him personally?" Andrew gently asked, his heart breaking all over again at the sound of her cries.

"I-I'm afraid He'll say 'No', Andrew…" She sobbed, trying to get hold of her emotions,

"And there's…something else too…believing that you are never coming back…the only thing left to do is to find a way to…survive without you, and the first thing I have to do…is to stop dreaming of you," She wiped her hand over her swollen eyes while refusing to meet his,

"Every time you fade away…I lose you all over again…and it hurts…and I think if I'm going to keep that promise to you…that I need to limit losing you to just one more time…tonight…"

Sucking in a deep breath, Andrew forced himself to remain calm, though he felt anything but that,

"Angel Girl, I can't imagine not being able to speak with you like this…not when it's all we have right now…"

"I know…neither can I," She whispered through her tears,

"But Andy, I feel like I'm going crazy and maybe I am. I'm living for these moments that aren't even real and every time you fade away from me, the pain comes at me like a tidal wave. I'm drowning right now, Andrew…"

"Monica, do you trust me?" Andrew chose to ask her instead of replying to her statements directly.

"Of course I do," His best friend wept brokenly, finally meeting his green eyes through blurred vision,

"You know that..."

"Then trust me right now, little girl," He continued, scooting close to her as their eyes locked,

"These are not dreams, Angel Girl. They're real; and if you choose tonight to not want to meet me here anymore...I can't stop you, but know that I may never see you again. Not until you go to the Father and confess your feelings to Him; tell Him everything you tell me and He'll give you an answer. If you choose to not see me anymore like this then this is good-bye until we see one another face to face again, little one." Seeing the tears streaming from her doe like brown eyes, Andrew sighed heavily as he longed to wipe them away,

"Mon, this is hurting me as much as it's hurting you, and I don't like this anymore then you do...I miss you horribly, Angel Girl."

"I-I don't know what to do…" She whimpered, shaking her head,

"I don't know what to do, Andy…are these really real?"

"Yes, baby, yes," He uttered, tears glistening in his own eyes,

"You're not going crazy, sweetheart. I should have explained that a long time ago, but I thought you knew. You're not just dreaming…I'm here and I'm trying to help you anyway I can. God needs you to trust Him, sweetie. Please, can't you try?"

"I did trust Him until He took you away and it feels like He betrayed me, Andrew," Her voice trembled madly as she tried to speak,

"He knew how much I love you…I just need you so badly down there…it's horrible, Andy…every day is horrible and I want to give up…nothing makes it lessen and it hurts all the time…I wish I could be stronger, but I can't…nothing has ever hurt this much before…"

"That's all the more reason for you to try and trust Him with this, honey," Andrew pleaded, his eyes never leaving his best friend,

"He knows your feelings, little one, and He's willing to help you..."

Monica fell silent even as she shook her head hard, unable to believe that the Father would help her. He hadn't helped for for a year, so why should she try to trust Him now? Finally lifting her dark eyes, she spoke tearfully,

"Do you know...if you're coming back at all?"

"No, I don't, Angel Girl," The older angel replied with a shake of his head, the tears that had started to well up in his eyes now falling,

"If I did, I'd immediately tell you...but I haven't been told..." He watched helplessly as Monica lowered her head to the ground once more and gave way to more sobs,

"Sweetie, can you make me another promise?"

"I-I don't know..." She uttered weakly, her sobs turning into hiccups,

"Promising to l-live is hard enough, Andy..."

"I know, baby girl, I know..." Andrew replied with a heavy sigh, looking down at his hands,

"But I really need this from you, Mon...What I need for you to promise me is that you will at least try to start trusting the Father again? Just try, little one...because I can't stand another moment away from you either, and I want to be reunited with you as much as you want to be with me."

“Please…please tell me that isn’t the reason you haven’t come back…” Monica pleaded, fear filling her heart,
”The reason isn’t because of my lack of trust in Him, is it? I don’t think I can live with knowing this could have been avoided, Andrew…”

“I don’t know, little girl, but I know He wants this from you and so do I. I don’t know if it will solve everything or anything, but I know it’s important or I wouldn’t ask it of you. But if your doing that means I can hold you again, wipe away your tears and one day see that beautiful smile of yours again…sweetheart, please? Just try. For me?”

She closed her aching eyes as her breathing hitched from crying so hard and so long,
”Y-You know I’d do anything for you, Andrew…I can at least promise to try…”

Relief flooded through him at her tearful words and he smiled through his own tears,
”That’s my girl,” He said, his voice laced with never ending love for her as he wished once again to be to wrap his arms tightly around her and never let her go,
”Angel Girl, remember what you told me when I was in the hospital after the fire?” Not waiting for an answer, he continued,
”I am holding you so tightly in my heart, baby…just so tightly and that is the one place, no matter what happens, that I will never let you go.”

Opening her eyes and looking into his, seeing the tears shimmering in them, Monica somehow managed to whisper hoarsely,
”And you’re in mine, Andy…always…”

*****

"I'm sorry about earlier, you two," Philip leaned against the doorjam of the kitchen several hours later, his eyes sad as he watched Kevin and Carla talking at the table, their voices hushed,

"I shouldn't had assumed you were giving up...it was wrong of me..."

Her green eyes filling with tears as she nodded her head, Carla patted the seat on the other side of her and waited for the newest angel to sit down before she replied,

"Don't take any of it personally, Philip..."

Lowering his head to the table as he fidled with the tablecloth, Kevin let out a heavy sigh before speaking up,

"This has just been the hardest day of our existence...I'm not mad at you, Philip..."

Sighing softly, Philip nodded his head slowly and was silent for a few moments before replying,

"I'm still sorry; I want to help Monica more then anything, and it's so hard for me to believe it's been one full year..."

"Has she come out of his room yet?" Carla whispered, turning her tired eyes to Philip once more.

"No, I checked on her just a few minutes ago, and she was still sound asleep in his bed; Molly's up there with her too," He answered softly.

“At least she’s resting,” Kevin remarked sadly, with a small sigh,
”I’m so afraid we’re going to lose her before this is all said and done.”

But Philip shook his head adamantly,
”I’m not going to let that happen,” He stated firmly, his voice holding conviction,
”She and Andrew are the ones who brought me back to God and I know He will return Andrew. I’m going to make certain she is here when that happens.”

“How can you say that and sound so sure, Philip?” Carla whispered, looking into his eyes,
”How do you know he is coming back?”

“I refuse to believe anything but that, Carla,” He replied simply,
”Andrew was a wonderful angel and many humans benefited from him being here, not to mention his friends benefiting from him being here. The Father has everything to gain by bringing him back. Whatever lessons He is trying to teach will be taught in time and then I firmly believe God will return him. He knows how much we all love him; he knows how much that little angel upstairs needs him…how much she needs Andrew and Him…she just has to remember the latter part of that.”

"But what if she doesn't?" Kevin quietly asked, his eyes lowered to the tabletop.

"I'm not ready to think about that, Kevin..." The angel replied with a firm shake of his head,

"I don't WANT to think what would happen if she doesn't remember..."

Silence prevailed through the kitchen once more before Carla spoke up again,

"What if we have to wait another full year before she turns around and starts trusting again? I-I don't think I can wait that long to see Andrew again, Philip...I don't..."

"We all don't," Kevin let out a heavy sigh as he forced back tears,

"One year is long enough...and if we do ever see him again, whenever that may be..." He choked back a sob as he looked away from his friends once more,

"Then I can promise I'm going to be a better charge to him..."

Laying a gentle hand on the young angel's shoulder, Philip replied softly,

"Andrew was very proud of you, Kevin. He told me as much on many an occasion."

"H-He did?" Kevin asked shakily, meeting Philip's eyes with his own.

"Yes, he did," He replied warmly,

"He couldn't have been more pleased or more happy with you and Monica as his charges. Supervising you two was one of his greatest joys, Kevin."

Kevin managed a shaky smile through his tears,

"Thank you for telling that, Philip. It means a lot to me, especially today, to know that he said that to you."

Squeezing the youngest angel's shoulder gently, the older angel managed a smile in his direction,

"It's the truth, and I know he wouldn't want you to worry about not being a good charge, because you are. He loved you, Kevin..."

Resting his forehead in his hands, the youngest angel shut his eyes tightly as more tears slid down his face,

"I wish I could be able to talk to him...like Cupcake can..."

"I'm sure you will, buddy," Philip replied with a nod of his head as he removed his hand from the youngest angel's shoulder,

"We'll all be able to again; and you will be able to tell him how much you do love him when that time eventually comes. Just don't give up hope..."

"I'm trying..." He whispered as he exchanged a look with Carla, who's emerald eyes started to brim with tears all over again,

"We're all trying..."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Despite seeing Andrew every night in her dreams, Monica's pain didn't lessen on the second year she was without him on the anniversary of the friendship. She still debated if the dreams were real, or if she had only dreamt that Andrew told her that they were and she still felt that she walked a thin line between fantasy and reality.

But today, on the day she would have normally met her best friend in the little restaurant, despite the tears that streaked her face and the pain in her heart, she knew she had to try to make good on a promise. It had taken her three months of even considering it, as her anger at God had not diminished, and Andrew in her dreams, had never again pushed the way he had that night. But if by chance there was truth to her dreams, this would be the least she could do for him on their anniversary no matter how much she didn't want to.

The other angels had been reluctant to leave her out of their sight today, this year remembering exactly what day it was and what had happened last year when the anniversary had rolled around, but the Irish angel had weakly done her best to assure them she wouldn't do anything to bring them anymore pain. Monica knew they worried about her, though she really didn't have an inkling as to how much the last 15 months had affected her physical appearance. She had dropped weight from her already petite frame, and her face seemed pale and drawn with the dark circles of restless night, and grief under her dulled brown eyes.

But now, she stood at the top of her mountain, that Andrew had named for her, trying to summon up the courage to voice her feelings to One she had not spoken to since that horrible day that had changed her existence forever.

"Father, I'm so angry with You that I don't even want to be here…" She uttered aloud, her voice shaking with fury and pain,

"You're the last one I want to talk to right now, but someone asked it of me…"

Angrily pushing aside the sudden, familiar voice that spoke down to her lovingly, Monica turned her eyes back to the sky and continued, the fury never leaving her voice,

"How could You do something like this to me, Father? How could You have taken my best friend away from me like that over a year ago? I'm lost without him, and I thought You knew that..." Closing her tear-filled eyes, she kept them that way as she ignored the Father's voice once more,

"Andrew made me promise to try and talk to You, Father...but I don't know how in the world I'm going to get through this conversation with You when I'm so furious..."

Sinking down onto the edge of the mountain, the Irish angel felt her angry tears fall as she opened her eyes again and glared up at the sky,

"How could You have been so cruel to take him like that, and without even a reason, Father? I thought You loved us...I thought You loved Andrew..." Bursting into a fresh round of tears, Monica lowered her head into her hands and gave way to a torrent of sobs,

"Why, Father? WHY?"

Hearing the gentle voice reassuring her of His love for her and for Andrew, she shook her head as she continued to cry as if her heart would break,

"T-Then why would You…do this?" She all but screamed through her tears,

"Do you have any idea…of how much this hurts? W-What am I…supposed…to do?"

Floating down to her grieving heart was one word: Trust.

"Trust?" She sobbed bitterly, her mournful eyes lifting again to the heavens,

"How? How when You did this to me can I trust You? It's been 15 months, Father! 15 months!"

"Have I ever led you the wrong way, My angel?" The Father spoke softly to her heart.

Burying her face in her hands as she wept, she shook her head, unable to speak at that moment, as her Creator's words continued to fall upon her,

"Nor will I this time, daughter, but you must learn to trust Me again."

"But You haven't been there for me…" She accused, her choked voice still holding anger.

"I have been there for you all along, My angel, but it was you that pushed Me away…"

"Can you blame me, Father?" Monica snapped back angrily,

"What did you expect me to do after You never gave us an answer when You took him away from me?! You stole him from me, Father, and now You expect me to trust You?"

"I didn't steal Andrew from you, My angel; it was human free will that caused our angel to die like that-"

"Then why didn't You save his life?" The Irish angel screamed to the air again,

"WHY? Why couldn't You have spared him when I need him more then ever?"

"You don't know it, My precious angel, but you need Me more then you need Andrew right now; once you realize that-"

"You're right, I don't know it!" She snapped again, the tears now blurring her vision,

"I never got a chance to say goodbye to him; I never got a chance to hug him before You took him away! None of us got a chance to do anthing before You allowed him to get hit by that truck! I need Andrew alot more then I need You right about now..."

"That is what you think right now, daughter, but your grief blinds you to the truth…"

"The truth is You took my best friend from me and that is all I need to know!" Monica retorted, deciding that this conversation was over for the day. Her weary soul could handle no more right now as she dejectedly laid her tired and weakened body down to the ground, burying her face in her folded arms as she sobbed brokenly until she had exhausted herself.

As late afternoon faded into evening, and she fell asleep, still alone on the mountain grieving for this day that she should have been spending with her best friend, she never felt Philip lift her into his arms and carry her back to the cabin.

*****

"I'm proud of you for trying, sweetheart." Andrew spoke in her dreams later that night and Monica looked up through blurred vision at his handsome face.

"I'm not...I could only handle talking with Him for only a few minutes. He just doesn't understand..." The Irish angel wept miserably as looked into his compassionate green eyes.

"But you're trying, baby girl, and that's all I care about," He replied with a gentle smile,

"You're keeping your promise to me, and that makes me more then proud of you. The Father doesn't mind if you're angry at Him; you can yell at Him all you want, and He'll still love you..."

"It sure doesn't feel that way, after today," She whispered, her voice hoarse from crying so much.

"But it's the truth, sweetie," He replied gently,

"And deep in your heart, you know that it is and you will remember," His eyes filled with sympathy as she lowered her head in defeat and he knelt down in front of her, surprised almost at how close he could get and still not be able to touch her,

"Happy anniversary, little one."

Looking up, Monica felt tears fall from her eyes, despite the fact that she didn't think it possible that there could be any left in her,

"You remembered…"

"Of course I did, Mon'," He uttered softly, a sweet smile on his face,

"Today is one of the most important days of the year to me…it's the anniversary of the day I was blessed with you."

"And I was blessed with you..." She whispered back, her eyes never leaving his handsome face,

"Even when I didn't know it then..."

Longing to wipe the tears from her face and stroke her hair, Andrew sighed softly before he replied,

"I truely believe with all of my heart that I will be able to celebrate this day with you in person again someday, Angel Girl. And when we do...I promise you to make that day more special then ever."

Choking on a sob at his words, Monica nodded her head as she replied numbly,

"W-Why can't I touch you...? You're so close, yet I can't touch you..."

"I don't know, baby; maybe the Father wants that time when we can do that again to be special, and I know that it will be when I'm allowed back on earth," He softly said, his eyes searching her tear-filled ones,

"I am really looking forward to holding you again, Angel Girl..."

"I want that too," She whimpered tearfully, forcing herself to refrain from trying to reach out to him, knowing in her heart that she would be unable to touch him and that would only cause her to feel even worse,

"I miss you so much…just so much. I don't even feel like me anymore, Andrew. I'm just going through the motions of surviving without you, but my heart just isn't in it."

Tears stung his eyes, clearly able to see by her appearance how true her words were as over a year of intense grieving had taken a toll on his pretty friend,

"You're doing just fine, sweetheart, and you know that I'm with you every day."

"I tell myself that, but I can't feel it, Andy…it feels like I'm out there all alone," She whispered sadly,

"And I hate being alone."

"I know you do, baby girl, but remember what I've always told you. You are never, ever alone, no matter how lonely you may feel," Andrew spoke softly, hoping with all his heart that she would belive him,

"Will you do something for me when you wake up, Monica?"

"A-Anything, Andy...anything..." She choked out, her eyes still on him.

"When you wake up, look over onto my desk, okay? Look at the poem that you wrote for me at my party all those years ago, all right, little girl?" He gently asked.

Confusion filling her heart, Monica was about to ask why, but chose not to; instead, she just nodded her head and whispered,

"Y-Yes...yes, I will..."

"I'm hoping when you look at it again, you'll know deep in your heart that I really am here. And I'm not going any place, Angel Girl."

As soon as those words escaped her best friend's lips, Monica awoke with a start and blinked her eyes rapidly, finding herself in Andrew's bedroom once more. Wanting more then anything to fall back asleep and see him once again, the weary angel remembered that she had promised to do something for her best friend in her dream,

'I must be crazy...' She thought to herself as she rose shakily to her feet and made her way over to the desk.

Preparing to see the shattered frame that held the poem she had written many years ago, Monica's tears came harder as she noticed that the frame was now repared, like it had never been shattered to begin with.

Picking it up, she dropped to her knees, clutching it tightly against her,

"They're real…" She sobbed aloud, her trembling fingers curled around the frame,

"Andy, they're real…thank you for showing me…thank you…"

Though it didn't lessen her grief about him no longer being here, relief filled her that she wasn't losing her mind as she had feared. Somehow, he had found a way to reach through to her in her dreams; to not leave her completely alone and afraid and that was so like her beloved, gentle friend. But in her next thought she realized that it wasn't Andrew who had really found a way to do this for her…

It was God.

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

"She seems so peaceful," Tess spoke to her friends two days later as she walked down the stairs to the living room,

"I can't remember the last time I've walked into Andrew's room to check on that Angel Girl, and not find her crying in her sleep..."

The remaining angels gathered together in the living room exchanged looks with one another and Carla was the first to speak, her green eyes wide,

"She is?"

Nodding her head, Tess came over and took a seat next to Rose and Philip on the couch and reached for her charge's hand giving it a gentle squeeze,

"I can still make out that she has been crying earlier, but I truely believe that our Angel Boy is speaking to her, and he's trying to help her any way he can."

"So you really don't think they are dreams, Tess?" Kevin asked softly, watching her reaction carefully.

"No, baby, I don't. Their connection ran so deep, that I think the Father has found a way for her Angel Boy to be with her. I don't think she's dreaming and I may be wrong, but I don't think she thinks she is dreaming any longer either. Something has finally given her a little peace in all of this and it has to be coming from either Andrew or she is righting her relationship with the Father."

"But why doesn't she talk to us about it?" Carla asked, sadness evident in her green eyes.

"I think if she is having conversations with Andrew, that they are very personal to her, Carla," Philip spoke up gently,

"And the same goes for anything that could be happening with her and God right now. That relationship has over a year of anger and near hatred behind it and I don't think that any steps she may be taking, she is going to be willing to share."

"So it could be soon then...?" Kevin whispered, his eyes growing wide,

"Andrew could be coming back to us soon?"

"It's hard telling, honey," Rose replied, reaching a hand out and laying it on his knee,

"It's a real possibility, but it may have to be until Monica's relationship with the Father is like it used to be..."

"I don't know what's caused that little angel to have some peace, but it had to have been something big, because there is no doubt in my mind that if it hadn't happened..." Tess stopped talking, unable to get out the next words. With the hand that wasn't holding Philip's, she ran a hand through her shoulder-length hair,

"Let's just say that this old angel is starting to find some peace in this too...I just hope that we will see that Angel Boy before too long."

“So you think this is what it is all about? Her trusting the Father? That is why Andrew has been gone all this time?” Carla asked, her expression turning to one of confusion.

Before Tess could answer, Kevin’s head shot up, his eyes holding disbelief,
”The day this happened…when Cupcake and I were out on the porch waiting for him…we were talking about trusting the Father. I…I asked her if it was possible to trust God in all things and we were talking about that when you came out, Tess.”

Rose’s eyes widened at this bit of news she had not been aware of as it seemed some pieces were beginning to fit together, even if it could be a long shot,
”You’ve been having some problems trusting through all of this as well, honey…maybe to an extent we all have.”

"It could be some sort of test," Philip whispered, his eyes turning to each of his friends,

"I mean, it's definitely a possibility..."

"And it's taken us a little more then one year to realize it," Kevin continued as tears formed in his dark eyes again,

"I can't believe we didn't figure it out from the beginning..."

"You were grieving, baby," Tess uttered weakly, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently,

"We all were."

"And I think I still will be until we finally see Simba again," The youngest angel in the room finished, looking down at the floor as his tears fell freely,

"This could have so easily been avoided, if we had only remembered the conversation we had the day this all happened."

"We don't know that for certain," Rose replied gently, not wanting anyone to get their hopes up or to put any pressure on Monica or Kevin to make things right with the Father,

"We may be completely off base with what we are thinking."

"But what if Andrew is pushing her to talk to the Father?" Carla asked, turning her eyes to her supervisor,

"Wouldn't that be proof enough?"

"He would do that anyway, baby," Tess replied carefully,

"Andrew may not even know what this is all about, but if his Angel Girl had abandoned God, he would do all he could to see to it that she found her way back, whether that meant him coming back or not."

"You're right, Tess," Philip replied softly,

"He would do whatever it took regardless."

Silence filled the living room once more after Philip spoke, each angel caught up in their own thoughts. Sighing heavily, the newest angel closed his dark eyes and lifted up a quick prayer to God that he and his friends weren't wrong in their intuitions.

*****

Monica lay wide awake in Andrew's bed, even thought she had woken up hours ago, and stared at the ceiling. Two nights ago when she had found out that these conversations with her best friend weren't dreams, but were indeed real, the little Irish angel didn't know when she would stop sobbing. When she had found the repaired picture frame, she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he was here, and that he was looking out for her; and although she didn't want to admit it, so was the Father.

Sucking in a shaky breath, she forced herself to clear her throat and speak to her Creator once more. Their relationship was still beyond strained, but she was still determined to do it for Andrew, whether she liked it or not,

"Are You there?"

"You know the answer to that, My angel." His voice filtered down to her aching heart.

She fell silent for a moment, trying to figure out what to say,

"I'm trying to trust you, Father, I am, but it's hard after what has happened."

"Daughter, think of the humans on earth who trust without even knowing for a fact that I exist," Her Creator replied gently,

"They are surrounded by death, illness and sorrow everyday and they who believe in Me still trust."

"Why did it have to be so violent?" Monica whispered, tears beginning to fill her eyes once more,

"I know that humans see violence every day, but we're angels…and Andrew is my best friend. You know that!"

"My precious angel, I didn't want Andrew to have to go through that so violently, but you know that I cannot interfere with free will-"

"Then why did you send some angels for Andrew that day during the hotel explosion all those years ago, but You couldn't send any for him after he was hit by that truck?" Monica sobbed angrily, her eyes still on the ceiling.

"I did send some angels for him, daughter." The Father spoke back lovingly.

"Yeah, two Angels of Death," The Irish angel snapped bitterly, the anger showing plainly in her voice,

"You sent them so that they could steal him from me, and to top it off, You never gave any of us an answer after it was said and done. Why couldn't You have left him here? I needed him so much..."

"I had Adam and Henry take your best friend Home to My presence because I did not want to see him suffer like that if he did survive. I love all My children, Monica, and I do not enjoy watching my children go through so much pain like you have this past year."

"You don't make any sense!" She sobbed brokenly, even as she felt Molly mew softly, sensing she was upset,

"You could have stopped that pain by bringing him back! But You refused to do that! You still refuse to do that!"

"So why didn't you talk to Me about it, Monica?" He asked gently, already knowing her answer.

"Because I was mad at You! I'm still mad at You!" She retorted angrily,

"You left me alone, without Andrew and that wasn't fair!"

"I've never left you alone, My angel, not for one moment. It was you who left Me. I have been waiting for you to talk to Me."

"I'm talking to You now," Monica wept, some of the anger leaving her voice,

"Bring him back…please bring him back…"

"I need for you to trust Me, Monica, with what is so important to you. You told Kevin you tried to trust Me in all things, but you haven't trusted Me in this."

"Did You expect me to suddenly trust You as soon as you took Andrew away?" Monica sobbed brokenly as she buried her face in her hands,

"I want him back...I just want him back..."

"My angel, do you remember the talk you had with Kevin the day this all happened?" The Father spoke to her heart gently again.

"Of course I do," The angel retorted, her hands never leaving her tear-streaked face,

"You know that."

"My angel, I think you know better then anyone how important it is to trust Me in all things, especially when it's hard to do so. Even when you've been angry, You've still spoken to me; like the time on the ship when you and Philip first met." Monica fell silent at those words, but shook her head as sobs continued to tear through her,

"You know that I turned all that around into something good because You managed to trust Me. Can't you trust Me with your best friend? Your soulmate?"

Shame filled her heart at those words as she thought back to that terrible time when Philip had first entered their lives. She had hated him, and now she called him "friend"…

"It's hard, Father," The little angel whispered through her tears.

"Trusting is never easy, daughter," Came the patient reply filled with love for her,

"But it is the one thing I ask of My children."

Falling silent, Monica closed her eyes for a moment, trying with everything in her to say the words and mean them,

"I trust You," She whispered tearfully, another sob escaping her,

"I'm sorry I didn't before…and though this still hurts so much, I'll try to trust You with Andrew…"

"That's all I ask of you, My angel," The Father replied back, and Monica didn't miss the smile in His voice,

"That's all I ask for."

*****

"The Father told me that you two talked this morning," Andrew told his best friend some hours later after she had fallen back asleep,

"I can't tell you how proud of you I am, little one; if I could hold you, I would do it in a heartbeat."

Feeling a slight blush rise to her cheeks at his words, Monica lowered herself to the ground even as her eyes never left his handsome face,

"I...I'm trying to trust Him with you, Andrew; I want you back down here so much, and I know that's the only way now..."

His green eyes grew even more serious as he looked at her,

"Sweetie, I don't know what the plan is or if it entails me coming back, but keep trusting Him, okay? No matter what happens."

Her pale face seemed to pale even further at his words,

"You're saying…you still may not be able to return?"

"I'm saying that I don't know, honey," He replied as gently as he could,

"I don't know what the plan is either and I don't want you to get your hopes up. You need to trust the Father no matter how this turns out," He hated having to be this honest with her, but if the Father's plan was not to return him to earth, he didn't want that destroying his best friend.

"I can't do that, Andrew!" She cried out as fresh tears welled up in her eyes and slid down her pale face,

"He can't do that to me...to us..."

"Sweetheart, listen to me," Andrew interrupted, his voice a little firmer then earlier, but still holding the same love for her,

"You know how the Father's plans are always perfect, and if His plan is for me to return to earth, then He'll send me; but if He doesn't..." He fell silent for a moment as he heard the heart-breaking sounds of Monica's sobs once again,

"You still need to trust Him, despite it all. Okay?"

"How, though? HOW?" She sobbed brokenly, her heart breaking all over again at the possibility of this being the only means of communication with her dearest friend. How could she be able to spend the rest of eternity like this?

"Baby...if you can't do it for Him, then do it for me, little one," He said softly, desperately wanting to calm her, but this was a blow she had not been ready to consider. Getting no reply and seeing her rock back and forth as she cried, fear filled his heart that this had been too much for her,

"Sweetheart, please…this is just a possibility I need for you to keep in mind."

"I can't…I can't do this forever…" Monica wept, more to herself than to him.

"Mon', the Father reminded you of Philip…how terrible that was and good still came out of it, baby…" He uttered, tears beginning to fill his own eyes.

"I…I'd rather go through what Philip did a hundred times than this once!" She cried out, nearly breaking his heart at those words.

"Sweetheart, you can't mean that-"

"I do mean it, I do," She wept brokenly, never lifting her head,

"This...this is worse then what happened on that ship, and the Father knows that! Why won't He give me a yes or no answer, Andy, why?!"

"I think you know the answer, sweet girl," The older angel whispered back, his voice choking up as he spoke,

"The answer is simple. Trust. Trust with all of your heart."

"It's not that simple, Andrew, it's not..."

"No, it isn't," Andrew agreed, his spirits sinking rapidly at the pain she was in and being unable to help her with anything but words right now,

"But sometimes the hardest things are for the best, and trusting unconditionally is for the best, Angel Girl. The Father told you that earlier today." He stopped speaking for a moment as her sobs continued to intensify,

"I know how hard this is for you, sweetie...Remember, I felt this same way when you turned to the darkness to save my life; I never thought I would see you again, but I did...and everything turned out all right in the end."

"That was three days, Andrew…three days! It's been 15 months, 2 days and 19 hours without you and I know that because I count every minute!" She sobbed, on the verge of hysteria as she kept her head lowered.

"Oh sweet baby girl…" He uttered, the tears now streaking his face as once again the magnitude of her grief and pain hit him like a punch in the stomach.

"I thought…I thought if I trusted Him, He would bring you back!"

"And He might, sweetheart, He might," Andrew choked out,

"But we aren't making deals here, Monica. It doesn't work that way with God."

"Why does He do this, Andrew...why is He doing this to us?! He's torn us apart for over a year, and now He may not give you back?" Monica wailed miserably, her shoulders shaking with each heart-breaking sob.

"I wish I had all of the answers here, sweetheart, but I don't..." He whispered, his voice shaking slightly,

"I just don't..." As he listened to her cries, the angel closed his emerald eyes and uttered weakly,

"Oh sweetie, if I could hold you right now, I could..."

"I-I'm trying so hard to trust Him...but with this bit of news, He's making it all the more difficult," The Irish angel cried in agony,

"He's making is harder...then I can handle..."

"Angel Girl, the Father never gives us anymore then we can handle," Andrew tried to soothe her once again, but his best friend interrupted.

"This time He has!" She cried,

"This time, He's given me way more then my heart can handle!"

"I know it feels that way, Monica…" He began through his own tears, but she interrupted him.

"It IS that way, Andy…not even you know how much this hurts and I wish…I wish I had driven your car off that cliff before I ever made that promise! At least then, the pain would be gone," Not looking up, she never saw her best friend close his eyes as the tears slid down his face at her words,

"Just go for tonight, Andrew…I can't talk anymore right now…even to you…" Continuing to rock back and forth, she completely gave into the sobs.

Wishing more than anything that there was something he could say to make up for the step backwards she had taken tonight, he could only settle on one thing,

"I love you, little girl, with all my heart and tonight as most other nights, my prayers go to the Father for you."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

The next three months passed by increasingly slow for all of the angels, and still, Monica's relationship with the Father kept dwindling and Kevin wasn't sure if before too long, it would ever be repaired. His Irish friend had been so silent the last couple of weeks, and every time he saw her, she seemed to have dropped even more weight, and her shoulder-length auburn hair was now trailing down her back once more like it used to be. Her brown eyes had sunken in and all the life seemed to have disappeared from them.

Early that Friday morning, though, Kevin wasn't surprised when the Irish angel had announced to all of them that she needed some time alone to herself. And away from the cabin. Although his heart hurt that she didn't want to be around them, he understood where she was coming from and so, the youngest caseworker decided to not object as she packed her bags and left for the beach house for who knew how long.

Now, with a sigh, the caseworker slumped down on the living room couch and stretched out on the sofa, only looking up when he saw Carla take a seat next to him,

"Do you think that was a good idea to let her go by herself?" The little blond angel asked quietly, squating beside him.

"No," Kevin replied sullenly, looking into her eyes,

"I think it was a terrible idea. Have you looked at her lately?" His voice dropped to a whisper,

"She looks terrible, Carla…"

"I know," She replied softly, tears in her eyes,

"I'm so worried about her…she was doing better for a few days and then something caused it to all come crashing down again and we don't even know what it was."

Kevin was silent for a long moment before he decided to voice what he was feeling,

"I don't think we're ever going to see her again, Carla," He uttered, tears in his eyes.

"Kevin, don't say that! Don't even think it!" She cried out, feeling wetness springing to her own eyes at his words.

"I can't help thinking it, Carla!" Kevin cried back, his voice choked with tears as he looked at his blond friend,

"What else am I supposed to think right now? I'm losing my two closest friends, and I may never see them again...Ever!"

"Baby, calm down," Tess' voice sounded in the doorway to the kitchen, and both younger angels looked up in time to see she, Rose and Philip walking in, sad looks on all their faces,

"Please, just take nice deep breaths, baby..." Seeing the fresh tears springing to the youngest angel's eyes, Tess took a seat on the couch next to Kevin and cradled him in her arms,

"It's all right, Kevin, it's all right..."

"I'm sorry for feeling this way, but it's the truth," He gasped out through sobs, burying his face in Tess' shoulder,

"We may never see Andrew again, and Monica...she looks so horrible now, and things don't look good for her..."

Silence filled the living room and the only sounds that were made were those of the soft sobbing of Kevin and Tess' soothing voice. Just as the youngest angel was starting to calm himself down some, a bright light appeared in the living room and Carla squinted her eyes as she looked towards it. Shielding her eyes with her hand, she glanced worriedly over to Rose and Philip, and saw the same look of confusion on their faces.

Finally, after the light had started to dim a bit, Carla lowered her hands and just about gasped out loud as she saw the one she never thought she would see again. The one they were just talking about was now standing in the living room, a surprised look on his face as he looked around.

Andrew.

"Angel Boy?" Rose uttered, unable to believe what she was seeing as she felt frozen where she was standing.

"Rose…" He said softly, love filling his eyes as he realized that the Father had brought him back to them,

"It's really me, Rose. It's really me."

A sob escaped her as she grabbed hold of him, hugging him tightly to her as she felt him wrap his arms around her in return and hold her just as tightly,

"Oh my sweet Angel Boy…I've missed you so much…we've all missed you so much…"

"Rose, you have no idea how much I've missed all of you," He whispered, kissing the side of her head as his eyes traveled to his other friends. Concern filled his eyes, noticing that Kevin hadn't even noticed he was here as his young charge still clung to Tess, sobbing brokenly.

Finally forcing himself to pull away from Rose, although he didn't want to just yet, the younger angel's eyes shone with love as he met her eyes briefly and nodded his head. Seeing that Carla was still kneeling down on the ground next to the couch, shock evident on her pretty face, Andrew made his way over to her and shrugged his shoulders,

"I don't bite, Carla..."

Coming out of the transe that she was in, Carla choked on a sob as she pushed herself up from the floor and threw her arms around her older friend, hugging him as tightly as she could,

"I can't believe it's really you...I can't believe it's really you..."

Wrapping his arms around her waist tightly, Andrew rocked her back and forth as he kissed the top of her head,

"I've missed you so, so much, Carla...I really have."

"We've missed you too," She sobbed softly against his shoulder,

"It was unbearable, Andrew…"

"But it's over now," He whispered to her reassuringly before squeezing her tightly one more time before turning to Tess, who still had Kevin in her arms,

"Tess…" He uttered softly, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly.

"Baby…my dear Angel Boy…it is so good to have you back," She told him, tears making their way down her face.

"It's good to be back, Tess," He replied, feeling Philip's hand on his shoulder. Looking at his friend, he saw him nod towards Kevin and knowing greeting Philip properly could wait for a moment, the blond angel laid his hand on Kevin's head,

"Kev?"

Wordlessly, Kevin wrapped his arms around his supervisor for the first time in 18 long months as sobs continued to wrack through his body, a mixture of joy and disbelief as well as fear over his other angelic friend.

"I've got you, Wonder Boy," Andrew whispered, tears in his own eyes as he held his charge tightly, unable to believe himself this was happening,

"It's all over now, Kevin…it's all over…"

"I didn't…I didn't get to tell you…that I loved you…" Kevin sobbed, never letting go of his friend and supervisor.

"I always knew, Kevin…I always knew," Andrew replied through tears as he closed his eyes briefly.

"I missed you...so much...I missed you so much, Andrew..." The youngest caseworker choked out, only tightening his hold on his older friend,

"We didn't think we'd ever...see you again..."

"I wasn't so sure myself, kiddo," Andrew whispered, the tears falling freely down his face as he moved from where he was kneeling so that he could sit down next to Kevin, his arms still wrapped around his youngest charge,

"It's okay now, Kev; it's okay now..."

"I'm so happy you're back..." He managed to continue through his sobs,

"This past year and a half...they've been horrible without you..."

"I know," The supervisor replied in a whisper as his hand gently rubbed his friend's back, trying to calm him down as best he could, although he too was in disbelief that this was happening,

"I've missed you all horribly..."

"We love you so much, Angel Boy," Tess spoke up from his other side and, still holding onto Kevin, Andrew turned his head to look at his former supervisor as she wrapped her arms tightly around him again as well,

"Baby boy, we just love you so much, and have missed you...it just was not the same..."

“Nothing was the same,” Rose uttered softly, kneeling in front of him and resting her hands on his knees, feeling Andrew cover one of her hands with his own.

“It’s so good to have you back,” Philip said with a smile and he leaned down to hug his friend.

“But where have you been, baby?” Tess asked him softly, giving his hand a squeeze,
”Monica said you weren’t at Home or she would know…”

Hearing the voice of the Father drifting down to his heart, he replied softly,
”I was with the Father, but not exactly Home. When the truck hit me that day, the damage to my human form was extensive…” Hearing a small sob escape Kevin, Andrew drew the young angel who was like a son to him closer,
”Instead of allowing me to suffer, He sent Adam and Henry for me, but I wasn’t taken Home, but someplace else…”

"Your Angel Girl told us that you appeared in her dreams, sweetheart," Rose spoke softly, her hands still on her younger friend's knees,

"Were you?"

"Yeah, I was..." He replied with a soft sigh, his mind now foccused on his dearest friend,

"I talked to her every night after she fell asleep; she wasn't going crazy."

"She missed you more then any of us combined, baby," Tess replied with a heavy sigh, giving his hand a squeeze,

"Do you know of anything that has happened the last three months?"

Andrew nodded his head, even as he continued to hold Kevin, who's sobs were slowly starting to diminish,

"The Father told me before I returned. He-He said that...I was allowed to come back here, but until my Angel Girl becomes right with Him again, I can't see her...I have to stay here until He gives me the word..."

Kevin's head shot up at those words, fear in his dark eyes,

"Andrew…you have to be able to see her! She's not doing well at all and I'm afraid for her…we all are!"

"Kev, believe me, I know," His supervisor replied, forcing back tears,

"And no one wants me to be able to go to her more than I do, but I've trusted the Father for well over a year now, and I can't stop now. I'm afraid for her too, but she needs God even more than she needs me and as soon as she realizes that, I can be with her, but not before."

"So you know about everything then?" Carla asked quietly,

"About her trying to end her existence?"

"Yeah, Carla, I do," He whispered sadly, lowering his head,

"I know the toll this has taken on her and…and things are about to get worse tonight," Feeling the questioning silence around him, he drew in a deep breath and added,

"As I'm back, there will be no more dreams."

"There's no way you can go to her, even in her dreams?" Kevin asked in astonishment, watching as his friend shook his head sadly, the tears finally starting to brim over.

"No...I'm not in angelic form anymore; I'm back as a human again, and I no longer have that special privilage to see her that way until she comes clean with God," The older angel replied with another heavy sigh,

"I want to more then anything, Kev; I want to hold her so badly, but right now, I'm not allowed to. She has to learn to trust Him all over again, and until that happens..." He stopped talking with a shrug of his shoulders before lowering his head to his lap.

"Oh my babies," Tess shook her head sadly as she wrapped her arms around her Angel Boy in another hug,

"I'm sorry this has to happen, Angel Boy, but we're praying with you, baby."

"Sometimes things have to get their darkest for someone to see the Light," Rose offered softly, tears in her own eyes, both of joy and sorrow,

"And it seems that things are about to get pretty dark for one little angel."

Startling everyone, Kevin rose to his feet, fresh tears welling up in his eyes,

"I need a little air," He muttered shakily. Despite the fact that his heart was practically bursting with joy at having his friend and supervisor back at long last, he couldn't help but to be upset with this news.

Watching him go out the front door quickly, Philip sighed softly as he looked into Andrew's eyes,

"He's become very protective of Monica, Andrew. He grieved so hard for you and then turned part of that energy into helping her however he could, depending on what she would allow. It's been a long and painful 18 months for everyone."

"I know," Andrew replied, worry thick in his voice as he gently pulled away from his friends and rose to his feet,

"And I'm not about to let Kevin stay out there alone. Not now..." Glancing down at his friends, he excused himself,

"Excuse me."

Making his way out onto the patio, Andrew closed the door behind him and immediately felt the cool morning air and under normal circumstances, he would have welcomed it, as he hadn't felt it in almost 2 years. Noticing Kevin swinging softly on the swing, the supervisor took a seat next to him,

"I know you're upset about this arrangement, Kev...So am I."

"I'm really happy you're back, Simba, I am..." The youngest angel replied, his voice quiet and choked up,

"We almost lost you for good; and now we may lose Cupcake for good. She needs you so much right now, and I don't know how she's going to come to the Father if she no longer dreams about you; she's going to give up all hope after tonight..."

"I'm worried too, Kevin, though I understand the Father's reasoning. Hopefully when I am no longer there for her, she'll have to turn to Him, as there is no where else to turn," Andrew replied, wrapping his arm around his charge's shoulders and trying to keep his voice steady, despite the fact that he was more heart broken and concerned than he wanted to let on right now.

"You know how stubborn she is," Kevin whispered sadly,

"And she looks awful, Simba…she doesn't care anymore if she eats or if she sleeps and now she's all alone…"

"She's not alone, Wonder Boy and that is what she has to realize," He replied shakily, drawing in a deep breath. Looking into his younger friend's eyes, he managed a smile,

"Thank you for taking care of her for me. I know you looked out for her the last 18 months and that you two have grown closer. You have no idea how much that means to me, Kevin."

Wrapping his arms around his older friend again and hugging him tightly, Kevin blinked back more tears as he whispered softly,

"I wanted to make you proud of me, Andrew..."

"Kev, since when did you think I wasn't proud of you?" Andrew replied in shock, hugging his charge tightly to him,

"You know I've always been proud of you-"

"But I've been an idiot and a jerk to you plenty of times, Simba...by picking fights with Cupcake, and being stubborn; I wanted to do something that would show you that I'm going to be a better charge." The tears started making their way down the youngest angel's face as he spoke.

Grasping his charge's shoulders and pulling away from him gently, Andrew looked straight into his eyes and said firmly,

"Kevin, I could not have asked for any better charges then you or Monica. My life has only gotten better with you two around every day of my existence, you know? I love you both so much, and I always will; and I'm always proud of you, not just for taking care of Monica while I was away, but just for being you."

"Tell me she's going to be all right, Andrew…" Kevin whispered looking into his supervisor's green eyes,

"We finally got you back and I just need to know that Cupcake is going to be okay too."

Andrew was quiet for a moment before he hugged his charge tightly and uttered,

"God is with her…and hopefully soon, I will be too."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Two nights later, Monica sat alone in the living room of the beach house, curled up tightly in a chair, trying to remind herself to breath. She couldn't sleep…she wouldn't sleep…not now that the worst had happened.

The dreams had stopped.

For as heart breaking as they had been every time Andrew had to go, they had been all she had and now they were gone. For two nights now, she had pleaded for them to return, but now whenever she closed her eyes, all she saw was darkness.

She was convinced her soul had died.

"How did this happen?" She whispered miserably to herself, her hollow eyes staring straight ahead at the wall, the angel bear curled up in her arms while Molly sat on the floor beside her, looking sadly up at her,

"How did they stop...Andy...?" Looking to the ceiling, she wished more then anything that he'd reply to her, but much to her disappointment, there was nothing and she was greeted with silence again. Burying her face in the angel bear's white fur, she sobbed brokenly even as she grew angry at the Father all over again,

"Why did you stop them? WHY?!" She demanded, uncurling herself from the chair and glaring at the ceiling.

"My angel, did you forget the talks we have had recently?" Came the gentle reply.

Ignoring the question, she continued screaming,

"I don't trust You! How could you have stopped the dreams! They-they were all I had left...they were all I had left!"

"They were not all you had left, daughter. Though you think that, it is not truth. I am Truth."

"I can't not see him, Father…I can't! I didn't think this could hurt anymore than it already has, but it hurts even more!" She sobbed angrily.

"Monica, I am close to the broken hearted, just as I am close to you right now and there is nothing I want more than to take away your pain, but in order for Me to do that, you must first hand it over to Me."

"Like you made me hand Andrew over to You and now I'm never going to see him again, am I?" The reality of her words only caused her to break down more as she buried her face in her hands, wishing she could just shut down her emotions and not feel anything anymore.

"You don't know that, My precious angel. You may see him again, and you may touch him again; but you know what you have to do first. I don't like seeing my two children away from each other-"

"Then why don't you return him where he BELONGS?" Monica snapped, suddenly hearing Molly meow quietly at her feet. Picking the cat up, the angel cradled her in her arms as her sobs came harder.

"Because that's not the way I work, daughter, and deep down you know that," He replied in the same patient manner,

"You have to completely, 100% trust me before we can continue, and although I am proud of you for trying, as soon as your dreams stopped, you stopped trusting Me-"

"I stopped trusting You again that same night I found out that Andrew may never come back!" The Irish angel cried out, causing Molly to jerk in her arms and leap off her lap,

"I can never trust You again, never! Not after what You did!"

"My angel, I did not do anything."

"Oh really now?" Monica replied back sarcastically,

"I think differently..."

"Had I brought Andrew with me, Monica, he would have suffered terrible pain at the hand of one human's free will. Is that what you would have wanted for him?"

"Of course not! What I wanted was for You to heal him and then let him come back!"

"But yet you never asked Me, or prayed for what you wanted," Her Father's voice spoke gently to her.

"You know what's in my heart," She accused weakly, throwing her head back against the back of the chair in anguish,

"I don't want to talk to You anymore tonight. Just leave me alone, just like You have all along…"

"You may be pushing Me away right now, but I will never leave you, daughter. I will always be with you, and I will always love you no matter what." With that, the Father's voice grew silent and the only sound in the beach house was the noise of Monica's sobbing.

*****

"The Sullivan's?" Andrew's eyes widened in shock and then joy as he looked over at Rose, who was sitting in the driver's seat of her car, and smiled,

"We're going to the Sullivan's?"

"They haven't seen you in almost 2 years, sweetheart; and they're all going to be so thrilled to have you back, just as we were," The elderly angel reached her right hand out and grasped her friend's while she drove with the other, giving it a gentle squeeze,

"Wendy and Angel are almost 17 years old, and the twins are almost 2."

"Wow..." The younger angel breathed with a shake of his head, sadness flickering in his emerald eyes,

"I've missed out on alot around here..." The sadness grew as he lowered his head, his thoughts turning to his best friend, who he had yet to see.

Giving his hand another squeeze, she looked over at him briefly,

"I know you're thinking about your Angel Girl, honey, and you know you can talk to me about whatever is on your heart."

Andrew sighed softly, leaning his head back,

"I'm so worried about her, Rose, and I miss her horribly. Even though I got to talk to her for so long, it just wasn't the same. It's hard knowing she needs help and knowing she feels completely abandoned right now, even though she isn't."

"I can't begin to tell you how much she suffered without you," Rose remarked softly,

"The changes in her have been frightening."

"I know and now knowing she has lost the dreams terrifies me, Rose…it absolutely terrifies me," He blinked back tears as he gazed out the window.

"I know, Angel Boy," Rose replied with a heavy sigh as she removed her hand from his and reached across to stroke his short blond hair,

"But it will all be okay in the end, trust me."

"I always trust you, but that doesn't stop the fear, you know?" Andrew answered back, glancing over at her before turning back to gaze at the window, the tears now falling freely.

"Yes," The elder angel replied, gently smoothing back his hair as she drove, wanting to offer him as much comfort as she could at this moment. Silence passed between the two angels and friends for another half hour before the car finally pulled in front of the familiar Sullivan household. Turning to face her friend, Rose offered him a gentle smile and asked,

"Are you ready, Angel Boy?"

Attempting a smile, he nodded his head as he climbed out of the car,

"Sure am."

Ringing the doorbell the two angels waited as Cindy opened the door, shock registering on her face as tears sprang to her blue eyes,

"Andrew!" She cried out, flinging herself into his arms and holding him tightly as her tears fell unashamedly,

"You're back…you're finally back…"

"That I am, sweetheart," He whispered to her, holding her tightly in his arms as his hand stroked her blond hair,

"I missed you, Cindy."

"You have no idea how much we all missed you," She uttered, pulling away to take his face into her hands in order to just look at him,

"You're the best sight I've seen in a long time."

Blushing slightly, he moved to kiss her cheek, happy tears glistening in his eyes,

"It's so good to be back."

Flinging her arms around her angelic friend again as her tears flowed, Cindy gave him a tight squeeze before ushering them into the house and calling out to her family,

"Brady! Wendy! Angel! You won't believe who's here!"

Chuckling slightly, Rose reached for her former charge's hand and squeezed it while giving him a wink,

"Wendy's going to be so excited to see you, Angel Boy; she missed you so much..."

"We all have," Cindy smiled through her tears as she heard the footsteps of her daughters on the staircase and Angel's voice sounded even before they had reached the landing.

"Daddy says he'll be down in a minute, mom-" The teenager then stopped in mid-sentance as she stopped in her tracks, seeing the familiar blond angel standing in the middle of the living room. Tears rushing to her eyes, Angel glanced over at her twin sister and saw the same look of shock on her face before turning back to him,
"Andrew?"

"Yes, sweetie, it's me," He uttered, his voice choked. Seeing the twins still staring at him in near shock, he managed a tearful smile,

"So are you two going to stand there and look at me all day or do I get a hug?"

A second later, both girls had sprinted to him and he had caught them both up in his strong arms, holding them tightly to him as he heard their soft sobs. Kissing the top of each of their heads in turn, he spoke softly to them,

"I love you two and I've missed you both so much."

"I…I can't believe y-you're here…" Wendy uttered clutching him tightly before another sob broke free,

"Andrew…I love you…I missed you so much…"

"It's okay, Wen," He whispered, feeling a tear escape his eye,

"I'm here now and not going anywhere like that again…you have God's promise on that."

"I'm glad," Angel whispered into her friend's chest as she tightened her arms around him,

"We love you so much, and the pain was unbearable...just unbearable...when we found out..."

"But it's over now, sweetheart," Andrew whispered, rubbing her back gently as the twins continued to hold tightly to him,

"It's all over."

"So what did you need to talk to me about, Princess?" Brady's voice called down the stairs and he was about to ask another question when he saw his daughters clinging tightly to Andrew in the middle of the living room, sobs ripping through both of them,

"Oh my God...Andrew...?" He uttered, his eyes widening in complete shock.

Forcing himself to pull gently away from the twins, Andrew gave both of their heads a final kiss before making his way over to the human who he considered like a brother,

"Hey there, Brady."

"I don't believe this," He uttered, moving to embrace the angel tightly,

"I think I had about given up on you."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily, Brady," Andrew smiled, embracing his friend tightly back,

"There are two more little ones here I need to watch grow up."

"You have been missed more than you could ever imagine," Brady told him softly, as he pulled away,

"None more so than Wendy and Monica, I think," He looked around curiously, only seeing Rose as the only other angel in the room,

"And I find it hard to believe she has left you out of her sight already…"

"I think we all need to have a seat and talk," Rose spoke up gently,

"Beings Andrew and Monica adopted all of you as extended family many years ago, you'd may as well hear the whole story behind this."

"Where is Monica?" Wendy asked, wiping away the tears in her eyes as she took a seat next to Andrew, immediately wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him tightly, not wanting to let him go just yet,

"I thought for sure she'd be here..."

"He hasn't been reunited with that little angel yet, honey," Rose replied with a soft sigh as she took a seat in the chair next to the couch as Angel took a seat on Andrew's other side,

"She's lost her way completely with God, and until she finds it again...Andrew can't see her."

Her eyes widening in shock, Cindy spoke up,

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't trust Him at all anymore," Rose answered, looking at each of their human friends in turn,

"She doesn't think the Father will bring him back, and she doesn't know right now that he is back."

Brady's eyes were more than a little troubled at this news as he looked over at Andrew,

"I haven't seen her in over a year and she wasn't doing well then."

"I know, Brady," Andrew replied quietly, almost feeling guilty that he was a part of this,

"And there is nothing I want more than to go to her, but I can't right now. Not until she believes she needs the Father even more than she needs me."

"Poor Monica," Angelica whispered, tears in her eyes once more,

"She has missed you so much, Andrew. It was heartbreaking to even look into her eyes…you could just tell something was missing…you."

"So this is all some kind of test?" Cindy uttered, not completely understanding.

"It didn't start out as that, Cindy," Andrew replied in the same soft tone,

"The accident was free will and the Father took me because the injuries were so great, but Mon' lost faith in Him that day."

Tears sprang to Wendy's eyes as she tightened her hold on her angelic friend, pressing her face into his shoulder,

"I'm so sorry this happened in the first place..."

"Hey, it's not your fault, baby," Andrew kissed the top of the teenager's head,

"It's nobody's fault except for the human who started it." He sighed heavily and leaned back against the sofa, Wendy still in his arms,

"Just say some prayers for my Angel Girl, okay?"

Watching his two daughters nod their heads, Brady replied as well,

"You've got it, buddy. All of you have all our prayers; you always have."

*****

CI and KP

Written by: CI and KP

Two months later…

Andrew sat alone on the steps of the porch of the cabin, his mind miles away; more specifically at a beach house a few hours from when he now was. He was finding it hard to believe that two months since he had been back and he still had not been permitted to go to his best friend. She hadn't even called to talk to Kevin or any of the others and this only added to his grief of wondering how she was, even though he was certain the answer to that thought was "not good".

His mind had gone over and over each conversation they had while he had been able to speak to her in her dreams, and his heart always ached unbearably as he thought about her tears and how she had counted each day that he had been away. Her comment about what had happened on board that ship didn't settle well with him either as it was just further proof of the magnitude of her grief.

Things inside of the cabin had been tense as well as he knew everyone was growing more worried as the days dragged on. Kevin seemed to be constantly swallowing panic as another day passed and the other 4 angels were trying desperately to hold it together as well.

"Oh Angel Girl," He whispered aloud, tears glistening in his emerald eyes,

"I miss you so much, sweetheart."

"Baby?"

Andrew turned around from where he was seated on the porch step and saw Tess standing in the doorway of the cabin, looking at him and the younger angel knew instantly that she had heard his words to Monica,

"Hey, Tess." Lowering his head, he fell silent as he sensed his friend take a seat next to him.

"What are you thinking about, Angel Boy?" She asked gently, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Looking down at his hands, Andrew sighed softly before glancing up at the sky,

"Monica." He answered simply, not turning his teary green eyes to meet those of his friend.

"I should have known that, baby," Tess quietly replied with a sigh as well,

"I wish there was something else we could do besides wait, but there isn't...except for praying of couse."

"I've been doing that almost 24 hours a day, Tess," The younger angel finally turned his head to look at his own supervisor,

"I miss her terribly, Tess; to know that she's thinking that I'm not back on earth, and that the Father has abandoned and betrayed us...it just breaks my heart, Tess."

“Sounds a lot like she has felt the last year and a half, baby,” Tess replied with a sigh,
”There is nothing I’d like better than to see you two babies together again, Andrew, and when she does trust the Father again, and she will,” She empathized the last word, refusing to believe anything but that,
”She’s going to need you so much. When I said goodbye to her before she left here that morning, she looked so fragile I was afraid she’d break when I hugged her.”

“I want more than anything to be there, Tess,” He whispered sadly,
”Though it was hard seeing her in her dreams, because of how distraught she was, at least I could see her…”

“You made her promise not to try to end her existence, didn’t you?” The older angel asked softly.

Remembering those two horrible times, Andrew shuddered slightly as he nodded his head,
”I did. I still can’t believe she even tried to take her life like that…”

“Oh sweetheart,” Tess uttered, moving to look into his tear-filled green eyes,
”She couldn’t imagine the rest of existence without the angel she most loves. You’re more than just her best friend, baby. You’re her sounding board when she’s angry and the one whose arms she seeks out when she’s hurting or needs to feel safe. You’re the one she keeps nothing from and you are the one angel who could light up her face with a smile unlike any other angel and she didn’t want to go on without all those things she found in you and though I know she’ll keep her promise to you, I can venture to say that not a day goes by where she still doesn’t think about it. Existing without her best friend was more than she wanted to bear and that’s why she did what she did.”

"When she told me that she had wished she had driven my car off of that cliff...Tess, part of me could understand why she thought that; but to hear it come from her mouth, that was heartbreaking," Andrew shook his head tearfully as he lowered his eyes to his hands.

"I know, baby, Tess knows," The eldest angel whispered, her own voice getting choked up as she spoke,

"Kevin and Sam were the ones that ended up stopping her from doing that on Thanksgiving night. I have never seen any angel hurting so much, Angel Boy; just the thought of losing my other baby was more then I could handle, Andrew..." Still seeing the pained look in his emerald eyes, Tess reached out and pulled him closer until his head was resting against her shoulder,

"But I sure have missed you, Andy. And that little angel will come around; right now, we're just so happy you're here...just so happy..." Tears starting to form in her eyes, she leaned her head down and kissed the top of her friend's tousled blond head.

"It's good to be back, Tess," He replied with a heavy sigh,

"I'll just be glad when everything is back to normal is all, if it will ever be. I just didn't expect things to be taking so long, is all. I feel like I've been waiting forever to get back to her and now I've been here for two months, and haven't seen her at all. The dreams were better than this."

Before Tess could reply, Kevin came out the front door, a serious look on his face as the two angels turned to face him,

"Tess, can I please borrow your car?"

"I don't lend that out very easily, baby," She replied, winking at Andrew to try and lighten his mood,

"Where are you taking my baby?"

The youngest angel was quiet for a moment, though he looked as if he were about to explode. Trying to remain calm, he replied purposefully,

"To check on Monica."

Exchanging another glance with her Angel Boy, Tess rubbed his back soothingly before rising to her feet and looking somewhat sternly at the youngest angel,

"I think you know the answer to that one, baby-"

"Tess, it's been 2 months! Two months, and she hasn't had anyone to check on her!" Kevin just about exploded with frustration, his eyes fixed on the elderly angel,

"Please, Tess? What would it hurt?"

"Alot would hurt, Kevin," She replied, folding her arms across her chest,

"First of all, the Father has said 'no', and when He says 'no, He means 'no'. So no, you are not taking my car to the beach house-"

"Tess, that's not fair!" Kevin yelled, finally turning to face Andrew and seeing the sadness in his eyes,

"Andrew, can't you try and talk some sense into her? I have to go and check on Monica..."

"Kevin, there is nothing that I would like more, but we can't right now," He replied softly, his heart breaking over this situation all over again,

"She needs to turn to the Father and if she leans on you, she won't lean on Him. I know this hard and painful, it is for me too, but it's the only way now."

"I feel like I've abandoned her, Andrew!" Kevin pleaded on the verge of frustrated tears,

"She's relied on me the past year and a half, more so than anyone else and now we're leaving her in her own private hell!"

"I know, Kevin, I know," Andrew replied, unable to say anymore as he lowered his face to his hands.

Her patience running thin as she saw the tears start to well up in her younger friend's green eyes again, Tess narrowed her eyes at Kevin and sternly interrupted,

"Kevin, that's enough."

Seeing that he was getting nowhere fast, the youngest angel threw his hands up in the air and begged,

"Well then can I at LEAST give her a call? Would that do any harm, Tess?"

Looking down at Andrew again and seeing him looking hopefully up at her, Tess lifted her dark eyes to the sky, as if asking the Father what He thought, and after several moments that seemed like forever to Kevin, the supervisor sighed heavily,

"He says 'yes' to that, Kevin."

Breathing a huge sigh of relief, Kevin turned around and bolted back into the cabin, leaving the two angels behind on the front porch. Without saying a word, Tess reached a hand out to pull her Angel Boy to his feet and as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze, the two friends followed Kevin back insode of the cabin.

Kevin already had the phone in his hands and was dialing the number when Andrew and Tess came into the kitchen, the younger angel's free hand clenching and unclenching,

"C'mon, Cupcake, pick up…please pick up…"

A voice finally came onto the other end of the phone, though Kevin had to strain to hear the barely audible "hello" as his friend and co-worker finally answered,

"Hey kiddo, it's Kevin," He responded gently,

"We hadn't heard from you and I just wanted to check in. Are you at least hanging in there?"

"I'm not sure if I would call it that exactly, Kev," Monica replied quietly, her voice trembling as she fought back tears,

"But it is good to hear a friendly voice…"

"It's good to hear your's too, Cupcake," Kevin replied quietly, his voice getting choked up as he watched out of the corner of his eye as Andrew made his way over to him and the telephone and put his ear close to the receiver so that he could hear the conversation.

"Things just keep getting worse and worse each day, Kevin," The Irish angel uttered miserably, the pain evident in her voice,

"I didn't think they would, but the dreams have stopped...the Father stopped them, and they haven't come back in 2 months. I'm so lost, Kev, just so lost..." Her voice broke on a sob and Andrew's emerald eyes filled with tears as he longed to be there with her once more.

"I know, kiddo, I know," The youngest angel replied with a heavy sigh, not really sure of what to say right now to make her feel any better.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Kev…" She whispered brokenly,

"It's all gone wrong and there isn't any way to get it back…I feel like I'm dying inside…"

Tears now falling from Kevin's eyes, he held the receiver tightly in his hand,

"Monica, listen to me, please…talk to the Father, Cupcake…please just talk to Him. He can help you with this, no matter how angry you are with Him, just keep talking and don't stop until you are where you need to be, please…"

"I'm trying, Kevin…but…I get so angry…" She choked on another sob.

"I know, and that is okay, kiddo, it is," He uttered back, not bothering any longer to try to stop his tears,

"He's the one who can help you and He's waiting to do that…"

"How, Kevin?" Monica whimpered through her tears,

"How do I do that...when I'm just so angry at Him...?"

"Just take it one step at a time, kid, and you will make it. I promise you; we all promise you...and so does God," Wiping at the tears in his eyes, Kevin turned his head to look up at his supervisor and swallowed back another sob as he saw the tears rolling down Andrew's face,

"Please, Cupcake? Please?"

A sob escaping her throat, Monica forced out the next words, trying to keep her voice from trembling like mad,

"I-I'm t-trying...I'm trying...so hard..."

"And you keep trying, Cupcake, okay?" The younger angel whispered through his tears,

"Andrew would want you to keep on trying and not to give up on anything right now."

"I know…" She whispered, now crying softly though she tried to hold it back,

"I know he would…I miss him so much…"

"I know you do," The younger angel replied gently, hearing her quiet weeping.

Knowing she could no longer control her tears, she managed to choke out to him,

"I…I need to go, Kevin…I can't talk…"

"Just remember what I said, Cupcake, please? I love you, we all love you and we miss you." He uttered, wiping at his eyes as he tried to stop his tears.

"I..I love you too…" The Irish angel sobbed, before she softly hung up the phone.

As he heard the soft click of the telephone line, Kevin continued to hold tightly to the receiver as he softly sobbed, his head hanging low. Finally, he forced himself to hang it up and then turned back to his two friends, but all three were silent in the kitchen before Andrew spoke up.

"Thanks for calling her, Kev," The supervisor's voice was barely audible as he spoke.

Nodding his head miserably in reply, the youngest angel wiped a hand over his face again before speaking,

"I...I just hope that she'll take what I said to heart, Simba. I don't know how much longer I can stand seeing her apart from you..."